Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Angry Hill

1. "This one will do!" Hillary proclaimed before sinking her fangs into the boys' neck and feasting on his warm, rich blood."

2. "Let me take a good look at you. Hmmm, not bad. Like a young Rosie O'Donnell. Do you have a sister, little boy?"

3. "When I'm president, you'll be able to rat out your parents for counter-revolutionary activities and have them shot. Won't that be fun?"

4. "Ohmigawd, it tried to touch me! Get it away! Get it away!"

5. "Hm, cleft chin, puffy eyes. Could be one of Bill's. Throw him in a landfill and pay off the little mongoloid's family."

6. "You must be the little retarded boy from Boise, I've heard so much about."

7. Her aides panicked. "Damn it! She's not supposed to feed on the flesh of the living when there are cameras about."

8. "Thank you so much for your endorsement, Mr. DeVito. It means the world to me."

9. "And once, Chelsea said 'But socialism has never worked,' so I grabbed her and shook her like this."

10. "Bunt? Runt? Shunt? Damn it, tell me what this label is referring to or I'll rip your mongoloid throat out."

Best of Jonathan
"Dammit, Jorgé, stop guessing what she is and just give her the f#*&in' Crazy Candy!"

Best of Jonathan
Jorgé is wondering "Where the Sam Hillary did her neck go?"

Best of Jonathan
"Why should you vote for me? Do the words 'Vince Foster' mean anything to you?"

Best of Capt. Queeg
"So, Jorge, did you ever see that scene in Alien where Harry Dean Stanton is looking for the cat?..."

Best of curly
“Welcome to America, Jorge. Do you know how I can reach that saucy little fence jumper that I heard about last week?”

Best of curly
“We welcome all the illegals…our soylent green could use some spices.”

Best of curly
Illegal Mexican boys, willing to be touched by the politicians that American boys refuse to be near.

Best of Silhouette
"I see you already have your hat in the correct position. Now, on your knees."

Best of prince of leaves
ORA: "Always remember: the Corps is mother, the Corps is...the other mother."

Best of prince of leaves
Pulling the rug out from under John Edwards, Hillary takes time out from campaigning to heal cripples with a laying on of hands.

Best of prince of leaves
When asked later in life when exactly he caught the gay, Jorge would blame it on the lapdance he got from Hillary backstage at a campaign rally.

Best of Jack Reacher
I was once a pudgy little boy like you, you know.

Best of bubbalove
Susan the young Wiccan apprentice watched with glee but with impotent rage, Terry the Secret Service agent averted his eyes yet again as Hill-elzebub opened her gaping maw and quickly sucked the life-force out of her latest innocent victim!

Best of Cricket
As the Death Eaters kept watch, Lady Voldemort selected her final Horcrux.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Dennis Kuchinich, It's so good to see you again."

Best of Van Helsing
A moment later, Shrillary sated herself by sucking the kid's brains out through the eye socket.

Best of Adjustah
"See, I do have the heart of a small child. Now how do I get it out of her?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes I do have a prick... his name is Bill."

Best of Submariner
Ah, the Farce is strong in this young one. I can use him for my machinations of galactic conquest...



Hat Tip: Knowledge Is Power (again)

36 comments:

Submariner said...

V. - re your #10 and considering the Shrill's hips, why you didn't you include "elephant?" Enquiring minds want to know.

Submariner said...

Funk and Wagnall's pictorial definition entry:
"Rat Terrier shaking a toy."

Cricket said...

"I promise, I won't send you back to Cuba the way Janet Reno did Elian Gonzales. I will make you paddle your own boat."

Jonathan said...

"Dammit, Jorgé, stop guessing what she is and just give her the f#*&in' Crazy Candy!"

Jonathan said...

Jorgé is wondering "Where the Sam Hillary did her neck go?"

Jonathan said...

"Why should you vote for me? Do the words 'Vince Foster' mean anything to you?"

Jonathan said...

"Look into my eyes. You are getting sleepy...sleeeee-py. Your eyelids are soooooo heavy. Soon your brain will shut down, leaving you in a vegatative state. You will then be a Democrat."

Capt. Queeg said...

"So, Jorge, did you ever see that scene in Alien where Harry Dean Stanton is looking for the cat?..."

curly said...

“You have no Daddy? You poor little bastard.”

“Welcome to America, Jorge. Do you know how I can reach that saucy little fence jumper that I heard about last week?”

“We welcome all the illegals…our soylent green could use some spices.”

“We already have enough illegals in our village, thank you.”

Illegal Mexican boys, willing to be touched by the politicians that American boys refuse to be near.

Silhouette said...

"I see you already have your hat in the correct position. Now, on your knees."

Submariner said...

Unfortunately, Jorge's knee to the solar plexus protected him from the Hildabeast onlsaught for only a moment.

curly said...

“I noticed that you didn’t take your hat off during the National Anthem. Does that mean that you don’t understand amerikkkan culture, or are you a True Believer?”

Rodney Dill said...

"Touch me like that again and... I'll give ya a cigar."

Anonymous said...

"All right, you little fartblossom, you will tell me where you hid my dildo!"

affablerants said...

As Mrs. Clinton acted out a scene from her favorite romantic tragedy, "Young Frankenstien",little Juan von Leftowitz was frozen with terror...

Submariner said...

Hillary does her best Janet Reno impersonation.

prince of leaves said...

ORA: "Always remember: the Corps is mother, the Corps is...the other mother."

prince of leaves said...

Pulling the rug out from under John Edwards, Hillary takes time out from campaigning to heal cripples with a laying on of hands.

prince of leaves said...

She holds him with her bony hands,
`It takes a village,' quoth she.
`Hold off ! unhand me, spread-assed loon !'
Eftsoons her hand dropt she.

She holds him with her Medusian eye--
The Rally-Guest stood still,
And listens like a three years' child:
The Senator hath her will.

The Rally-Guest he beat his breast,
Yet he cannot choose but hear;
And thus spake on that shrew woman,
The Sappho-eyed Senator.

prince of leaves said...

When asked later in life when exactly he caught the gay, Jorge would blame it on the lapdance he got from Hillary backstage at a campaign rally.

Jack Reacher said...

I was once a pudgy little boy like you, you know.

Vince Foster; dead. Jim McDougal; dead. Susan McDougal; in prison. Am I getting through to you?

Is your father a tailor? Can he get me a jacket with sleeves long enough to hide my monkey arms?

You know, your t-shirt that says "I like bush" can be taken more than one way. I'm just sayin'.

curly said...

H: “Wake up Curly! You’re my favorite of the Three Stooges!”
C: “Sorry Hildabeast. It’s Lent and I’ve got to offer up something that I really like, and CaptionThis! Is what I really dig. It’s a Catholic thing.”
H: “Give up loving amerikkka or something.”
C: “Forgetaboutit…We’ll cap your thunderous thighs in 40 days!”

Happy Easter! Christ is Lord!

Anonymous said...

Suddenly, an arm burst forth from the creature's chest, grasped its prey with misshapen fingers, crushing tendons and bone alike.

AP: The "Centrist Candidate" for the Democrats performed some outreach at a rally...

CNN: Soon to be President-elect Hillary Rodham C. does a meet and greets. Later, Republican Right Wing Christianist doctors fail to save the life of small boy, probably because of his race.

Steve O

Cybrludite said...

If thou speak'st false,
Upon the next tree shalt thou hang alive,
Till famine cling thee: if thy speech be sooth,
I care not if thou dost for me as much.
I pull in resolution, and begin
To doubt the equivocation of the fiend
That lies like truth: 'Fear not, till Birnam wood
Do come to Chappaqua:' and now a wood
Comes toward Chappaqua.

Cybrludite said...

Redheaded girl in the background: How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?

bubbalove said...

Susan the young Wiccan apprentice watched with glee but with impotent rage, Terry the Secret Service agent averted his eyes yet again as Hill-elzebub opened her gaping maw and quickly sucked the life-force out of her latest innocent victim!

Cricket said...

As the Death Eaters kept watch, Lady Voldemort selected her final Horcrux.

Rodney Dill said...

"Thou shalt not play Kancho with me."

Rodney Dill said...

"Dennis Kuchinich, It's so good to see you again."

Van Helsing said...

A moment later, Shrillary sated herself by sucking the kid's brains out through the eye socket.

attmay said...

Shortly thereafter, House Republicans proposed a bill outlawing the use of the "Evil Eye". It fell one vote short of ratification in the senate. Arlen Spector hasn't blinked since the day of the vote.

Adjustah said...

"See, I do have the heart of a small child. Now how do I get it out of her?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes I do have a prick... his name is Bill."

Submariner said...

Who.Does.Number.Two.Work.For?

Submariner said...

Who.Does.al.Gore.Work.For?

Submariner said...

Ah, the Farce is strong in this young one. I can use him for my machinations of galactic conquest...