Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Say "High" to Tracy and E.J.


1. "Some smelly hippie gave us a cupcake. Three weeks later, we woke up here, wherever here is."

2. "Neither one of us has a purty mouth. I think we're safe."

3. "That was awesome. Let's hack up another hitch-hiker and bury her over there."

4. "When you're lost in the woods, you start to get hungry for meat ... any kind of meat ... mmm, meat..."

5. "Wasn't the rest of the coven supposed to be here by now?"

6. If a dyke queefs in the woods, and there's no one around to hear it ...

7. "Enumclaw is for amateurs," they said, smearing themselves with Grizzly bear hormones.

8. Performers of Erotic Catfights at Lumber Camps since 1903.

9. Later, the eco-moonbats tried to make friends with the woodland forest creatures. They were dead of rabies with a week.

10. "Hey, you know what? After a few of these mushrooms, you start to resemble a gender."

Best of Occasional Reader
"You know, dearie, just last week I was checking out this sweet M-4 carbine with a bifocal Aimpoint over at the senior center. And now, I've found the perfect site for the compound. Is this synchronicity, or what?"

Best of Double the U
I am not sure what he or she is, it has been so long since I gave birth to it I can't remember, but whatever it is, it sure is tall.

Best of Jack Reacher
"And then one day, while shootin' at some food..."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yup, perfect spot for a Walmart."

Best of prince of leaves
An instant later, the pair were accidentally beheaded by a Stormtrooper zipping past on a 74-Z speeder bike.

Best of prince of leaves
"I only hugged a tree once, but that's all it took. Nine months later, *this* popped out..."

Best of attmay
The San Francisco Womyn's Theater Project version of "Robin Hood" was the least well-received to date.

Best of curly
David Bowie and Yoko Ono endorse GrapeNuts cerial.

Best of Rodney Dill
The little dutch boy was only trying to save the village once again, but given the 20,000 acre forest he was never seen again.

Best of Submariner
Little Known Hollywood Trivia: Dolph Lundgren's mom originated the line "I will break you."
--- Leonard Maltin

Best of curly
The Androgynous Strain.

Best of Submariner
Worried about 'bigfoot' attacks? Laws, no - those sightings are just when Maude here gets spotted on her occasional jaunts to the L'il Champ for coffee.

Best of Jason
The last time I was surrounded by this much wood was in college.



Courtesy: Sondra K
Original Source: Left here

24 comments:

Capt. Queeg said...

We're sorry, um, "ladies", but Mrs. Clinton prefers her interns to be a little bit more femme. Besides, the interviews aren't 'til tomorrow...

Occasional Reader said...

"You know, dearie, just last week I was checking out this sweet M-4 carbine with a bifocal Aimpoint over at the senior center. And now, I've found the perfect site for the compound. Is this synchronicity, or what?"

Double the U said...

I am not sure what he or she is, it has been so long since I gave birth to it I can't remember, but whatever it is, it sure is tall.

Jack Reacher said...

Preview of a new Subaru Wagon advertising campaign.

Jack Reacher said...

"And then one day, while shootin' at some food..."

Jack Reacher said...

"And now we wait. When Ned Beatty paddles by here, he's gonna have his hands full."

Rodney Dill said...

"Yup, perfect spot for a Walmart."

prince of leaves said...

The real-life inspiration for the Andy McDowell and Mary Stuart Masterson characters in "Bad Girls" weren't quite as glamorous...or hot.

prince of leaves said...

An instant later, the pair were accidentally beheaded by a Stormtrooper zipping past on a 74-Z speeder bike.

prince of leaves said...

"I only hugged a tree once, but that's all it took. Nine months later, *this* popped out..."

attmay said...

The San Francisco Womyn's Theater Project version of "Robin Hood" was the least well-received to date.

curly said...

David Bowie and Yoko Ono endorse GrapeNuts cerial.

Kaptain said...

Boy, I've heard of the bull of the woods, but...

ThatGayConservative said...

"I can finally afford to by that lakehouse I've always wanted and run around naked all day! HAHA! Dangly parts."

(orig. Phil Ken Sebben)

Rodney Dill said...

The little dutch boy was only trying to save the village once again by putting his finger in the dike, but given the 20,000 acre forest he was never seen again.

curly said...

“We’re here on a university grant to verify that a bear will indeed sh!t in the woods.”

The “Dikes on Hikes” organization never quite saw the fame that “Dikes on Bikes” did.

Submariner said...

Little Known Hollywood Trivia:
Dolph Lundgren's mom originated the line "I will break you."
Leonard Maltin

Submariner said...

Well, Mike, all I'm sayin' is that ever since the coven moved in, Maude and I been noticin' things... Like hot-lookin,' bat-winged, red-lace-wearin,' bosomy...
babes...
would you excuse us?

Submariner said...

ORA:

♪The bluest thighs you'll ever see are in Seattle...♪

curly said...

The Androgynous Strain.

Submariner said...

Worried about 'bigfoot' attacks? Laws, no - those sightings are just when Maude here gets spotted on her occasional jaunts to the L'il Champ for coffee.

Jason said...

The last time I was surrounded by this much wood was in college.

Jason said...

Peter Pan and Wendy, the later years.

Rodney Dill said...

Just as soon as Tyra Banks pronounced, "you can kiss my fat ass," the line started forming.