Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Giant Scribble? Ball of Yarn? Snoop Dogg Walking on Shag Carpet on a Cold Day?

1. A bystander was killed today by a hairball from Tuesday's cats.

2. Clarence Thomas's parting gift to Anita Hill, a giant ball of pubic hair.

3. Forget the giant hairball, I just wanna know which Barney Frank intern is wearing the sissy pink vest with the powder blue backpack and yellow Herb Tarlek shirt.

4. "As you wish, Holy Giant Hairball, all the infidels die tonight!"

5. At the end of the campaign, Hillary hung Barack Obama's scalp on the wall as a gruesome reminder to all who would oppose her.

6. "And here is where we crossed out all the inaccurate information in Al Gore's Global Warming documentary."

Best of Occasional Reader
(ORA) "I see... three elephants, making love to a mens' glee club."

Best of Capt. Queeg
"..and this next slide shows the brain wave patterns of a Level 5 BDS attack at 1X magnification..."

Best of Van Helsing
That's some hairball. But you should see the blond one Janet Reno coughed up after her date with Shrillary.

Best of Submariner
John Madden telestration of Armageddon.

Best of prince of leaves
The Museum of Primitive Art is pleased to present the works of Eddie Kulaski, idiot savant and Spirograph obsessive-compulsive.

Best of prince of leaves
When it came time for the "Trading Spaces" reveal, Tim was devastated to discover the "art project" the neighbors had made on his hand-polished solid ebony paneling.

Best of prince of leaves
But the lines weren't solid, after all -- they were made up of the words "I HATE CHIMPY MCBUSHITLER!", meticulously lettered over and over again in long, self-intersecting chains of infantile narcissism.

Best of The Man
I'll take "items found in Andrew Sullivan's colon" for $400.

Best of attmay
Concerned about the spiraling budgets of movies, Paramount cut the budget of Indy 4 by about 99%.

Best of Rodney Dill
Charlie Brown never did get the kite flying thing down.

Best of Jonathan
"Welcome to 'The Dark Side' with Nat X, the ONLY 15-minute show on TV!"

Best of mo fo
In his younger days, Obama was known for having the biggest, most rad 'fro in the hood.

Best of the paperboy
In Stargate TNG, the gate momentarily coughs up an enormous hairball, which the galactic traveler must then climb through.

Best of sonicfrog
Tookie Williams Lives!!!

Hat Tip: AM42

Source: Roto-REUTERS/Victor Fraile (SPAIN)

28 comments:

Occasional Reader said...

(ORA) "I see... three elephants, making love to a mens' glee club."

Occasional Reader said...

(Another, related ORA)

"Yes, an interesting piece. It speaks to me of man's existential estrangement, alone in a cold universe devoid of pity or meaning."

Mm. So... what are you doing Saturday night?

"Committing suicide."

Oh.

How 'bout Friday night?

Capt. Queeg said...

"..and this next slide shows the brain wave patterns of a Level 5 BDS attack at 1X magnification..."

Van Helsing said...

That's some hairball. But you should see the blond one Janet Reno coughed up after her date with Shrillary.

Submariner said...

John Madden telestration of Armageddon.

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan giggled uncontrollably; "The possibilities at this factory are ENDLESS!"

prince of leaves said...

The Museum of Primitive Art is pleased to present the works of Eddie Kulaski, idiot savant and Spirograph obsessive-compulsive.

prince of leaves said...

When it came time for the "Trading Spaces" reveal, Tim was devastated to discover the "art project" the neighbors had made on his hand-polished solid ebony paneling.

prince of leaves said...

But the lines weren't solid, after all -- they were made up of the words "I HATE CHIMPY MCBUSHITLER!", meticulously lettered over and over again in long, self-intersecting chains of infantile narcissism.

prince of leaves said...

Your NEA dollars at work. Whatever would we do without public funding of the arts?

The Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Man said...

I'll take "items found in Andrew Sullivan's colon" for $400.

Jack Reacher said...

Art major: I see primal rage, focused and concentrated.
Economics major: The potential of that ink was so much greater, if it had been employed differently.
Law major: You could sue the company that made the marker.

Rodney Dill said...

"OK, now try the spyrograph with the caffeine."

attmay said...

Concerned about the spiraling budgets of movies, Paramount cut the budget of Indy 4 by about 99%.

Rodney Dill said...

Charlie Brown never did get the kite flying thing down.

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING:
al'Gore wowed the crowd last night when his mood displayed as an actually visible aura when the "inconvenient truth" of his home's energy usage was disclosed publicly.
While he expressed himself clearly when asked for comment, being a family blog we are unable to print the response.
Developing...

Jonathan said...

SNL reference: "Welcome to 'The Dark Side' with Nat X, the ONLY 15-minute show on TV!"

mo fo said...

Howard Dean, spokesman for the Democratic presidential candidate Hairball, caused quite a stir when he said that Senator Hairball refused to appear on any debates televised on the ‘conservative’ FoxNews channel.

While succumbing to US-led UN demands to cease further uranium enrichment, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad nonetheless won a minor victory by being allowed to put pictures of hairballs on new 50,000-rial note instead of an atom.

mo fo said...

In his younger days, Obama was known for having the biggest Afro in the neighbor hood.

mo fo said...

After touring a high tech carrot packaging factory, the next stop on President Bush’s tour was a visit to the ‘Pride of Mexico’, a giant hairball that was the forth largest in the world.

Next on “Hairball with Chris Matthews”: Evil Republican men and the sleazy whores who love them.

the paperboy said...

In Stargate TNG, the gate momentarily coughs up an enormous hairball, which the galactic traveler must then climb through.

the paperboy said...

We just found the pubic hair for that 300 pound vagina.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Who the heck put Rosie's mucous plug on the wall?

Submariner said...

Greenwich Village artist's rendition;
"Woody Allen - Happy Thoughts."

sonicfrog said...

Tookie Williams Lives!!!

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows that mosques are decorated with geometric patterns because depictions of the human form are forbidden. Educate yourselves, you islamophobic morons.

Anonymous said...

Well actually I should have said "abstract patterns"--that thing's not too geometric.