1. Hillary was so impressed with Ellen's deep throat, she immediately agreed to the three-way.
2. "Portia, get me some stones. I feel like breaking some bones."
3. "This is the strap-on I used on Calista Flockhart."
4. "This is too the correct thickness for a wife-beating stick. Check your Koran, infidel!"
5. The hot thing among Hollywood lesbians? One big french fry.
6. "Ellen, I don't care how much you paid on eBay, using Susan B. Anthony's shin bone for a toothpick is disrespectful."
7. "Suddenly, I don't want to sell deathsticks. I want to go home and think about my life."
8. "Wow! an entire foot-long corndog in one swallow. I guess you weren't always a lesbian, huh, Ellen?"
9. "Yeah, she knows I picked my nose with that. It's her private fetish."
10. "Oh, great, Hillary and Rosie are revving their Harleys in the parking lot. This could go on for hours."
Best of Submariner
THAT'S no way to kill roaches!
Best of Van Helsing
A moment later, Ellen Degenerate thrust her head forward, impaling her brain and finally earning herself the attention she craved as various relatives and lesbian lovers squabbled in court over her corpse.
Best of Submariner
Welcome to "Degenerate Karaoke" where every song is a double-entendre. I'll start things off:
♪If you knew sushi, like I "know" sushi...♪
Best of Adjustah
Olive Garden: When you're here, you're Femi-Nazi.
Best of Double the U
It is thicker and much much longer then the Hollywood liberal men she used to date.
Best of prince of leaves
Why is Portia smiling like that, you ask? Because that long, skinny thing sticking out of Ellen's mouth is her prehensile tongue.
Best of Cybrludite
Um, Ellen, that's a double-ended anal dildo. You might not want to... ewww. Nevermind.
Best of sonicfrog
Well, if that's the best she can do, then I guess it's OK she turned lesbian on us.
Hat Tip: The Aesthetically-Challenged American.