Sunday, February 18, 2007

Wouldn't it be cool if her face froze like that?

1. "Who! Does! Number Two! Work for!"

2. "Botox treatments... wearing off... face snapping back... the pain! the pain!"

3. "I don't know who Elizabeth is, but Mrs Pelosi sure is happy to be going to wherever she is.

4. "When did queefing get so competitive?"

5. "Told ya. Ben-Gay in the Kotex dispenser works every time."

6. Pelosi suffers a sudden flashback to the Democratic Womyn's Leather Retreat, when she walked in on Hillary in the shower and found out that was no strap-on!

7. Then, unexpectedly one morning, Pelosi developed a conscience, and the guilt from years of destroying America and undermining the troops caught up with her in one fell swoop.

8. "Can't you kids see Grandma Nanny is on the crapper?"

9. "Kids, Granma Nanny can no longer feel her face because of the botox and she has to talk to the nice reporters. Am i smiling or is my face contorted in a horrifying death rictus?"

10. "Arrrgh! Those horrible flags! Like crucifixes to a vampire, they are!"

Best of Lyn
"Get off my foot."

Best of Van Helsing
Once the full moon began to rise, nothing Pelousy could do would stop the transformation.

Best of Brian in MA
Giddy, Pelosi shouted in ecstacy: "Hey little Mexican boy and other assorted day laborers, er, minorities, do you need a job after school? I know a great vineyard you can work at!"

Best of Adjustah
"Melting! I'm melting..."

Best of curly
Trying to stay hip and with it when it comes to ass ornaments, Granny Babs is still not quite comfortable with the newly installed black license plate on her butt.

Best of curly
“Yes Satan, I hear you loud and clear! Can you turn the volume down a bit, Sir?”

Best of WALSTIB
"That's the last time I leave home with Depends Lite."

Best of Submariner
Must.Resist.Urge.To.Fondle.Pert.Asian.Buttocks...

Best of Submariner
If I was on MY plane I wouldn't HAVE to sit in the middle of these little snot-gobblers...

Best of attmay
"Okay, Nan. You can do it. You CAN go a whole day without eating a small child. One day at a time, Nan," she thought to herself.

Best of WhoopsieDaisey
Shoulda checked that my Gyno removed the speculum BEFORE I left her office...

Best of prince of leaves
"Get...out...of my...miiiinnnndddd!!!"

Best of prince of leaves
"I wanna be first in line! I wanna be first in line! I wanna be first in line! How come I never get to be first in line?!?" -- Nancy Pelosi, reenacting the childhood moment when she decided to become a Democrat politician.

Best of prince of leaves
Speaker Pelosi grew increasingly agitated when she repeatedly failed to lure the children into her oven.

Best of Submariner
Next on Montel: When home clitoridectomies go bad.

Hat Tip: Knowledge is Power

32 comments:

Lyn said...

"Get off my foot."

WALSTIB said...

ora
"Christ! Did a cow shit in here?!

WALSTIB said...

"Hillary said to bring her the morning sacrifice. $hit. Which one of this little crappers was it?"

Van Helsing said...

Once the full moon began to rise, nothing Pelousy could do would stop the transformation.

Brian in MA said...

Giddy, Pelosi shouted in ecstacy: "Hey little Mexican boy and other assorted day laborers, er, minorities, do you need a job after school? I know a great vineyard you can work at!"

Adjustah said...

"Melting! I'm melting..."

curly said...

"What are all of these kids doing here? Haven't their parents ever heard of abortion?"

curly said...

"Smiling, happy kids; boys and girls pairing off; patiotic and full of love...I'm waisting my time here, these kids must be evil Republican!"

curly said...

Trying to stay hip and with it when it comes to ass ornaments, Granny Babs is still not quite comfortable with the newly installed black license plate on her butt.

curly said...

“Yes Satan, I hear you loud and clear! Can you turn the volume down a bit, Sir?”

Anonymous said...

The kids stood around expectantly, waiting for the splash...

WALSTIB said...

"That's the last time I leave home with Depends Lite."

Submariner said...

Oh, the humanity!

Submariner said...

All.These.Failed.Abortions...
Must.Go.To.Happy.Place...

Submariner said...

So, Granny Nanny; what exactly IS the DNC's exit strategy for Iraq?

Submariner said...

Must.Resist.Urge.To.Fondle.Pert.Asian.Buttocks...

Submariner said...

They put their hands in white paint and then all over the Roe v. Wade sign; is it REALLY too much to ask them to use taco sauce and put 'em all over me?

Submariner said...

If I have to sit through one more chorus of "Gawd Bless Amerikkka" I made combust!

Submariner said...

If I was on MY plane I wouldn't HAVE to sit in the middle of these little snot-gobblers...

attmay said...

"Okay, Nan. You can do it. You CAN go a whole day without eating a small child. One day at a time, Nan," she thought to herself.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Shoulda checked that my Gyno removed the speculum BEFORE I left her office...

prince of leaves said...

"Get...out...of my...miiiinnnndddd!!!"

Rodney Dill said...

Photo Op meets Spontaneous Orgasm,
Score.

Rodney Dill said...

While the teams were being picked for Dodge Ball all that was going through Pelosi's mind was "Please don't get picked last."

(that and "I hope I get that damned 757")

Anonymous said...

"Oh shit, not another refueling stop!"

prince of leaves said...

"I wanna be first in line! I wanna be first in line! I wanna be first in line! How come I never get to be first in line?!?" -- Nancy Pelosi, reenacting the childhood moment when she decided to become a Democrat politician.

prince of leaves said...

Speaker Pelosi grew increasingly agitated when she repeatedly failed to lure the children into her oven.

Submariner said...

Asian girl; "I'm standing here next to her so I know she's smelly. Daddy was talking about what she does in Washington, so I know she's a pirate. What's a 'hooker' do?"

Submariner said...

Next on Montel:
When home clitoridectomies go bad.

Adjustah said...

Nnnnnnnn...POP!

Rodney Dill said...

Pelosi: "Crap, You bite just one finger and suddenly you're labeled a cannibal."

Submariner said...

Note to self; Don't eat the Senate Cafeteria Bean Soup before a photo op...