Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Someone's in the Kitchen with Freaky Bitch

1. "Um, no thanks. I'll just have some haggis."

2. "Munchies again, Mr. Kucinich?"

3. Soylent Brown is made out of stuff hippies scrape off themselves.

4. The Food Channel introduces "Cooking with Mary and Jane."

5. "Never mind why I have a tattoo of Abraham Lincoln on my upper arm."

6. Rainbow's first attempt at cupcakes resulted in four deaths and longtime psychotherapy for the survivors.

7. "Of course it's gooey. E-Z Bake ovens cook with a freakin' 25 watt bulb. "

8. "Still don't think Bush was behind 9-11? You will after you eat one of these."

9. "Um, I don't know If Ex-Lax is free from animal products. Why don't you eat this and find out?"

Best of ThatGayConservative
What's the street value of that cupcake?

Best of Rodney Dill
"Ooo look, an image of the prophet Mohammed."

Best of Double the U
Want to lick my cupcake?

Best of Anonymous
Oh stop it, it is just a little armpit hair.

Best of Van Helsing
"In this household, we recycle everything."

Best of Jack Reacher
"I'm getting this design tattooed on my other arm."

Best of Double the U
Two reasons why the all girl drive through vegan shop didn't do as well as the all girl drive through coffee shop.

Best of Submariner
It's our own special recipe. Takes quite a few chugs of Mazola to get it this runny...

Best of Submariner
She's the pirate, I'm just smelly. Wanna cupcake?

Best of prince of leaves
Hippie in Red: "You used up the commune's entire supply of chocolate syrup making cupcakes?!? What am I supposed to slather on my naked body during my performance art piece tonight?"

Best of prince of leaves
"No really, it's okay to eat it...I took my Valtrex this morning."

Best of attmay
"Um...yeah...it's chocolate. I mean, it's brown, isn't it?", said the waitress as she tried to suppress her giggling.

Best of curly
“Here’s your snack sweetie, just the way you like it: baked by Mommy and served by Daddy.”

Best of curly
“…if you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck eating her snack.”

Best of curly
“Following our attempt at artificial insemination, we had some leftover man-junk in the turkey baster, so we thought ‘why not bake a cupcake’?”


HT: Stormi @ Discarded Lies
Source: Strict Vegan Ethics (WEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOOOO-WEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOO)

34 comments:

ThatGayConservative said...

What's the street value of that cupcake?

ThatGayConservative said...

"Feeling irregular? Try one of these!"

"It's our diversity Obama-cakes! Think he'll like 'em?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Ooo look, an image of the prophet Mohammed."

Double the U said...

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but good mental and physical hygiene is also very important.

Double the U said...

Want to lick my cupcake?

Anonymous said...

Oh stop it, it is just a little armpit hair.

Van Helsing said...

"In this household, we recycle everything."

Jason said...

Poop for peace!

jeff said...

"No trans-fats. Just human fat."

Jack Reacher said...

"I told you. There are no worms in my stool. Now I can stop taking those stupid pills."

"I'm getting this design tattooed on my other arm."

Hippy cupcakes are filled with special sauce.

David Simon said...

"Hello,is John home?" "We don't have a John here." "Then what do you shit in, a dixie cup?...yecch, you hippy chicks are gross" "Nice work, Moonbeam. I have a feeling that little delinquent won't be pulling any more pranks on us."

Rodney Dill said...

"Could I get some more cream on mine President Clinton?"

Double the U said...

Two reasons why the all girl drive through vegan shop didn't do as well as the all girl drive through coffee shop.

Rachel said...

not to put a damper on the fun (I loove "Caption This") but the chick seems kinda cool...
now back to the jokes

Submariner said...

Here you go Sen. Kerry. Specially made for TeRAYza just the way you proscribed. I, uh, wouldn't let the icing touch anything in your SUV...

Submariner said...

It's our own special recipe. Takes quite a few chugs of Mazola to get it this runny...

Submariner said...

She's the pirate, I'm just smelly. Wanna cupcake?

Submariner said...

Meanwhile, things were beginning to heat up in the Avalon Manor kitchen...

Double the U said...

"I'm not going to eat it, you eat it."
"Well I am not going to eat it, you eat it."
"I am sure as hell am not going to eat it, you... oh your talking about the cupcake?"

prince of leaves said...

Hippie in Red: "You used up the commune's entire supply of chocolate syrup making cupcakes?!? What am I supposed to slather on my naked body during my performance art piece tonight?"

prince of leaves said...

"No really, it's okay to eat it...I took my Valtrex this morning."

prince of leaves said...

Palm reader in background: "The good news is, you'll become world famous as a cook. The bad news is, you're this generation's reincarnation of Mary Mallon..."

prince of leaves said...

Rainbow was later sued by Wilford Brimley for unauthorized use of his likeness.

attmay said...

"Um...yeah...it's chocolate. I mean, it's brown, isn't it?", said the waitress as she tried to suppress her giggling.

Kaptain said...

Sully couldn't quite decide if this was a dream or a nightmare.

(since nobody was running with any Sullivan themes)

Just a pause here to agree with rachel. I think the dirty smelly hippy (but I repeat myself) in the foreground is rather cool. And by cool, I mean hot. Which is cool.

curly said...

“We used alternative energy to bake it; we ‘queefed’ it.”

Prison life really did a number on Martha Stewart.

curly said...

Naomi’s Pierced Pastries, Air America’s only paying sponsor, was forced to find other advertising venues following the bankruptsy of the liberal radio show.

curly said...

“We baked these for Bush’s evil troops in Iraq. Instead of IED’s, we stuffed them with IUD’s.”

“Here’s your snack sweetie, just the way you like it: baked by Mommy and served by Daddy.”

Submariner said...

I found this under where that bat-chick was perched...

prince of leaves said...

kaptain/rachel: I dunno -- I look at her and all I can see is her sister. (Warning! Highly disturbing image!)

culry said...

Maybe the Moslems are on to something with this whole burka thing...

curly said...

“…if you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck eating her snack.”

word verification: snnrml...As in "iSN't NoRMaL".

curly said...

“We call it our Hillary Clinton Cupcake: half-baked, appealing to the uninitiated, gritty, gooey, unwholesome, and pure junk.”

curly said...

“Following our attempt at artificial insemination, we had some leftover man-junk in the turkey baster, so we thought ‘why not bake a cupcake’?”