1. "A tongue-bath? No, thanks, Senator Clinton."
2. "I'm bored. If only I had a crate of hand-washed Mexican carrots or some toilet-lid horseshoes."
3. "Very nice," said the Mormon Missionary. "Now, may I please have my shirt back?"
4. Every Thursday, Senator Clinton disappears into her bathroom for half an hour with a laptop and a cucumber. No one knows why.
5. "What do you mean it's not Memorial Day yet? What are you, 'Serial Mom?'"
Best of Double the U
You know how I know you're gay? 'Cos you noticed the shirt in the picture.
Hat Tip: Ace