Monday, January 15, 2007

Never Let Them See You Rub Your Snotrag on Your Forehead


1. ORA - "Chancho, when you're a man, you rub boogers on your forehead sometimes. It's for fun."

2. "High fever is just one symptom of Ditch Witch Crotch Rot. Next, it starts to burn when you pee."

3. "I know, watching those strapping, shirtless 'Chavez Youth' boys march in the hot tropical sun just gives me the vapors."

4. "Yeah, there's goes Pol Pot, and Mao, and Stalin. See, comrade, Hell isn't so bad."

5. "Madre de Dios! Who knew Dick Cheney had heat vision?"

6. "I know, comrade. Ahmedinejihad's 'Nuke America' rhetoric gets me all hot and bothered too."

7. "It's hot out here. Let's take off our shirts and make love."

8. "Si, the stench from Comrade Sheehan's armpits is eye-watering."

Best of jeff
"Ah, you used the wrong hand! Now we won't take gold in the Synchronized Wiping event!"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Man, I never thought the dictator edition of Wheel of Fortune would be so difficult."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yes, yes, those compromising photo's with Mr. Cool Ice have been destroyed."

Best of Silhouette
"Imbecile! I'm Carnac the Magnificent. You're Ed MaMahon. Someone hand me my revolver."

Best of prince of leaves
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!

Best of prince of leaves
Somewhere, in a parallel universe blessed with greater fortune than ours, Hugo Chavez nurses a JFK headache.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I'm just saying, if you weren't wearing that ridiculous sash, you wouldn't be so hot."
"Oh, so I should take it off, and let you, Mister I'm Covered With Medals, upstage me? I don't think so. Be careful, or I'll nationalize your a**."

Best of curly
Hugo’s 27th Generalissimo has learned what the previous 26 generalissimos did not: when Herr Hugo wipes his head due to the heat, EVERYONE wipes their head because of the heat. Herr Hugo IS NOT a sissy!

Best of Mr. Right
The final scene from Mission Impossible IV left audiences perplexed when Hugo and his lead henchman were revealed to be Pee-Wee Herman and Carrot Top in disguise.

Best of Mr. Right
ORA "General, have your men seize Señor Keith Hernandez at once! He is the only one who could have possibly hocked such a magic loogey!"

Best of divine miss m
The sight of Hillary's ass...unfit for the eyes of men.

Best of lawhawk
Will Raul just get on with it and declare Fidel dead already? If the stench of death is unbearable in Caracas, imagine how bad it is in Havana.


HT: AM Mora y Leon

20 comments:

jeff said...

"Ah, you used the wrong hand! Now we won't take gold in the Synchronized Wiping event!"

jeff said...

"Man, it's hot here..."
"Yes, perhaps Venezuela truly is hell."

Rodney Dill said...

"Man, I never thought the dictator edition of Wheel of Fortune would be so difficult."

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes, yes, those compromising photo's with Mr. Cool Ice have been destroyed."

Silhouette said...

"Imbecile! I'm Carnac the Magnificent. You're Ed MaMahon. Someone hand me my revolver."

prince of leaves said...

Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!
Socialist Tyranny: Apply directly to forehead!

prince of leaves said...

Somewhere, in a parallel universe blessed with greater fortune than ours, Hugo Chavez nurses a JFK headache.

Jack Reacher said...

Listen; you can hear the sweat shop where the handkerchief was made!

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm just saying, if you weren't wearing that ridiculous sash, you wouldn't be so hot."
"Oh, so I should take it off, and let you, Mister I'm Covered With Medals, upstage me? I don't think so. Be careful, or I'll nationalize your a**."

Jack Reacher said...

What are the odds, Comrade? Two pigeons!!

Ted said...

VtheK: All these caps were hilarious! Thanks for the daily laughs!

curly said...

Now that they're all big shots, Hugo and his entourage can no longer wear tin foil hats in public; however, discreetly wiping your forehead with a piece of foil hidden in your handkerchief helps.

Hugo’s 27th Generalissimo has learned what the previous 26 generalissimos did not: when Herr Hugo wipes his head due to the heat, EVERYONE wipes their head because of the heat. Herr Hugo IS NOT a sissy!

“That’s right, Generalissimo! Always keep a white flag nearby…You never know when the evil American gringo pigs will find their huavos and want to kick our asses!”

Mr. Right said...

The final scene from Mission Impossible IV left audiences perplexed when Hugo and his lead henchman were revealed to be Pee-Wee Herman and Carrot Top in disguise.

Mr. Right said...

"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!"

Mr. Right said...

ORA "General, have your men seize Señor Keith Hernandez at once! He is the only one who could have possibly hocked such a magic loogey!"

Mr. Right said...

"I know it's colder than a witch's tit today, but Señor Gore is counting on us to make him look good during his global warming presentation, so you must keep wiping, Excellency!"

Mr. Right said...

"Trust me, Excellency, those were mere warning shots that grazed our foreheads! If Jack Bauer had meant for us to be dead, we most surely would be!"

Van Helsing said...

The gifted seagull managed to hit both of them in one squirt.

divine miss m said...

The sight of Hillary's ass...unfit for the eyes of men.

Anonymous said...

Will Raul just get on with it and declare Fidel dead already? If the stench of death is unbearable in Caracas, imagine how bad it is in Havana.