Saturday, February 10, 2007

Getting Gay With Kids

(Real Caption) Students in teacher MB's classroom have been wearing their “respectacles” as they learn lessons on character education from Social Worker JB. In this program, these young thoughtful students discuss ways to handle hurt feelings and to resolve conflicts “without hands and feet.”

1. "Who needs testicles, when you've got respectacles?"

2. Ironically, most of the hitch-hikers Billy would later pick-up would also be found "without hands and feet."

3. "These 'beer goggles' aren't cuttin' it. You're still not Debra LaFave."

4. "Wouldn't it have been easier just to write 'dork' on our foreheads with Magic Markers?"

5. While the rest of the class just felt dorky, Billy fretted that the respectacles would never go with the fabulous pumps he had seen at 9 West.

Best of Submariner
"Sally! Only whores and left-wing bloggers queef like that!"

Best of prince of leaves
One of the first things the children learned to respect was JB's phonic tic, which made her twitch her lips and exclaim "What's up, Doc?" at random intervals.

Best of prince of leaves
MB was later investigated when the class progressed from respectacles to tolerance teddies and multicultural cat-suits.

Best of Double the U
BILLY'S A FAG! BILLY'S A FAG... hey Billy, you wouldn't punch a guy wearing respectacles would you?

Best of attmay
Mrs. Schmidlapp's 2nd grade class celebrates Black History Month by dressing up like Steve Urkel.

Best of curly
At the DailyKOS day care, the youngsters have to study hard if they wish to graduate to the tin foil hats.

Best of curly
“No sweetie, you don’t look gay in the glasses. Not any gayer than little Eddy or young Robert does, that is.”

Best of Submariner
ehhhh, I KNEW I shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque...

Best of attmay
Unbeknownst to all but her closest friends, Rue McClanahan has a retarded twin sister named Sue who lives in a group home in Kalamazoo.

Best of Submariner
As part of his community service plea-bargain, Paul Williams was assigned to be an assistant at Judy's Special Ed Day Care.

21 comments:

Submariner said...

Lunchtime! Who wants to help with making the meal? I have some fava beans cookin' and the chianti's chillin'...

Submariner said...

Really, Sally! You're too young to queef like that.

prince of leaves said...

One of the first things the children learned to respect was JB's phonic tic, which made her twitch her lips and exclaim "What's up, Doc?" at random intervals.

prince of leaves said...

Little Billy's respectacles were "bifocal", if you know what I mean...

prince of leaves said...

Character education based on tolerance and relativism left the children defenseless against the demonic wiles of Damian, shown here with a red shirt and satanic red eyes.

prince of leaves said...

"Skyler, it's inappropriate and not humanly-aware to discuss female genital mutilation in a multicultural lesson on the wonders of Islam...now sit down and shut up before I send you to the muttaween-- er, principal."

prince of leaves said...

MB was later investigated when the class progressed from respectacles to tolerance teddies and multicultural cat-suits.

Double the U said...

Although Trevor and Bruce took the lesson very seriously, Suzie and Max found it all very amusing.

Double the U said...

Okay we made these dumb glasses out of pipe cleaners... do we have to make that dumb face also?

Double the U said...

BILLY'S A FAG! BILLY'S A FAG... hey Billy, you wouldn't punch a guy wearing respectacles would you?

attmay said...

Mrs. Schmidlapp's 2nd grade class celebrates Black History Month by dressing up like Steve Urkel.

attmay said...

♪R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
That's what you won't get from me.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
You look B-A-D
Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me... ♪

Double the U said...

Social Worker JB told the students that some day she hope to have a pair of testicles but that lesson was for another day.

Rodney Dill said...

Laugh now, in 15 years you'll be workin' for one of them.

WALSTIB said...

Hey, which one of you cut the cheese?

Jeff said...

"What a dork. I can'be believe Jimmy mixed blue, red and black," thought Meagin.

Two words: Teacher's Revenge.

curly said...

At the DailyKOS day care, the youngsters have to study hard if they wish to graduate to the tin foil hats.

“It’s not working, teacher. Despite the goofy glasses, you’re still one ugly she-hag.”

It was obvious that the workers lacked any dental plan at the DailyKOS day care.

“No sweetie, you don’t look gay in the glasses. Not any gayer than little Eddy or young Robert does, that is.”

Submariner said...

ehhhh, I KNEW I shoulda taken a left at Albuquerque...

attmay said...

Unbeknownst to all but her closest friends, Rue McClanahan has a retarded twin sister named Sue who lives in a group home in Kalamazoo.

Submariner said...

As part of his public service agreement, Paul Williams was assigned to be an assistant at Judy's Special Ed Day Care.

Goneval said...

Getting Gay With Kids

That sounds pretty f*cked up!