Friday, March 30, 2007

Nunnery Gunnery


1. The Catholic Church was never the same after Dick Cheney was named Pope.

2. The first ad in the NRA's campaign to broaden its appeal went over well. The second one, featuring Islamic fundamentalists, not so much.

3. "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Pwotestants."

4. "So, Sean Hannity supports birth control. We'll see about that!"

5. To appease CAIR and show balance, the seventh season of 24 will feature a different kind of terrorists.

Best of Targetpractice
A sampling of the virgins Allah has waiting for those "brave" jihadis.

Best of metalgarth
Discipline at "Our Lady of Peace Junior High School" followed a tight Zero Tolerance rule.

Best of divine miss m
A preview from the long-awaited screen adaptation of Steve Martin's Renegade Nuns on Wheels.

Best of Double the U
Hillary has got a surprise if she thinks she can only stop here in an election year, steal the collection plate and slap Sister Mary Catherine on the buttocks again.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Tell Mr. Ted Turner his ten o'clock is here."

Best of Cybrludite
"We have an effective manner of dealing with children who pass notes during Catechism studies. PULL!"

Best of Double the U
Hey Mr. Kerry, we can give your one of them thar hun'tin licenses.

Best of mo fo
Tonight on PBS: the Flying Nuns vs. the Flying Imams.

Best of sonicfrog
♫ Happiness
is a warm Nun's gun... ♫

From: The Corner

30 comments:

Targetpractice said...

A sampling of the virgins Allah has waiting for those "brave" jihadis.

metalgarth said...

Discipline at "Our Lady of Peace Junior High School" followed a tight Zero Tolerance rule.

divine miss m said...

Nuns and priests were created equal; Browning and Sr. Mary Joseph make damn sure it stays that way.

jeff said...

"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!"

"So those rabbits think they're going to get into our garden, eh? We don't think so!"

divine miss m said...

A preview from the long-awaited screen adaptation of Steve Martin's Renegade Nuns on Wheels.

Submariner said...

ORA?

Sally Field always hated "Trap-Shoot Fridays."

GOP & College said...

Wyatt's dreams as a single man...

Double the U said...

Proving once again gun ownership is a bad habit.

Double the U said...

No one ever fell asleep at St. Mary's Church and the collection plate was full.

Double the U said...

Hillary has got a surprise if she thinks she can only stop here in an election year, steal the collection plate and slap Sister Mary Catherine on the buttocks again.

Jack Reacher said...

Thinking the convent had a collection of Americana, the reporter was surprised when the nuns showed off their Remington collection.

"Tell Mr. Ted Turner his ten o'clock is here."

divine miss m said...

One look at this week's Thursday Dolly and Sr. Mary Immaculata knew it was time for a crackdown on enforcement of the school dress code.

Rodney Dill said...

Here to make sure the only meat you eat on Friday is none.

Submariner said...

Your penance will be 3 Seig Heil Mary's and an Oh Brother...

Submariner said...

Unknown to Rodney Dill, the Sister's at St. Bone-Adventure had decided the night before to crack down on wise-asses... He would come to rue the crack about "eating none."

Submariner said...

ORA?

"Heard you were havin' a little trouble here, Pork..."

Anonymous said...

Reminds me... Buy A Gun Day is on April 15.

prince of leaves said...

St. Annies' Church may not have an organ or bells, but they give one heck of a 21-gun salute.

prince of leaves said...

Vatican Boot Camp -- where meek novitiates become tough as nails knuckle-breakers.

prince of leaves said...

"All right, which one of you called us 'penguins'?"

curly said...

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

"Curly my lad, you've been on the CapThis web site during Lent, haven't you?"

"So that abortionist Nancy Pelosi is going to Syria to make nice with the Islamofacists, is she?"

Cybrludite said...

Next up on Grindhouse: "Nunz With Gunz!"

Cybrludite said...

"We have an effective manner of dealing with children who pass notes during Catechism studies. PULL!"

Double the U said...

Hey Mr. Kerry, we can give your one of them thar hun'tin licenses.

Double the U said...

I don't want to say my Catholic Kindergarten class was tough but here is picture of the sisters.

mo fo said...

Tonight on PBS: the Flying Nuns vs. the Flying Imams.

Even the Sisters of Bloody Mercy have their limits.

Double the U said...

Before the Holy hand grenade could be used, The Pope sent out the Holy rifles.

Double the U said...

After blowing himself up in a school yard Mohammad stood in the after life shocked and saddened when he found out there was only five virgins, and they were pissed off.

sonicfrog said...

Bringing God one step closer... the easiest way we know!

sonicfrog said...

♫ Happiness
is a warm Nun's gun... ♫