Friday, February 16, 2007

Have I Done This One Before?



1. Val's Day in Teheran. No decadent western cards or candy, just lots of wholesome halal butt-sex.

2. Ahmadinejihad is accustomed to being 'accommodated' by the US State Department.

3. "72 Virgins for the one who finds my contact lens!"

4. Unable to get enough uranium for a nuclear weapon, Ahmadinejihad sees what he can manage with a hundred martyrs, a thousand Taco Bell burritos, and a Zippo.

5. "And your last meal was sniff kebab with sheep and a side of cabbage..." Ahmaddinejihad still hoped Letterman would book him on 'Stupid People Tricks.'

Best of Van Helsing
Mad Mahmoud wonders how many butts he could kick and then get out the door without anyone seeing who did it.

Best of curly
Ahmadinejihad seems perplexed as to which of his submissive 72 virgins would enjoy his attentions first.

Best of curly
Beheadings are red, my balls are blue,
Here in the back of the mosque, I’m thinking of you.

Best of Straight8
How many more do we need? Just one and we have the Guiness record? Gotcha, I'm goin' in.

Best of Submariner
Ahmadinejihad's thought bubble; "I hope to Allah that nobody ate at the 'Colon Blow Cafe' for lunch..."

Best of The Pink Hammer
I don't know what they're doing, one of them said a U.S. diplomat told them to kiss their asses goodbye?

Best of prince of leaves
"Aww, mom, do I have to bend over and smell their stinky behinds?" After a particularly spicy falafel dinner, Armanidinnerjacket's nightmares take him back to his abusive childhood.

Best of Rodney Dill
"I sure hope Dr. Akmed was right when he said our nuclear program needed a critical ass."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Psst, hey Kobe, They're all open, but don't tell Hardaway."

Best of WALSTIB
"Did him, did him, did him, oh yeah, boy did I do him, did him....Hey! I didn't get a hurumph out of that guy!

30 comments:

WhoopsieDaisey said...

I'll take "Andrew Sullivan Fantasies" for $200, Alex...

The Man said...

Allah's inside joke. Martyrs must read the fine print, as the 72 virgins clause could turn out to be a literal pain in the ass.

The Man said...

"fire"
"seriously guys, there is a fire"
"FIRE"

ok, this might work....

"Jack Bauer"

Van Helsing said...

Mad Mahmoud wonders how many butts he could kick and then get out the door without anyone seeing who did it.

curly said...

“Piss be upon them.”

Seens from a future Paradise: Ahmadinejihad seems perplexed as to which of his submissive 72 virgins would enjoy his attentions first.

curly said...

Ahmadinejihad receives his country’s highest honor, the 21 Gun Salute.

“While I deplore the decadent west’s fantasies about Superheroes and such, it’s times like this that I wish I had Superman’s Xray vision.”

curly said...

Beheadings are red, my balls are blue,
Here in the back of the mosque, I’m thinking of you.

Straight8 said...

How many more do we need? Just one and we have the Guiness record? Gotcha, I'm goin' in.

Submariner said...

Group think, jihaddi-style.

Submariner said...

I give - are these wrestlers prepping for a big national match or just people ragging on Rex Grossman?

Submariner said...

Ahmadinejihad's thought bubble; "I hope to Allah that nobody ate at the 'Colon Blow Cafe' for lunch..."

Submariner said...

Note to self - check pn the status of the sheep later...

sonicfrog said...

Amagonnajihad finds himself confronted with the dark side of Islam.

sonicfrog said...

Heh! I farted!!!!

The Pink Hammer said...

I don't know what they're doing, one of them said a U.S. diplomat told them to kiss their asses goodbye?

prince of leaves said...

In a candid moment, a questioning Mahmoud Ahmadinejad thinks that maybe, just maybe, he isn't the one who will usher in the return of the Twelfth Imam, after all.

prince of leaves said...

"Aww, mom, do I have to bend over and smell their stinky behinds?" After a particularly spicy falafel dinner, Armanidinnerjacket's nightmares take him back to his abusive childhood.

prince of leaves said...

Ahmadinejad's thought bubble: "Hmm...bend over and sniff the butt funk of a thousand hummus-eating men while the fool in the pulpit ullullates for Allah? Or listen to that screeching harpy Clinton beg for cash and votes 8 caps down? Are those my only choices?"

prince of leaves said...

Mahmoud would later be beaten by the muttaween for raising his head from his rug during nap-time.

curly said...

With the coincidence of synchronized farting, a likeness of Ahmadinejihad appears as if by hologram.

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "hmmmmmm, this view reminds me of Avalon Manor..."

divine miss m said...

Once again, the Iranian National Rectal-Cranial Inversion Team goes for the gold.

Rodney Dill said...

"I sure hope Dr. Akmed was right when he said our nuclear program needed a critical ass."

Rodney Dill said...

No one ever noticed that Brokeback Mahmoud always stood to the west at prayer.

Rodney Dill said...

"Psst, hey Kobe, They're all open, but don't tell Hardaway."

curly said...

Meant to submit:

Ahmadinejihad receives his country’s highest honor, the 21 Bum Salute.

Rodney Dill said...

Looking for Harry Potter's butt double.

WALSTIB said...

"Did him, did him, did him, oh yeah, boy did I do him, did him....Hey! I didn't get a hurumph out of that guy!

Rodney Dill said...

Mahmoud always has trouble figuring out which asshat to wear.

WALSTIB said...

When Mahmoud pitches...everyone catches.