Thursday, February 08, 2007

Wheeeee!



1. Dr. Katzenbed was a psychiatrist who specialized in nymphomania. Money magazine just declared his, "the best freakin' job in America."

2. "What do you think of my clitoral piercing?"

3. "Big deal, lady. I've seen Andrew Sullivan wrap both legs around the back of his neck and hold the position for up to nine hours... in a truck stop restroom!"

4. "Men with a fetish for having their noses picked with stiletto heels... Next Springer."

5. "Which reminds me, our guest will be appearing next month at the Pantages Theater in The Vagina Monologues..."

6. "Perhaps, 'What is your position on pre-marital sex,' was an awkward way to phrase that question."

7. "Queefing should be an art form."

8. "In my next movie, I play a left-wing blogger who goes to work for a sleazy politician. It's called The Sperm-Burping Gutterslut Who Hated All Christians."

9. Mother would be so proud... if mother is a cigarettey ex-hooker with a gambling problem and various psycho-functional disorders.

10. "Oh, Snap! My laxative just kicked in."

Best of sonicfrog
Yep, George Takei is definitely NOT interested.

Best of Submariner
Although most dancers use their arms for the "Y - M - C - A," I like this version better...

Best of DoubleU
Rob Schneider thought to himself, if I was taller, better looking and made more money, and had a personality... I could get me some of that.

Best of ThatGayConservative
"So that's where my keys went!'

Best of curly
With the untimely demise of Anna Nicole Smith, competition for the role of “Disgraceful National Slut” really began to heat up.

Best of curly
By spelling “V the K” with her legs, the bimbo starlet was almost guaranteed some much needed coverage on the world renowned CationThis! website.

Best of curly
Tonight on “Charades”, Hilarity ensues as the cast and audience try to figure out the clues to the phrase “John Kerry is a pussy”.

Best of Van Helsing
"Go ahead, put your head forward. I thought you didn't believe me that I can cut it off in one snip."

Best of attmay
Rob Schneider, imagining himself as a piece of construction paper.

Best of Adjustah
Jesus lady, that stinks worse than Judge Dredd...

Best of Jeff
So, are those Prada?

27 comments:

sonicfrog said...

Yep, George Takei is definitely NOT interested.

sonicfrog said...

Who knew that breaking wind could be this hot?

sonicfrog said...

What guests do between commercials on the Tonight Show.

V the K said...

Damn it! I could have gone for the Lindsey Lohan joke!

Anonymous said...

"Hello

hello... hello..."

Dick said...

"I'm Mork's little sister, Pork from Ork."

Submariner said...

Rob Schneider mumbled; "It's ok, I guess, but I'm really in the mood for some goat..."

Submariner said...

Although most dancers use their arms for the "Y - M - C - A," I like this version better...

DoubleU said...

Rob Schneider thought to himself, if I was taller, better looking and made more money, and had a personality... I could get me some of that.

ThatGayConservative said...

"Hey! I can hear the ocean!"

"So that's where my keys went!'

The Mint Green anal wipes guy declined to demonstrate on TV.

Anonymous said...

Where will YOU be when your diuretic kicks in?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

After the tragic failure of the "saw-a-woman-in-half" trick, former magician's assistant Brandi enjoyed brief fame on the talk-show circuit.

curly said...

With the untimely demise of Anna Nicole Smith, competition for the role of “Disgraceful National Slut” really began to heat up.

By spelling “V the K” with her legs, the bimbo starlet was almost guaranteed some much needed coverage on the world renowned CationThis! website.

Tonight on “Charades”, Hilarity ensues as the cast and audience try to figure out the clues to the phrase “John Kerry is a pussy”.

curly said...

When asked how she got her first break in landing an acting role, the starlet replied “let me show you!”

Seeing their North American market share slip, auto manufacture Volvo unveils their new advertising campaign where the brand name is spelled out long legged bimbos.

curly said...

“Something’s amiss with my clitoris!”

Van Helsing said...

"Go ahead, put your head forward. I thought you didn't believe me that I can cut it off in one snip."

andthenblammo! said...

"Hey, that's really cool! Make the next one hard-boiled, willya, so it doesn't make such a mess when it lands!"

lawhawk said...

Simon says wrap your legs behind your head. Oops. You lose. But we win.

Jack Reacher said...

Mom always said if I move my legs like this, they'll stick that way, and I was, like, "So what?"

Kevin Walker said...

"Oh, where can I get that dress? And those shoes! I must have them!" Andrew Sullivan yelped in excitement.

SicDegreesofBlondness said...

"Oh sure, you guys have your 'road bombs' but I bet you can't get yourselves off through layers!"

sixdegreesofblondness said...

uhm... make that siX (whose idea was it to put the "x" and "c" right next to each other, anyway?!)

attmay said...

Rob Schneider, imagining himself as a piece of construction paper.

Adjustah said...

Jesus lady, that stinks worse than Judge Dredd...

Rodney Dill said...

Split personality

attmay said...

Good lord, those are some HUUUUUGE bunyans!

Jeff said...

So, are those Prada? Manolo? StripperGear?