Monday, March 05, 2007

The Inevitable Democrat Pick

1. "Maybe this will help my fake southern accent."

2. "Excuse me while I dig out the Karl Rove Tracking Implant."

3. And Hillary threatened to keep eating boogers on the Senate floor until her Federal Flannel Shirts for Single Women subsidy was included in the McCain Amnesty Bill.

4. "Hold on, still got some of Ellen and Portia's female ejaculate in there."

5. "Ya gonna eat that?" an aroused Ted Kennedy wanted to know.

6. "Mmm, still smells like Rosie."

7. Hillary gives the signal. A moment later, the blood of Barack Obama and his assassin would mingle on the senate floor.

8. Moments after her inauguration, Hillary touches the switch inside her nose and reveals her true form.

Best of jeff

"Hang on, the air pressure in here is getting a little high, let me work the valve a little."

Best of Submariner
...and Bill's a grinnin'...

Best of Occasional Reader
Okay, maybe if I do the southern accent, dress like I'm auditioning for "Arsenic and Old Lace", AND pick my nose, I'll finally get invited along on the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour".

Best of Submariner
I know I have that Capitol diorama here somewhere...

Best of Submariner
Five bucks says the fat kid picks her nose.
Ten bucks says she eats it...

Best of Van Helsing
Shrillary proudly dug out a five-pounder. But before she could eat it, her skull caved in.

Best of Cricket
From the Senate floor, Hillary guides the probe into socialized medicine.

Best of Jason
I'm showing this to my fiancee to prove to her that women do it too.

Best of jeff
Jason: How does showing her Hillary does it prove that women do it too?

Best of attmay
Funny, most witches can twitch their noses without using their fingers.

Best of Passionate Conservative
"Look! Jimmy Hoffa!"

Best of nevergrewup
Mrs. Clinton falls asleep, and stabs herself in the nose while prerecording her, I did not have sex with that woman speech.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Okay, so I'm not clean like Obama, but I've got that articulate part down pat."

Best of sonicfrog
And now, a woman with a tape recorder up her nose...

Best of Rodney Dill
Well she picked a booger when she got Bill.

Best of Emily Litella
She may have picked a booger when she got Bill, but it was Monika who
uh..oh. Never mind.

Best of Rodney Dill
Life is short.... eat dessert first.

Best of Submariner
"Boogie Nights" Hillary quickly established herself as Senate Charades champion.


Hat tip: A.M. Mora y Leon

34 comments:

jeff said...

"Hang on, the air pressure in here is getting a little high."

Most women like her are considered gold diggers. Hillary always did have to be different.

Submariner said...

...and Bill's a grinnin'...

Submariner said...

Shrillary Clinton; champion picketer.

Submariner said...

Dawn; "No, no, honey. I meant when we went 'shopping' you could pick out something in the STORE that you'd had your eye on for a while..."

Submariner said...

ORA:

When a nice clean brain tumbles into the dirty street to lay among the discarded wrappers and spat-out gum wads of wickedness, you can't just pick it up and wash it off with soap and water; you have to think it clean from the inside out.

Occasional Reader said...

[interior monologue:]

Okay, maybe if I do the southern accent, dress like I'm auditioning for "Arsenic and Old Lace", AND pick my nose, I'll finally get invited along on the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour".

Submariner said...

I know I have that Capitol diorama here somewhere...

Submariner said...

ORA?

Five bucks says the fat kid picks her nose.
Ten bucks says she eats it...

Submariner said...

Irish lace imported for collar?
$379/foot
Hair by Jerome?
$750
Bill Blass dress?
$4500
Picking your nose on national TV during a Presidential campaign?
F'N A PRICELESS!

Submariner said...

Taking the old cliche to heart: You can pick your frineds and you can pick your nose, but...

Van Helsing said...

Shrillary proudly dug out a five-pounder. But before she could eat it, her skull caved in.

Cricket said...

From the Senate floor, Hillary guides the probe into socialized medicine.

Jason said...

I'm showing this to my fiancee to prove to her that women do it too.

jeff said...

Jason: How does showing her Hillary does it prove that women do it too?

attmay said...

Funny, most witches can twitch their noses without using their fingers.

Passionate Conservative said...

"Look! Jimmy Hoffa!"

prince of leaves said...

Unwilling to mess up her $300 hairdo, Hillary scratches the crown of her head from the inside.

nevergrewup said...

Mrs. Clinton falls asleep, and stabs herself in the nose while prerecording her, I did not have sex with that woman speech.

Jack Reacher said...

"Okay, so I'm not clean like Obama, but I've got that articulate part down pat."

While humming "The Internationale," New York's junior senator demonstrates her ability to change pitch at will.

Senator Kennedy asked, excitedly, "Hey, are, uh, you going to, uh, eat that?"

Submariner said...

Somewhat off topic -

"CLINTON PLANS MAJOR APPEAL TO WOMEN: Will begin an ambitious new effort Tuesday to enlist thousands of women to play roles in her presidential campaign..."

Actual Drudge headline - I had to re-read it three times before I realized it said "play roles" and not "role play" which I thought was unusual even for the Shrill...

The Man said...

That's right! WHo's #1?

sonicfrog said...

And now, a woman with a tape recorder up her nose...

Rodney Dill said...

"Those dang cigars."

Rodney Dill said...

Well she picked a booger when she got Bill.

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary unveils the subject of her college thesis -- Picking the Right Healthcare Plan

Emily Litella said...

She may have picked a booger when she got Bill, but it was Monika who
uh..oh. Never mind.

Anonymous said...

Hill's physical response when asked about her picks for the Supeme Court.

Rodney Dill said...

Life is short.... eat dessert first.

Rodney Dill said...

Scanner attack

Rodney Dill said...

This picture has been PETA approved!

divine miss m said...

Noseminers are mouthbreathers.

Submariner said...

Nose-Miner,
Scab-Farmer,
Clam-Slurper,
Faux-Hawk,
My Gaia! Is there ANYthing Hill can't do?

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstraylian:
"Boogie, Man"

Submariner said...

"Boogie Nights"

Hillary quickly established herself as Senate Charades champion.