Thursday, January 25, 2007

Only Hoors Drive Purple Cars


1. If Starbuck can get a sex-change, why not Michael and KITT?

2. Oh, Look. A whore!

3. What Hillary was really thinking about, and why she was smiling, during the SOTU.

4. "You may inform Senator Clinton that her car and chauffeur have arrived."

5. Another CapThis! first: The Sullivan-proof caption.

6. "Officer, I was only going 120. Can't we find another way to... work... this... out?"

7. Knuckling under to CAIR, the producers of 24 announce that all future terrorists will be hot blonds with big knockers who drive fast cars wearing nothing but bikinis. Ratings for seasons 7 - 10 set records, but hot blond chicks report problems boarding aircraft, and are subject to "random" strip searches.

8. How could this get better, you ask? "I got beer in the trunk."

9. "My name's Divine Miss M, you must be Racerboy."

10. 'Ow to speak Australian: "Hood ornament."

Best of curly
I just won the $240M Powerball Lottery, this is my girlfriend and my car; I'm hung like Sadam Hussien and I write the funniest caps.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Make sure to specify you're talking about the car:

"I get much joy from sticking in the nozzle and fillin' her up."

"We've actually managed to cram 3 guys into her at a time."

"Why not take her for a spin? Everyone else has." Courtesy of Drew Carey's Who's Line Is It?

"I've ridden her hard. She takes the turns great."

Best of curly
Word verification givzqb...I don't know what a 'qb' is, but I'll take one if she's giving 'em.

Best of Zeke
Sullivan's chauffeur loved her job but hated when he borrowed her shoes.

Best of curly
When much younger, Andrew Sullivan’s father would try to rehabilitate his obvious faggishness by forcing him to look at pictures like these and he would always take refuge in a mental ‘safe spot’ where he would dream of aborigine testicles on the half-shell at a Chablis tasting party.

Best of Anonymous
On to the next round of the "Guess what has more plastic in it" game...

Best of Submariner
Free Press Puzzle Page: There are 43 man-made materials in this photo. Her hair color is our "gimme" to get you started.


HT: RIP Ford @ Discarded Lies

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I must be getting old, I wondered how much on her was original equipment.

sonicfrog said...

♫ Who's gonna hold you down
When you shake?
Who's gonna come around
When you break?

You can't go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive IT home, tonight? ♫

racerboy said...

Sully-proof cap/this my A$$!!!

"Wow, those rims are almost as big as my... - but even shinier!"

...and to round out the contribution, Johnny Weir's thoughts right now:
"I don't know which is worse, those silly, over-compensating chrome wheels or that ghastly airbrush job... at least that slut has enough taste to stick with basic black - you can never go wrong with black, you know..."

Submariner said...

This is EXACTLY what my prom date memories have morphed to over the years... 'ceptin the back seat looks more like a van.

Submariner said...

Hollywood trial titles that didn't quite make it #317:

Who's Gilbert Grape Eating?

Submariner said...

D@mn! Did ya'll notice there's a car in this photo?

Submariner said...

I don't seem to remember the Viper morphing into this configuration, but that sure looks like snakeskin...

Submariner said...

"OK, Kimberly, you've passed this portion of the interview. Now to see if you've REALLY got what it takes to be a "Price Is Right" model - the orals..."
>zi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ip!<

curly said...

I just won the $240M Powerball Lottery, this is my girlfriend and my car; I'm hung like Sadam Hussien and I write the funniest caps.

Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Sullivan!

I drove a Chevy work truck and my wife looks like Hillary's ugly twin sister and now you throw this in my face.

Seens from "Hitchhikers Guide to Gallery".

Son Of The Godfather said...

SOTG wonders how his browser is always somehow redirected to this site every Thursday.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If ever asked to describe "beer goggles" to someone, show them the picture below this one as "before".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Make sure to specify you're talking about the car:

"I get much joy from sticking in the nozzle and fillin' her up."

"We've actually managed to cram 3 guys into her at a time."

"Why not take her for a spin? Everyone else has." Courtesy of Drew Carey's Who's Line Is It?

"I've ridden her hard. She takes the turns great."

curly said...

Definitely not cherry, but has nice curves, a high performance rear and the rim jobs can't be beat.

Word verification givzqb...I don't know what a 'qb' is, but I'll take one if she's giving 'em.

Submariner said...

"She guzzles a bit, but what a GREAT ride!"

divine miss m said...

...I slam in the back of my Dragula!

Zeke said...

Sullivan's chauffeur loved her job but hated when he borrowed her shoes.

curly said...

When much younger, Andrew Sullivan’s father would try to rehabilitate his obvious faggishness by forcing him to look at pictures like these and he would always take refuge in a mental ‘safe spot’ where he would dream of aborigine testicles on the half-shell at a Chablis tasting party.

Anonymous said...

On to the next round of the "Guess what has more plastic in it" game...

Submariner said...

Free Press Puzzle Page:

There are 43 man-made materials in this photo. Her hair color is our "gimme" to get you started.

prince of leaves said...

The silicone face rests were optional equipment with this model's trim package.

prince of leaves said...

That reminds me...I've got some waxing to do...