Saturday, March 24, 2007

Stray Cat Strut

1. Ted Nugent... no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!

2. "Your only chance of success in Hollywood is if Richard Gere jams you in his arse," sneered Simon Cowell.

3. ♫ "Love to eat them mousies/Mousies what I love to eat/Bite they little heads off/Nibble on they tiny feet." ♫

4. "... and then I said, 'I can't help it, I have a barbed penis!' Thank you, you've been great!"

5. ORA ♫ "I'm being followed by a moon shadow..."♫

6. ♫"And me in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon..." ♫

7. "You've been a great audience. By the way, try the Kung Pao chicken... it used to be my dad."

8*. ♫ "Basketball Jones... I got a basketball Jones..." ♫

Best of Submariner
So, anyways, a Persian, a Siamese and a Tabby walk into a bar...

Best of Double the U
Attention, I need a price check on some kitty litter.

Best of prince of leaves
Ginger's stint as halftime entertainment was cut short when three of her nipples suddenly and unexpectedly emerged from the fur on her belly.

Best of Frank IBC
"Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York … And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and then we're going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! MMMMRROOOWWWRR!!!"

Best of Submariner
♪Felines...
Nothing more than felines...
Trying to forget the
Hot, noisy, kitty sex...♪

Best of Jack Reacher
"G-31. Did someone say Bingo?"

Best of Cricket
"Mem'ry, all alone in the moonlight..." I can sing that better than that Streisand hund any day.

Best of Submariner
So, I just got back from a wi-i-i-i-i-ild weekend in San Fransisco! The catnip must be a bit stronger than I'm used to - I don't remember what I did, but I've smelled like orangutan ever since I woke up...

Hat tip: Subby
* Thanks, Sondra K

26 comments:

Submariner said...

So, anyways, a Persian, a Siamese and a Tabby walk into a bar...

Submariner said...

Anybody smell tuna?

Submariner said...

What the...
What are you trying to pull? This ain't no "Crazy Candy!"

Double the U said...

Attention, I need a price check on some kitty litter.

Double the U said...

Poop in her shoes? Check
Pee on the comforter? Check
Chew up various things around the house...

prince of leaves said...

It took catching Toonces in the act for Jim and Diane to figure out who was calling the "Hot Pussy" 900 numbers on their VOIP account.

prince of leaves said...

Nancy was surprised when Felix taught the voice interface to recognize meowing...and not a little put off by the incessant sexual innuendo that followed.

prince of leaves said...

Ginger's stint as halftime entertainment was cut short when three of her nipples suddenly and unexpectedly emerged from the fur on her belly.

the paperboy said...

It starts innocent enough as a Mousketeer. Then she becomes a kitty idol, slowly transforming into a sex kitten. Then she goes berzerk, shaves her head and enters rehab.

Frank IBC said...

"Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York … And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and then we're going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! MMMMRROOOWWWRR!!!"

Zeke said...

seizing his chance the young kitten threw the lever, electrocuting his owner and freeing him from the search for Lemiwinks, deep in the bowels of Mount Sullivan.

Submariner said...

♪Feelings...
Nothing more than feelings...
Trying to forget the
Hot, noisy, kitty sex...♪

Submariner said...

"Trying to break into show business almost starved him until that fateful chance meeting in an I-96 rest area with a Kellogg's executive."
When we return, Tony's star begins to shine with the creation of the catch phrase - "They're grrrrreat!" as E: True Stories continues with the Tony the Tiger life story.

Double the U said...

All my instincts are wrong! First the mouse was plastic and metal, and now this snake has no meat, wake me from this nightmare.

Double the U said...

Sadly the only selection for cat Karaoke was "Cats singing Jingle Bells"

Double the U said...

Okay, check this out, I will record subliminal messages to the humans that will play back while they work..."Get rid of the dog.... get rid of the dog..."

Jack Reacher said...

"G-31. Did someone say Bingo?"

"And here's another one from the soundtrack of 'Hello Pussycat.'"

Double the U said...

EAT MORE CHICKEN!

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

... so this one guy, he's all depressed and decides to end it all.

He goes downtown and jumps off the tallest building he can find. It's twenty stories high. He goes up to the top, says good-bye the the world, and takes a running leap over the edge.

On the way down he gets fancy and does a double back flip in layout position with a triple twist. He enjoys doing this so much that he changes his mind about the whole suicide thing, and just before he hits the ground he straightens up, lands on his feet, and walks away without a scratch.

From the building across the street two cats sitting on a ledge have watched the whole thing. One cat turns to the other and says:

"See! That's how you do it!!!"

attmay said...

Toonces Sings the Cole Porter Songbook

Cricket said...

"Look! He's about to say his first words!"

"Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow meow meow" (Meow Mix jingle)

Morris the cat star struck at an early age...

"Mem'ry, all alone in the moonlight..." I can sing that better than that Streisand hund
any day.

Submariner said...

So, I just got back from a wi-i-i-i-i-ild weekend in San Fransisco! The catnip must be a bit stronger than I'm used to - I don't remember what I did, but I've smelled like orangutan ever since I woke up...

Anonymous said...

For a singing kitten, she had purrfect pitch!

Submariner said...

♪What's new pussycat?
Mrowr-er-owr-er-owr-eow...♪
Tabby Jones

Cricket said...

Pussy proceeds to aurallly stimulate
her audience.