Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Arrrgh! My Eyes!


1. "I don't know if Pelosi is a bottomless pit, but once, I was able to get my entire head inside."

2. "May I stick my finger in you?"

3. "Well, it is 28,000 Square feet, so you should be honored that John Edwards named his mansion 'Rosie O'Donnell's Ass.'"

4. "Man, Rosie, you really looked pissed after the SOTU in New Orleans the other week!"

5. The combined gravitational pull of their egos caused the ceiling to warp around them.

6. "Don't be offended, Rosie. I'm sure Senator Biden meant that *most* lesbians are clean and articulate."

7. "Have you seen my purse? It's the one with the entire bucket of KFC inside it."

8. Rosie would come to regret McCain's offer of "one wafer-thin mint."

9. Rosie: "And after President Carter explained it to me, I realized that Jews really are filthy sons of pigs and monkeys."

10. "Yeah, whatever, outta the way, Moby Dyke, you're blocking the buffet table."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Uh, John, you seen Dick Cheney's daughter around here anywhere?"

Best of Submariner
Pardon ME Man I love that Senate Cafeteria bean soup...

Best of Rodney Dill
McCain: "Didja hear the one about two lesbians lost in the woods?"

Best of prince of leaves
"I was too young for that sort of thing when Vietnam was going on, John...would you mind if I spit on you, for nostalgia's sake?"

Best of Double the U
Rosie, I gotta tell you, I thought that "ching-chong ching-chong" stuff was priceless, priceless.

Best of Michigan-Matt
"Wait, wait... give me a second... it'll come to me. You're not Rudy; I love him. You're not Mitt; I hate him. You're not Bush; I hate him too. Let's see... military men all over the place... is that a clue? OK, I give up damn it, what's your name?"

Best of Silhouette
RINO meets WINO (Woman-In-Name-Only)

Best of Jack Reacher
You have unusually large knuckles. Just out of curiosity, Rosie, which rest room are you planning on using?

Best of curly
“Rosie, say this real fast five times: The TRiUMPhant TRUMPet player TRUMPed the TRUMPed up colosTRUM Pump.”

Best of attmay
The senator's hand is going to smell like catfish for a week.


HT: The Ugly American

33 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Rosie: "I don't know, it sounded sexy coming from Tyra Banks, do ya think I could get somebody to kiss my fat ass?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Uh, John, you seen Dick Cheney's daughter around here anywhere?"

Rodney Dill said...

McCain: "I really thought you were great in the Little Rascals, Spanky."

Rodney Dill said...

McCain: "Yeah, I'm still tryin' to get invited over to Edward's new house too."

Rodney Dill said...

"Frankly I don't think The View will be such a hot item after we're under Sharia Law Rosie."

Submariner said...

Katie's were a bit too "perky" for me anyways, if you catch my drift...

Submariner said...

pardon ME
Man I love that Senate Cafeteria bean soup...

Rodney Dill said...

McCain: "Didja hear the one about two lesbian's lost in the woods?"

Shayne said...

Rosie: "Yo, McCain, I eat sh*t like youfor breakfast"

McCain: "You eat sh*t for breakfast?"

curly said...

“I feel like that Mexican guy from the Star Spangled Banner, ‘Jose can you see?’. You’re funk is killing me, Rosie.”

“Rosie, you’re the ultimate Viagra antidote.”

“Daily Kos? In your case, it must mean Kettle Of Sh!t.”

prince of leaves said...

Rosie whispers the secret code-phrase in McCain's ear, activating the long dormant brainwashing and turning him into..."The Manchurian RINO".

prince of leaves said...

"C'mon now, John, why would I want to stab you in the eye with this Sharpie? If I did that, the GOP would actually have to qualify a candidate instead of anointing you, and they might just select someone who could beat my wuv, Hillary."

prince of leaves said...

McCain thought bubble: "Wow, that Monica Lewinsky has really let herself go. Oh well...a hummer's a hummer."

prince of leaves said...

"I was too young for that sort of thing when Vietnam was going on, John...would you mind if I spit on you, for nostalgia's sake?"

prince of leaves said...

Rosie O'Donnell takes over from Bob Dole as the new spokesman for Viagra.

Submariner said...

RINO - "You gotta be kidding me, Rosie; you're the HOTDOG SWALLOWING CHAMP at this picnic?"

Whale - "Yeah. Ironic isn't it?"

Submariner said...

Whale - "If you aren't a Democrat, you aren't sh!t."

RINO - "So if you are a Democrat, you ARE sh!t?"

Submariner said...

RINO - "Letting your hair grow and shaving doesn't change the fact that you're still the pig that created "Fahrenheit 911" Mr. Moore..."

Whale - "I'm Rosie, Senator."

RINO - "same-o, same-o..."

Van Helsing said...

"That was great the way you pointed out how conservative Christians are just as dangerous as Muslim terrorists. I know I can count on your vote."

WhoopsieDaisey said...

>ha, ha, hah!
Trump OWNS you, bi-yotch!

Anonymous said...

"So I'm looking forward to you and the wife coming on our cruise Sen. McCain"

Double the U said...

Rosie, I gotta tell you, I thought that "ching-chong ching-chong" stuff was priceless, priceless.

Michigan-Matt said...

"Wait, wait... give me a second... it'll come to me. You're not Rudy; I love him. You're not Mitt; I hate him. You're not Bush; I hate him too. Let's see... military men all over the place... is that a clue? OK, I give up damn it, what's your name?"

Silhouette said...

RINO meets WINO (Woman-In-Name-Only)

Anonymous said...

Pelosi is a bottomless pit...

I think the punch line is "gee, if you help me find the keys, we can drive out of this mud hole.

Double the U said...

Rosie, (ha-ha) guess what? (ha-ha-ha, tee-hee) I'M A LESBIAN TOO!, (Woa-ha-ha-ha-ha)

Jack Reacher said...

"No, I'm not Roseanne, and no, I can't get you John Goodman's autograph."

"If it would keep her out of the White House, I'd do Hillary."
"Me too, Rosie, me too."

You have unusually large knuckles. Just out of curiosity, Rosie, which rest room are you planning on using?

curly said...

“Rosie, say this real fast five times: The TRiUMPhant TRUMPet player TRUMPed the TRUMPed up colosTRUM Pump.”

“Actually, I’d rather see you wearing a ghillie suit instead of a burka.”

attmay said...

The senator's hand is going to smell like catfish for a week.

sonicfrog said...

Oh, come on. My boobs don't sag THAT much!

Adjustah said...

"Dyke? I didn't say dyke! I said,...ok, I said dyke."

dusty said...

ROSIE: I smell this way because my arms are so short I can't wipe my butt.

Adjustah said...

McCain: "Tell me more about your dancing diapers on the View..."

Rosie: "Seriously, I loved you in 'Revenge of the Sith'..."