Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Chuckles the Clown

1. "With my army of Triffids, I will take over the world."

2. "All right, then. Eight more trees and Camilla and I will have enough greenhouse gas off-sets for dinner at Taco Bell."

3. "What do you mean 'Look at the potted pansy?' There aren't any flowers out here."

4. "Oh, this is industrial hemp? No wonder I get nothing from smoking it. Thanks, Wills."

5. "Hello, constable. Any luck with finding those two missing schoolgirls who were kidnapped, strangled, and buried in my garden? Nope, well, good day, sir."

Best of silhouette
"The flat end you say?"

Best of prince of leaves
"And when I become king and put the UK under shariah, this lovely beheading sword gifted to me by the late King Fahd will replace the Curtana in the Crown Jewels."

Best of prince of leaves
Bloom County ORA: "FIGUREHEAD!!!"

Best of prince of leaves
"Why, no, I haven't seen mummy at all. Now if you'll excuse me, I simply must get to my crown fitting..."

Best of Submariner
I'm "Prince Charles," dammit. Quit calling me Bonnie.

Best of divine miss m
" I am the Lorax; I speak for the trees!"

Best of GOP & College
"Behold! The Ugly Stick they whacked Camilla withI"

Best of affablerants
"You're sure this is the only way to get the 'football' game on the telly ?"

Best of affablerants
"I christen thee 'Hempalot'. Oh hurry up with the bong, won't you darling ? Our baby's budding !"



News Item: Inbred British Retard Issues Fatwah Against McDonald's.

28 comments:

jeff said...

"So Camilla, what do you think of my manly sceptre?"

"Harry can go attack the Iraqi's - I'm armed to attack this tree!"

"Okay, I'm done posing, come over here Ethan and take this from me - I'm not getting this 2000 pound suit the least bit dirty!"

jeff said...

"Okay, I've buried the Big Mac AND the bloody pasty!"

Silhouette said...

Bizarro world George Washington. Plants a cherry tree, but lies about it.

Submariner said...

Hows about a chukker or two, old chap? You take the pony, I'll ride Camilla...

Submariner said...

This old suit? I got it off a black chap in Washington.

Rodney Dill said...

George Washington can kiss my ass.

Submariner said...

I don't see why everyone thinks finding truffles is in the least difficult. I just take a walk with Camilla and she sniffs them out every time...

silhouette said...

"The flat end you say?"

Double the U said...

Plant the tree myself? Oh dearest no, we let the peasants do all the work and then pose for pictures.

Jack Reacher said...

"This is similar to the stick that's up my arse, you know."

A typical English pastime, gardening in hand-made oxblood loafers and a Saville Row suit.

"No, these are not Bugle Boy jeans. Get off this property before I set the hounds loose, peasant."

prince of leaves said...

"Do I fertilize with recycled manure from the palace? Of course not -- we are royals, we don't defecate!"

prince of leaves said...

"And when I become king and put the UK under shariah, this lovely beheading sword gifted to me by the late King Fahd will replace the Curtana in the Crown Jewels."

prince of leaves said...

Charlie's thought bubble: "Dear God I hate these banal photo ops. Those camera-toting bastards will be the first up against the wall when the old hag finally dies and I inherit absolute power as king!"

prince of leaves said...

Bloom County ORA: "FIGUREHEAD!!!"

prince of leaves said...

QE2: "It's okay, Charles, dear...we ALL regret the fact that you traded in Diana on that warhorse divorcee Camilla...now lay down the knife and step away from it."

prince of leaves said...

"Why, no, I haven't seen mummy at all. Now if you'll excuse me, I simply must get to my crown fitting..."

prince of leaves said...

"Oh yeah? I got your royal jewels right here, bloody trespasser..."

Submariner said...

Showing the perfect form learned from observing the suits of armour in the halls, Charles prepares to defend himself from an intruder...

Submariner said...

I'm "Prince Charles," dammit. Quit calling me Bonnie.

divine miss m said...

" I am the Lorax; I speak for the trees!"

divine miss m said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GOP & College said...

"Behold! The Ugly Stick!"

affablerants said...

"You're sure this is the only way to get the 'football' game on the telly ?"

affablerants said...

"Now really, Dianna didn't actually put it in her will for me to navigate my way out of a minefield....did she ?..."

affablerants said...

"Okay, who's the bugger that slipped me the Exlax right before this photo op ?"

affablerants said...

"Yes, I DO look simply smashing,don't I Camilla ?"

affablerants said...

"I christen thee 'Hempalot'. Oh hurry up with the bong, won't you darling ? Our baby's budding !"

affablerants said...

"Oh, alright! How about this then, do I still look gay ?"