1. "Could be a lump. Who cares. Let's get wasted and bang some frenchmen."
2. "If it's Wednesday, we must be skanks."
3. "And the junior senator from New York reached over and copped a feel, just like this."
4. "Excuse me, Kansas, can I borrow a Kleenex?"
5. "Stop rubbing boogers on my chest, you skank!"
6. "Wouldn't you know, the Nimitz is in port and neither one of us can find her diaphragm. Thank Blackmun for Roe v. Wade."
7. "Yeah, saline's okay, but I still like the classic feel of silicone."
8. 'Ow to speak skank: Feminine Itching.
9. "Like I always said, you can't spell 'Kweefed' without 'K-Fed.'"
10. "Actually, this isn't nearly as gross as the time I was so wasted I mixed up my binging with my purging."
Best of divine miss m
"Have the correct change. Keep the line moving. Line forms to the left."
Best of Submariner
Nothin' to be seein' here folks; just a pair o' skanks playing "Where's Dildo." Please move along...
Best of Cybrludite
Remember when we would have qualified for Thursday on Cap This? Yeah, me neither.
Best of Submariner
Johnny Weir called. He'd like his gowns back...
Best of curly
"I was flashing a shaved beever shot to the paparazzi when this slid out of my vagina. What do you suppose it is?"
Best of jeff
"Hey Brit, you know those lesbo shots I lost off my Blackberry? I wanna go make some more..."
Best of Jack Reacher
"There's always a twenty minute wait for a table at Fridays. But if I do this, we'll be seated immediately. Trust me."
Best of Anonymous
Two boobs and four tits.
Best of lawhawk
Rich drunk and stupid is quite the ways to go through life, dontcha think?!
H/T: Discarded Lies
27 comments:
Sorry, Brit - feels like the bag's slipping south...
"Have the correct change. Keep the line moving. Line forms to the left."
VVORA:
♪♪"Down in the valley
where @#$%suckers go
These two give he@d
for a nickel a blow..♪♪
Nothin' to be seein' here folks; just a pair o' skanks playing "Where's Dildo." Please move along...
The papparacci hasn't been featuring you lately? No prob girlfriend;
first I grab and move your top a little, then let go and you pretend not to notice while they snap about a thousand shots. Worked for Tara Reid...
"Hold on Paris - I like you, but not like that."
ORA:
"Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny."
OK, babe; next I "double click your mouse..."
Remember when we would have qualified for Thursday on Cap This? Yeah, me neither.
Johnny Weir called. He'd like his gowns back...
Hey Brit, wanna play "Hide the Piccolo?"
Nope.
Definitely NOT "Dairy Queen."
Looks like Gay Pari to me.
"I was flashing a shaved beever shot to the paparazzi when this slid out of my vagina. What do you suppose it is?"
"Hey Brit, you know those lesbo shots I lost off my Blackberry? I wanna go make some more..."
Here's a shot that almost makes you feel sorry for Paris:
http://gawker.com/news/paris-hilton/paris-hilton-vs-zombie-buddy-holly-229096.php
hmmmmmm, can I interest you in a taco, Paris?
"They said twenty minute wait."
"There's always a twenty minute wait for a table at Fridays. But if I do this, we'll be seated immediately. Trust me."
"Cheer up, Britney, together we now account for almost 100 IQ points, and who knows how many crabs?"
Two boobs and four tits.
The papparazzi were in for a real treat when Britney's dress slipped open and Kuato slipped out.
"Now that you have everything you want, Britney, it's time to deliver on your part of the bargain..." The Devil wears many disguises.
Britney just wanted a string of beads like Paris'.
Oh Brit; you in green, me in red? It's like Christmas! Guess I gotta open my present...
>giggle<
>giggle<
Rich drunk and stupid is quite the ways to go through life, dontcha think?!
>blink< >blink<
I'm not drunk...
The breast cancer awareness people have sunk to a new low in choosing their spokeswomen.
Hey Brit, don't take it so hard. It's not like K-Fed was a good lay or anything; and I should know!
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