Tuesday, January 23, 2007

White Wine Goes With Savages

1. "Miss Hilton is currently nailing another client. Would you gentlemen like to wait at the bar until your number comes up?"

2. As part of a Christmas tradition, Robert Byrd invites his field hands into the Big House for chitlins and chablis.

3. M'bundi and !hosa celebrate the settlement they got from their suit against Geico's "So easy a half-naked African savage could do it" ad campaign.

4. Never again would the White House send out an invitation suggesting 'Casual Attire.'

5. "Another round? Why thank you, disembodied forearm."

6. "Let's see those crackers make fun of my outfit now!" sneered Nathaniel Abraham.

7. "No, gentlemen, your outfits are fine. Avalon Manor is a progressive establishment."

8. "We were supposed to be at the Prom with some hootchie named Dawn, but we skipped out."

9. "But of course, we didn't actually sell the Iraqis any yellowcake. More wine, Mr. Wilson?"

10. "Mr Sullivan, why does this wine taste like roophies?"

Best of Submariner
Yes, Mr. Wilson; 1999 was a VERY good year for elephant urine. More cake?

Best of Submariner
John F'n Kerry reminisces over a glass of fine colonial French chablis (none of that plebian domestic crap for me!); "I remember spending Christmas in Guiana - it's speared, SPEARED in my memory..."

Best of curly
Character actors break for refreshments at a book-signing event for Barney Frank’s latest, “It Takes Village People”.

Best of Occasional Reader
"How can ace be one AND eleven?! What kind of god would allow that?"

Best of andthenblammo!
Barack Obama was very disappointed in Naomi Wolf's campaign wardrobe recommendations.

Best of Jonathan
"I swear, M'butu, if you do that 'I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti' thing while we're here...!"

Best of nuts for tuna
As soon as Madonna and Angelina Jolie started with those Third-world adoptions, we all knew it would eventually lead to Donald Trump giving an entire Masai tribe the 'My Fair Lady' treatment.

Best of nuts for tuna
"It's champagne, yet the French won't let you legally call it that?! Am I the first to think the French are idiots?"

Best of Occasional Reader
"This is an amusing, saucy little Sauvignon Blanc, with hints of gooseberry and blackcurrant. It's a nice pairing to enjoy with your enemy's roasted testicles, and helps capture the feeling of 'devouring his soul and acquiring his powers'."

Best of Anonymous
"Bad Starvin' Marvin'! We don't drink the wine...we spit it out!!!"


HT: Brenda Walker
Source: Yahoo News

19 comments:

Submariner said...

Yes, Mr. Wilson; 1999 was a VERY good year for elephant urine. More cake?

Submariner said...

OK guys, I'll give a thumbs up to your costumes if you can promise me no 'wardrobe malfunctions.'
>wink< >wink<

NBC censors review the Superbowl Halftime Show plans.

Submariner said...

The DNC prepares to toast its 2007 takeover of the House with a tribute to the many 'main stream' factions that assisted in its return to power.

Submariner said...

The NYT gathers a focus group of 'typical red state voters' to discuss potential editorial policy changes...

Submariner said...

Andrew simpered; "Are those, like, doggy doors?"

Submariner said...

Main course tonight Mr. Wilson? Why 'long pork,' of course...

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING...
In a ploy to steal allegiance from the an obvious sector of the party, Hillary has some "color" displayed in the background as she announces her run for the White House. Also prominently displayed were darkly re-tinted posters for Disney's classic "Dumbo."
Republican strategists are reportedly overjoyed at what appears to be the opening salvo of a particularly nasty primary season...
Developing...

Submariner said...

John F'n Kerry reminisces over a glass of fine colonial French chablis (none of that plebian domestic crap for me!); "I remember spending Christmas in Guiana - it's speared, SPEARED in my memory..."

curly said...

“Of course you have ‘sticky eyes’. The arrows on our stomachs point to our crotches, as do the trap doors. “

“That’s right boys, drink up. You’re about 6 glasses shy of feeling amorous towards Cindy Sheehan.”

Character actors break for refreshments at a book-signing event for Barney Frank’s latest, “It Takes Village People”.

Occasional Reader said...

(Not-so-ORA)

"How can ace be one AND eleven?! What kind of god would allow that?"

andthenblammo! said...

Barack Obama was very disappointed in Naomi Wolf's campaign wardrobe recommendations. Fine for white wine and cheese parties in Malibu, but he still had the scars from the stop in Bridgeport.

Anonymous said...

"I swear, M'butu, if you do that 'I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti' thing while we're here...!"

Jack Reacher said...

We had to check our spears at the door, but that's cool. The pigs and cows have already been slaughtered here.

What did that Lindsay Lohan woman mean when she asked if our seashells were bulging, or were we just happy to see her?

nuts for tuna said...

As soon as Madonna and Angelina Jolie started with those Third-world adoptions, we all knew it would eventually lead to Donald Trump giving an entire Masai tribe the 'My Fair Lady' treatment.

"These glasses are much easier to hold than the human skulls we are used to sipping from."

"It's champagne, yet the French won't let you legally call it that?! Am I the first to think the French are idiots?"

Occasional Reader said...

"This is an amusing, saucy little Sauvignon Blanc, with hints of gooseberry and blackcurrant. It's a nice pairing to enjoy with your enemy's roasted testicles, and helps capture the feeling of 'devouring his soul and acquiring his powers'."

Anonymous said...

"Bad Starvin' Marvin'! We don't drink the wine...we spit it out!!!"

Kevin Walker said...

Then Robert Byrd jolted away from his nightmare.

sonicfrog said...

The guests for the Hillary fund raiser / mini-meal have arrived.

Submariner said...

Bill commented; "When Hillary said she had some experts coming in that were uniquely qualified to recommend the proper wine to go with pussy, I assumed..."