Tuesday, February 20, 2007

See No Evil

1. Cindy Lou learns the hard way about the venom sac in Senator Clinton's throat.

2. "I did *not* see a bulge in her pants. I did *not* see a bulge in her pants."

3.Schlump. Schlump. Gulp. "So, voters, clearly if I am tough enough to, ha-ha, rip out the eyes of a toddler and eat them on C-SPAN Live, I am tough enough to, ha-ha, deal with 'Evil Men,' ha-ha."

4. "See what happens when you spray it directly into their eyes? 'No More Tears' my gigantic ass!"

5. "Little Cindy Lou is just one of the thousands of horrific SuperGlue victims who will be protected by my new legislation."

6. They thought Cindy Lou was just being silly, until Hillary opened the Ark of the Covenant.

7. Cindy Lou didn't give a damn what the shrill dyke was yammering on about, she was too busy preparing for her Oedipus audition.

8. "I see my good friend Rosie O'Donnell has just joined the 'Boobs for Peace' movement."

9. "So, you're what... seven? And you're still playing peek-a-boo? Let me tell you how I'm going to increase Special Education funding for little mongoloids like you."

10. Cindy Lou thought, Ohmigawd, does she even listen to herself while she spews that neo-communist claptrap? I'm embarrassed to be a girl.

Best of andthenblammo!
"But I don't want to have two mommies!"

Best of andthenblammo!
"I don't care how famous that little Dutch boy is, I'm not putting my finger in that!"

Best of curly
“Make it go away Daddy! Make it go away!”

Best of curly
“It rubs the lotion in its eyes, or its squeezed by my thunderous thighs.”

Best of Van Helsing
Shrillary's open fly resulted in severe psychiatric trauma for little Cindy Lou.

Best of WALSTIB
"Butt I don't want to wear the buttless chaps, again!"

Best of Submariner
Thought bubble; "...it's only a tail... it's only a tail... it's only..."

Best of curly
“…and when I’m President, we’ll not only allow partial birth abortions but infanticide up to age six, which would include this whiny little Mongoloid right here.”

Best of Double the U
"MOM! Zee goggles, they do nothing!

Best of prince of leaves
Though President-for-Life Hillary claimed she was doing it "for the children", little Cindy Lou just couldn't watch as David Horowitz and Katherine Harris were dragged up against the wall and shot.

Best of prince of leaves
"And of course, without the advances in stem-cell technology made possible by my work in the Senate, donor clones like Cindy Lou here wouldn't have been possible..."

Best of prince of leaves
Where will you be when your "OMIGOD! I LOOKED INTO ITS SOULLESS EYES!!!!!" kicks in?

Best of Double the U
Mommy that monster that hides under my bed at night is standing right in front of me!

Best of Jack Reacher
Senator Clinton tells a little girl "You could grow up to be just like me," unintentionally costing the girl's parents thousands of dollars in therapy bills.

Best of Double the U
Mommy, Mommy (sob) do all girls hips grow up to be that wide?

Hat Tip: Sondra K

29 comments:

andthenblammo! said...

Horror strikes the poor little girl as she realizes she's between two Clintons and her name is.........Monica.

andthenblammo! said...

"But I don't want to have two mommies!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Ohmygawd, if this bunch of mouthbreathers is the village Hillharpy was talking about raising me, I'm doomed! Doomed!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Quick, Toto, before she digests Brandon! 'There's no place like home (clicks shoes), there's no place like home'.........."

andthenblammo! said...

"I don't care how famous that little Dutch boy is, I'm not putting my finger in that dyke!"

curly said...

“It takes a village; I takes this little girl.”

Yes Virginia, there is a Satan Clinton.

Knowing that her two timing husband was no pedophile, the untouchable Cindy Lou soon became Hill’s most trusted advisor.

“Make it go away Daddy! Make it go away!”

Accidentally bumping into Hillary, Cindy Lou scraped her eye on Hillary’s new license plate ass adornment.

In a realization that was beyond her tender years, young Cindy Lou weeps at what America has become to have such a person as Hillary Clinton as a presidential candidate.

andthenblammo! said...

".......ninety-nine, one hundred! (uncovers eyes) Aaagh! She's still here!! (covers eyes) one hundred and one, one hundred and two....."

curly said...

“…with an even more open border with Mexico, young Cindy Lou can have her own illegal alien to cover her eyes for her.”

andthenblammo! said...

Little Jennifer screamed and covered her eyes, but she knew her Bible stories, and felt herself slowly turning into a pillar of salt.

curly said...

“It rubs the lotion in its eyes, or its squeezed by my thunderous thighs.”

Van Helsing said...

Shrillary's open fly resulted in severe psychiatric trauma for little Cindy Lou.

WALSTIB said...

"No, not the buttless chaps, again!"

WALSTIB said...

"Mr. V the K, enough with the butt pictures already; can we move on?"

Submariner said...

Keee-RAP!
I thought only lefty BLOGGERS queefed like that!

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "...it's only a tail... it's only a tail... it's only..."

curly said...

Taking a queue from Al Gore’s use of carbon offsets, Hillary hires the pure and innocent Cindy Lou for ‘queef offets’ – an eye stinging task for the young girl.

Recovering from a stampede, an injured Cindy Lou made the mistake of getting between Hillary Clinton and a live television feed.

“…and when I’m President, we’ll not only allow partial birth abortions but infanticide up to age six, which would include this whiny little snot right here.”

Rodney Dill said...

"... and I think its safe to say that Speaker Pelosi won't speak out of turn and embarass me again... you can uncover your face and go sit down now dear."

Rodney Dill said...

Surrogate Face Saver

Double the U said...

"MOM! Zee goggles, they do nothing!

affablerants said...

As Mrs. Clinton drifted off, she could see herself attending the annual 'Mayday' viewing of the arms.
Oh the tanks,the missiles and that lovely squad of hardbodied female snipers..."Is it hot in here, or is it just me ?", wondered the former first lady while spontaneously self moistening.

affablerants said...

(little girls thoughts) "It's only the campaign - It's only the campaign - It's only the campaign - She's not president yet - She's not president yet...."

prince of leaves said...

Though President-for-Life Hillary claimed she was doing it "for the children", little Cindy Lou just couldn't watch as David Horowitz and Katherine Harris were dragged up against the wall and shot.

prince of leaves said...

"And of course, without the advances in stem-cell technology made possible by my work in the Senate, donor clones like Cindy Lou here wouldn't have been possible..."

prince of leaves said...

Where will you be when your "OMIGOD! I LOOKED INTO ITS SOULLESS EYES!!!!!" kicks in?

Double the U said...

Mommy that monster that hides under my bed at night is standing right in front of me!

Jack Reacher said...

I'm not old enough to vote against her; this is the best I can do.

I swear, if she says "for the children" ONE MORE TIME....

I am so baked. Hil, that was awesome weed. But do we have to go back to your hotel room later?

Senator Clinton tells a little girl "You could grow up to be just like me," unintentionally costing the girl's parents thousands of dollars in therapy bills.

bubbalove said...

Hill-elzebub quickly noticed the little girl reacting to the stench of thousand year-old death beginning to waft from her nether regions. Hmmm. An emergency coven meeting with the right incantations, a sacrifice of a virgin and a quick infusion of her blood and I'll be good to go!

attmay said...

Hillary '08: She can cause childhood psychological traumas like no president since Taft (but unlike Taft she can do that WITH clothes).

Double the U said...

Mommy, Mommy (sob) do all girls hips grow up to be that wide?