Friday, February 09, 2007

The Pit and the Pendulum


1. "Nanny wanna big plane! Nanny wanna big plane!" Bush knew the best way to handle a five-year-old's temper tantrum was to just walk out of the store.

2. "Nancy, all your shadow puppets look the same to me, like a whiny socialist reaching for my wallet."

3. "It was a one-night stand. Get over it."

4. Harpy (har'pee) [n]: 1: a creature with an intolerable screeching voice. 2: a creature with an intolerable screeching voice who won't shut the hell up about having to refuel in Denver while a taxpayer-funded luxury bizjet carries her botoxed ass back to San Francisco. E.g. "Bush tried to escape the harpy's screeching, but the harmonics were already causing his right hand to dematerialize."

5. "Down low too slow. Psych!"

6. "Ewwww, she touched my hand, now I've got girl cooties! Wait, I'm not Andrew Sullivan."

7. "Don't you turn your back on me, BushCo! I want to see your face when I kill you! I want to see the light leave your eyes!"

8. (Bush does Carnak.) A. Snakes on a Plane. Q. "What do you call Pelosi, Murtha, and a bunch of DNC contributors flying back to San Francisco on a taxpayer-paid luxury jet"

9. Even a die-hard Bolshevik feminist like Nancy Pelosi can't control herself in the presence of Alpha male Mansweat.

10. "So, you're a little teapot. Good for you. Now, excuse me while I try to win this war."

Best of Michigan-Matt
The President: "Lay off the botox, lady. You're looking more like Spock each day and I'm not going to teach you the Vulcan handshake."

Best of Straight8
No, Nancy, I will not pull your finger. What else ya got?

Best of Jack Reacher
"Don't look at me, Mr. President, I'm hideous."

Best of Van Helsing
"Come back, George. I promise I won't queef again."

Best of Submariner
♪ STOP! In the name of love, before you break my heart... ♪

Best of Submariner
Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.

Best of curly
“No Nancy. I outrank you and will therefore interrogate the buxom young fence jumping illegal alien myself.”

Best of curly
“Don’t you have an abortion clinic to protect somewhere, Granny?”

Best of Submariner
Lost in her own little fantasy, the Queen of Botoxia attempts to "rip the still beating heart" from her arch-enemy...

Best of andthenblammo!
"Hell, no, Mom, I'm not kissing Granny!"

Best of andthenblammo!
"Hey, George, don't run off with that knife! There are some troops' backs I want to stick it in, too!!"

Best of prince of leaves
"Honestly, Mr. President! I didn't really mean to introduce you as 'the right-wing christofascist warmongering oil-obsessed fascist dictator illegally occupying Al Gore's White House'...it just sorta slipped out..."



Hat Tip: Franco IBC

27 comments:

Michigan-Matt said...

The President: "Lay off the botox, lady. You're looking more like Spock each day and I'm not going to teach you the Vulcan handshake."

Straight8 said...

No, Nancy, I will not pull your finger. What else ya got?

Jonathan said...

VtK, this was one of your best ones yet!

Jack Reacher said...

"Somewhere, over the rainbow..."
"Don't look at me, Mr. President, I'm hideous."
"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers with big checkbooks."
Crap, Bush looked at Pelosi, and now he's turned to stone.

Rachel said...

I sooo love #10

Van Helsing said...

"Come back, George. I promise I won't fart again."

Submariner said...

STOP! In the name of love, before you break my heart... ♪

Submariner said...

ORA:

Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.

curly said...

“Is that a surge in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

“No, you cannot use my lighter to burn these flags!”

“I fart in your general direction!”

“That’s a great imitation of a Boeing 757-200, but that answer is still ‘no’.”

“Now watch as I make the President pace back and forth like a caged target.”

curly said...

“No Nancy. I outrank you and will therefore interrogate the buxom young fence jumping illegal alien myself.”

“Don’t you have an abortion clinic to protect somewhere, Granny?”

Submariner said...

Lost in her own little fantasy, the Queen of Botoxia attempts to "rip the still beating heart" from her arch-enemy...

andthenblammo! said...

"Hell, no, Mom, I'm not kissing Granny!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Hey, George, don't run off with that knife! There are some troops' backs I want to stick it in, too!!"

Jeff said...

"Please Mr. President, I'm reaching out to you here...please tell me how to handle Harry Reid!"

prince of leaves said...

"Honestly, Mr. President! I didn't really mean to introduce you as 'the right-wing christofascist warmongering oil-obsessed fascist dictator illegally occupying Al Gore's White House'...it just sorta slipped out..."

prince of leaves said...

"Oh-hoooooooo no, Nancy, I don't want anything to do with your 'Boobs for Peace' rally...yeeeesh!"

prince of leaves said...

"Sorry, Nancy, but I *know* where *that* hand's been..."

prince of leaves said...

In an ironically appropriate skit at the Press Corps Dinner, George and Nancy act out the scene where Rearden wipes his shoes of Lillian in "Atlas Shrugged".

attmay said...

Number 31 on the list of things liberals are just no damn good at: Shadow Puppets.

The Pink Hammer said...

Sorry, Nancy, can't help you. Try Sully, I'm sure he knows how to handle "Hairy Reeds."

prince of leaves said...

Within five minutes of being posted at Democrat Underground, this photo generated 2,345,656 comments expressing histrionic outrage at Bush's apparent disrespect for Pelosi, reducing the site's servers to a pile of sizzling silicon slag.

Double the U said...

Bush: "No Nancy...now STOP asking!"
Polosi: "Oh, come on George..(hic) give me the keys to Air Force One. I haven't had that much to drink!

Grr said...

"Help! Zombie Attack! Fetch My Shotgun!"

Adjustah said...

With a wave of her hand, the Sith Lord commands her drone to do her bidding...

Submariner said...

Stand back Nancy, whilst I whips this out...

Rodney Dill said...

"Nigara Falls? Slowly I turned..."

nevergrewup said...

"No, Nancy, thats it. You and you alone get to look at the Roswell aliens in the basement. Harry will scare them and Senator Kennedy will try and uhh (well you know) them."