Monday, February 19, 2007

Another Kennedy Scumwad Playing with His Hose



1. "Everybody now... 'it puts the lotion on its skin...' "

2. "Uncle Teddy? Your daily vodka tanker is here."

3. "Reverend Sharpton? Your hair oil is here."

4. "Ranch dressing delivery for an ... R O'Donnell?"

5. "Thanks for helping out in Uncle Teddy's annual 'hose off.' Now, who brought the rags tied to sticks to get into his fat crevasses."

6. "And we won't rest until we've pumped glorious communism into every American home!"

7. "Tell the ice cream freighters to stand down. Mr. Moore decided he just wants hot fudge pumped directly into his maw."

8. "Mrs. Clinton's hips are still stuck in the doorway. One of you peasants will have to get another tanker of Jergen's Lotion."

9. "KY delivery for a Mr. A Sullivan?"

10. "Normally, it would be wrong to pump 50,000 gallons of raw sewage directly into Boston Harbor, but ... I'm a Kennedy!"

Best of Brian in MA
"Ted Kennedy's Guantanamo reform bill requires the DoD to remove the velvet chains that separates detainees from thier orange chicken and rice pilaf."

Best of The Man
"Ask not what your country can do for you...ask what you can do to embarrass your country while propping up a dictator"

Best of The Man
I have a delivery of the gay for a Mr. Weir.

Best of Van Helsing
"This new superpower vacuum goes directly into the taxpayer's pocket."

Best of Rodney Dill
Homeland Security Public Service Announcment 347: "Know your Enema"

Best of Submariner
Paxil delivery for B. Spears; and for every 10K units, you get a free wig!

Best of curly
“Here’s the first delivery of your anal bead order, Mr. Sullivan. The beach ball sized beads are in the truck behind us.”

Best of curly
“Look Rufus, I know that you’re the only one without orange gloves, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m racist.”

Best of Silhouette
Volvo-driving Dems reach out to young urban voters. "Look, we've brought some hose, as you are always singing about."

Best of Submariner
Botox delivery for Speaker Pelosi...

Best of affablerants
"...I know! And to think, this is just the seltzer hose for Sen. Kennedys' morning cocktail..."

Best of affablerants
"What are YOU complaining about ya lazy ass ? I voted to increase welfare didn't I ? Why are 'you people' so uppity ?"

Best of affablerants
"Hey Washington, I know we 'bumped into each other' at the raquettclub showers the other day, but can you knock it off with the ironic comparisons already ?"


Hat Tip: Michigan-Mat

21 comments:

Brian in MA said...

"Fearing that the old ball and chain would be cruel and unusual punishment, Ted Kennedy gives the inmates velvet chains to go with thier orange chicken and rice pilaf."

Submariner said...

Conga Line!
♪Duh-duh-duh-duh, DUH-duh♪

The Man said...

"ask not what your country can do for you...ask what you can do to embarrass your country while propping up a dictator"

The Man said...

I have a delivery of teh gay fot a Mr. Weir.

A.M. Mora y Leon said...

Jes' carryin' the hose for Uncle Hugo!

WhoopsieDaisey said...

I'm just going to plug my hose into the orifice and let the juice flow. I'm just saying...

Van Helsing said...

"This new superpower vacuum goes directly into the taxpayer's pocket."

Rodney Dill said...

Picture shown right after the Great Karnac pronounced the answer.
"Twelve turdy"

Rodney Dill said...

Homeland Security Public Service Announcment 347: "Know you Enema"

Rodney Dill said...

or know your enema

Submariner said...

Paxil delivery for B. Spears; and for every 10K units, you get a free wig!

curly said...

“OK Blue State Team, let’s give amerika the hosin’ they asked for last November.”

“Here’s the first delivery of your anal bead order, Mr. Sullivan. The beach ball sized beads are in the truck behind us.”

“Sure, just one fireman could carry this hose by himself, but we’re liberal pu$$ies so it takes a at least a dozen.”

“Look Rufus, I know that you’re the only one without orange gloves, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m racist.”

“Yup, we’re making a killing. You can’t attach the black license plates to the nutroots’ asses without this device.”

Michigan-Matt said...

JoeyK: "Oil from Chavez? Hell no. All the Kennedys took the bribe in liquid gold: best blow from Columbia".

Silhouette said...

Volvo-driving Dems reach out to young voters.

"Look, we've brought some hose, as you are always singing about."

Submariner said...

Botox delivery for Speaker Pelosi...

Anonymous said...

Semen delivery for spunky Katie Couric to bring her up to full spunk.

or
Astroglide delivery for speaker Pelosi, indicating both the degree of dryness as well as the size of the task.

affablerants said...

(whispering) Okay, now remember everyone, when the pro-life parade turns the corner, we blast 'em with the afterbith hose and start flingin' wire hangers at 'em.
Maybe then they'll stop and think about who the REAL victims will be if they are successful...All of us here at N.A.R.A.L. !!!

affablerants said...

"...I know! And to think, this is just the seltzer hose for Sen. Kennedys' morning cocktail..."

affablerants said...

"What are YOU complaining about ya lazy ass ? I voted to increase welfare didn't I ? Why are 'you people' so uppity ?"

affablerants said...

"Hey Washington, I know we 'bumped into each other' at the raquettclub showers the other day, but can you knock it off with the ironic comparisons already ?"

Double the U said...

Hey be quite back there, we don't want those kids to hear us pulling this awful thing out of Mrs Pelosi's ass.