Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Scenes from a SOTU

1. "Ow, stop kicking me! Ow! I know that's you, Hillary. Ow! Quit it!"

2. Knowing that Massachusetts voters don't give a damn, Ted Kennedy takes a hit off his crackpipe.

3. "Why are we seated in the Zionist section?"

4. "These aren't pearls. They're the testicles of reporters who asked me tough questions, and a couple of ovaries."

5. "First Ted asked "is it okay if I sit next to you, Osama," and now, every time the camera pans away Hill spits on the back of my head. I should have run as a Republican."

Best of Silhouette
I'll take the alcoholic swimmer to block.

Best of Submariner
Two-Ton Teddy; "Hey Obama - look what I got out of my nose!"

Best of Van Helsing
"…heh heh heh… Bill's advice to eat sauerkraut and burritos for supper is paying off. Now I'll really let one rip and see if I can wake up Osama Obama and Ted."

Best of Capt. Queeg
Sen. Hillary Clinton(D-NY) at the State of the Union address last night. Below, Sens. Barack Osama(D-IL) and Ted Kennedy(D-MA) contemplate a picture of Saddam Hussein and Richard Pryor choking the crap out of Ugli Betty.

Best of Rodney Dill
(thinking) "Thank gawd for Mr. Ben Wa"

Best of Rodney Dill
Why is that little red dot bouncing around on Hillary's forehead.

Best of Cybrludite
Hillary's though bubble: Glad no one noticed me kick-starting my vibrator.

Best of curly
The Democratic-controlled Senate is the epitome of diversity: a ‘Halfrican’-American, a Lesbian-American, and Substance-abuse/Mentally-retarded/Marxist-communist/Women-drowning-American.

Best of curly
Watching the power presented by the President always gave Hillary a raging woody.

Best of Submariner
Hillary! That had BETTER be your toe, and you had BETTER get it the hell away from my behind!

Best of prince of leaves
Kennedy thought bubble: What's this trapped between my fluffy-fat belly rolls? Mmm...fruitcake. Hey wait...the last time I had fruitcake was one Mom made...

Best of prince of leaves
Hillary thought bubble: Is...is Nancy winking at me? Why, she is! And there she goes again! And again! If I didn't know better, I'd think she was looking for a private "conference committee" after Chimpy up there is done yammering...


Hat Tip: Sondra K

29 comments:

Submariner said...

"Yeah, I'm PW; what of it?"



For extra Cap This! credit, which one said it?

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; (When I'm bored I just think of Osama Obama in his cute little spear-chucker outfit with the shell-flap and I can't help but smile. THAT is my "happy place" Katie...)

Submariner said...

Two-Ton Teddy; "Hey Obama - look what I got out of my nose!"

Submariner said...

Obama thought bubble (Not polite to notice queefs... Not polite to Notice queefs... Da-a-a-a-amn... NOT polite to NOTICE queefs...)

Submariner said...

...and now back to MSNBC's analyst; Bill Clinton:
"Let me ask you America - did you notice Hillary's pearl necklace? Well I gave it to her. 'Course, it's the ONLY 'pearl necklace' she's let me give her since Arkansas...

Van Helsing said...

"…heh heh heh… Bill's advice to eat sauerkraut and burritos for supper is paying off. Now I'll really let one rip and see if I can wake up Osama Obama and Ted."

Capt. Queeg said...

Sen. Hillary Clinton(D-NY) at the State of the Union address last night. Below, Sens. Barack Osama(D-IL) and Ted Kennedy(D-MA) contemplate a picture of Saddam Hussein and Richard Pryor choking the crap out of Ugli Betty.

Anonymous said...

Hillary: Damnit. I can't wait for that camera to go dark so I can slap Obama and Teddy upside the head to wake 'em up. Then again, if they both look like they're sleeping, I get to be more Presidential. Okay, but I must surpress the smirk. Let me think about Bill. No. wait. That wont work. Damnit!

Anonymous said...

Hillary: Must be in the front row...

Clowns to the right, Jokers to the left, and Teddy's bogarting all the Chivas Regal. I'm stuck in the middle.

sonicfrog said...

Hillary's REAL thought bubble!

"... take the Presidency from me? I'll show you, you uppity f**king nigg...."

PS. Just had to go there!

sonicfrog said...

Is that the Star of David embossed on the seats? Hmmm, didn't know Hill and Teddy and Obama were Jewish.

Is that the Star of David embossed on the seats? Hmmm, I guess the Jews really do control the U.S. government.

Is that the Star of David embossed on the seats? Hmmm, well, given how boring some of the speeches are, I guess you could call this a gas chamber....

Anonymous said...

Thought bubble: will that honky mofo ever shut up?

Silhouette said...

I'll take the alcoholic swimmer to block.

attmay said...

Naptime in the Senate was always an interesting sight; while senators Obama and Kennedy are heavy sleepers, Senator Clinton tends to look dazed from the NyQuil.

Rodney Dill said...

(thinking) "Thank gawd for Mr. Ben Wa"

Rodney Dill said...

112 is not just an age, its an attitude.

Rodney Dill said...

oops wrong post

Rodney Dill said...

Why is that little red dot bouncing around on Hillary's forehead.

Submariner said...

♪I don't know what they have to say,♪
♪It makes no difference anyway.♪
♪Whatever it is, I'm against it.♪ ♪No matter what it is or who commenced it, I'm against it!♪
♪Your proposition may be good but let's have one thing understood:♪
♪Whatever it is, I'm against it.♪
♪And even when you've changed it or condensed it, I'm against it!♪

Submariner said...

previous v word - yacof - too funny but post had gotten too long to append

Cybrludite said...

Hillary's though bubble: Glad no one noticed me kick-starting my vibrator.

curly said...

“That will be me up there in the limelight after my huge win in ’08.”

“Say what you will about Bushhitler, his wife Laura does have an impressive rack on her.”

“Great…Here I am in the Jewish section, surrounded by closeted Muslims and alcoholic losers. I just can’t wait to read the caps on this.”

“It’s always great to be away from Bill, even if while listening to a GOP SOTU and Ted’s constant belching.”

“It may ‘Take a village’, but right now I wish I had some of Obama’s cocaine.”

curly said...

The Democratic-controlled Senate is the epitome of diversity: a ‘Halfrican’-American, a Lesbian-American, and Substance-abuse/Mentally-retarded/Marxist-communist/Women-drowning-American.

curly said...

The combined testosterone levels of the male-dominated Senate still paled in comparison to Hillary’s own scrotum secreted pheromones.

Watching the power presented by the President always gave Hillary a raging woody.

Submariner said...

Hillary! That had BETTER be your toe, and you had BETTER get it the hell away from my behind!

prince of leaves said...

Obama's thought bubble: Oww...pain...in back...feels like daggers...owwwww

prince of leaves said...

Kennedy thought bubble: What's this trapped between my fluffy-fat belly rolls? Mmm...fruitcake. Hey wait...the last time I had fruitcake was one Mom made...

prince of leaves said...

Hillary thought bubble: Is...is Nancy winking at me? Why, she is! And there she goes again! And again! If I didn't know better, I'd think she was looking for a private "conference committee" after Chimpy up there is done yammering...

nevergrewup said...

Only the janitor, who had to return her to the cloakroom, knew that the Hillary Mannequin was not really Mrs. Clinton.