Saturday, March 03, 2007

It's Hard Out Here for a WNBA Mascot

1. "Damn, How can I work with Dennis Kucinich looking over my shoulder."

2. The Valentine's Day gift was the last straw. The Hillary staffer filed a sexual harassment lawsuit that was eventually settled with two .38 slugs to the back of the head in a vacant lot in New Jersey.

3. Her electricity bill wasn't the only thing Tipper had that was 20 times larger than the national average.

4. Thanks to a job training grant, Kaneesha went from crackwhore to Rosie O'Donnell's personal assistant... then back to crackwhore.

5. "Dear Patty Ireland, I regret to inform you that the National Organization of Women's balloon design for the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade has been rejected..."

Best of Van Helsing
Shrillary may be getting a little ahead of herself by having already picked out her outfit for her inauguration.

Best of jeff
Street ad costume for the Jenna James/Nina Hartley film festival.

Best of evariste
The Giant Walking Vagina's Monologues bored Tawanda, who was just trying to have a cup of coffee in peace.

Best of jeff
The scheduler who allowed the visit of the Oscar Myer Weinermobile the same day as the Womyn's Center rally has been fired.

Best of Jack Reacher
"So the idea is, we sneak this into Kennedy's bedroom while he's passed out, wait for him to wake up, and watch the fun. Seriously, it'll be the fastest onset of D.T.s ever."

Best of divine miss m
"This is nothing," said the giant hoo-ha in Keisha's recurring nightmare. "Have you seen what's hiding in your john?"

Best of Double the U
The writers at Saturday Night Live had several ideas before settling on "Land Shark"

Best of AM42
"Gee, mom... it was really nice of you to make my Halloween costume for me, but I meant the guy from the Sopranos."

Best of AM42
"Thank you. I just had it stuffed"

Best of prince of leaves

For reasons they never quite grasped, the Clitorians found it difficult to be taken seriously as the would-be alien overlords of Earth.

Best of The Man
Fox tries a new show. Are You Smarter Than a 300 Pound Vagina.

Best of Rodney Dill
Plumber....
candy gram....
land twat....

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The original concept for the Stargate was a bit...odd.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Feed me, Seymour!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Michael Moore had to come out of somewhere.

Best of Rodney Dill
Dear Diary, I'll never live down the embarassment, my friends wanted me to wear a "Count" Dracula costume."

Best of Rodney Dill
The new Doonesbury caricature for Roadham Clinton.

Best of prince of leaves
Behold: Labiathan!

Best of Zeke
I can't tell is that Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?

Best of Jonathan
"Dear Penthouse, I didn't think anything like this would EVER happen to me, but..."


Hat Tip: Subby

55 comments:

Van Helsing said...

Shrillary may be getting a little ahead of herself by having already picked out her outfit for her inaugural address.

GOP & College said...

"You know...they have surgery to fix that now."

Talk about "hot dog in a hallway."

evariste said...

Assy McGee's gonna shit when sees this!

jeff said...

NOW has a unique new way to punish rapists...

Street ad costume for the Jenna James/Nina Hartley film festival.

Sex ed just got a whole lot more interesting at this high schoool...

evariste said...

The Giant Walking Vagina's Monologues bored Tawanda, who was just trying to have a cup of coffee in peace.

jeff said...

The scheduler who allowed the visit of the Oscar Myer Weinermobile the same day as the Womyn's Center rally has been fired.

Submariner said...

Dick Cheney smiled, "Finally! One sized to handle me..."

Submariner said...

Wearin' this kinda makes you the a-hole doesn't it? I'm just askin'...

Jack Reacher said...

Ironically, Lynette had never heard the term "queef," although an enormous one is what killed her one Tuesday afternoon.

"So the idea is, we sneak this into Kennedy's bedroom while he's passed out, wait for him to wake up, and watch the fun. Seriously, it'll be the fastest onset of D.T.s ever."

divine miss m said...

"This is nothing," said the giant hoo-ha in Keisha's recurring nightmare. "Have you seen what's hiding in your john?"

dswife said...

er sub,

the *head* of the costume isn't really the a-hole...it's another part of the female anatomy.

don't feel bad; most men can't find it anyway! ; >

Submariner said...

dswife said...
er sub...


I was thinkin' more about bein behind it, but whatever floats your boat...

Submariner said...

The missing piece gives a totally new interpretation to the old kids game, "Button, button, who's got the button?"

Double the U said...

The writers at Saturday Night Live had several ideas before settling on "Land Shark"

Anonymous said...

You put your left and in,
you take your left hand out,
you put your left hand in and you shake it all about.

AM42 said...

"Gee, mom... it was really nice of you to make my Halloween costume for me, but I meant the guy from the Sopranos."

AM42 said...

"Thank you. I just had it stuffed"

prince of leaves said...

Sheila's thought bubble: "Gosh, what is that strange smell? Sea bass?"

prince of leaves said...

Attack! Of the Killer Vaginaaaaa!!!

Anonymous said...

"Has anyone seen my keys?"

prince of leaves said...

For reasons they never quite grasped, the Clitorians found it difficult to be taken seriously as the would-be alien overlords of Earth.

prince of leaves said...

Sheila was dismayed to find that pulling its string didn't make it talk.

prince of leaves said...

Goa'uld females used a special version of the Sarcophagus to keep their hosts feeling fresh.

prince of leaves said...

Eschewing the traditional phallocratic imagery of a devil on the shoulder, militant feminists visualize temptation in a wholly different way.

bubbalove said...

ORA: "Pants. I come from Pants." said Cooter Conehead.

Midnight...Shrillary's newest intern has noticed the fishy smelling fog but doesn't notice that it's coalescing into into corporeal form behind her. Where does Hillary go at night? And why did the other girls look so..so..slimy this morning?

Don't let Rosie 'O'Donnell see that or she'll drop her 'wife' faster than her latest diet!

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING...
Although the original intent was to offend, Apalachian State's Womyn's Studies Department has once again played the victim card, filing assault charges against a campus male who had begun wearing a full body condom circa "Naked Gun" and chasing those wearing the "Vergie" costume.

When asked if any arrests were expected, Campus Security just giggled and replied "...at least he's being responsible and it will be safe sex if he ever catches one..."
Developing...

The Man said...

Fox tries a new show. Are You Smarter Than a 300 Pound Vagina.

Rodney Dill said...

Girl (Thinking): "Man, why do I keep smelling fish?"

Rodney Dill said...

Plumber....
candy gram....
land twat....

Rodney Dill said...

Bill Clinton went as himself, to complement the girl in the vagina costume.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Son Of The Godfather said...

The original concept for the Stargate was a bit...odd.

am42 - Loved the Soprano's cap. :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Feed me, Seymour!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Monica's husband is a huge pussy.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Michael Moore had to come out of somewhere.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey Monica... Do you ever feel, you know, not so fresh?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Get that disgusting, smelly thing outta here!...And take the vagina costume with ya as well!"

Submariner said...

As you'll see shortly, being PW is not limited to men...

Rodney Dill said...

Dear Diary,
I'll never live down the embarassment, my friends wanted me to wear a "Count" Dracula costume."

Rodney Dill said...

The new Doonesbury caricature for Roadham Clinton.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

After the bad publicity Sharper Image suffered last year, they retooled and redesigned the Ionic Breeze air purifier to appeal to a less discriminating target demographic, Lesbians!

Double the U said...

Dear Diary, I think I have finally found a way for Bobby to notice me.

Submariner said...

Somewhere, Pee Wee Herman is now becoming a master weight-lifter, specializing in the clean and jerk....

Double the U said...

Don't forget to put vinegar on that shopping list.

prince of leaves said...

Behold: Labiathan!

Zeke said...

"Original Dr. Who Reference" Isn't this from the episode where the sea monsters (you know the green balloons with streamers attached) chased Dr. Who into the Light house?

Zeke said...

I can't tell is that Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?

Zeke said...

"voice of British Naturalist" Here we are lucky to observe the Pussigina about to pounce on a victim. Notice it's meat curtains have been pulled open and you can see deep into the bowels of the beast.

Zeke said...

The new uniforms for Koala handlers in Australia.

Rodney Dill said...

Queefing Sub-Woofer

sixdegreesofblondness said...

I'd hate to see the speculum!

John Holmes, you've finally been dwarfed!

Submariner said...

The introduction of modern technology allowed natives new appeasement strategies to mollify King Kong.

Jonathan said...

Ellen writes: "Dear Penthouse, I didn't think anything like this would EVER happen to me, but..."

Jonathan said...

ORA:

"Hey, hey! (Clap-clap)
Ho, ho! (Clap-clap)
This penis party's got to go!
Hey, hey! (Clap-clap)
Ho, ho! (Clap-clap)..."