Saturday, January 27, 2007
Logs, Wood... It's a Target Rich Environment
1. "Yes, daddy's little bull dyke looks cute in her flannel shirt."
2. "I already told you sweetheart, we have to use the old tools because there's a hooker in the woodchipper."
3. On Monday, her teacher would ask, "What did you do this weekend?" She said, "I gave daddy wood." By Tuesday, she was in a foster home.
4. "Well, honey, you've dressed in nothing but flannel since you were three and you'd rather chop wood than play with dolls, so it's not surprising you want Hillary to be president."
5. "Because it's written in Exodus, 'Thou Shalt Not Suffer a Witch to Live,' or, in your sister's case, a Vegan. Just help me with this kindling, okay?"
6. "But, daddy, I don't wanna be a moehl
Best of curly
“That’s right honey: straight into the fire with them, just like your two-timing mother on judgment day.”
Best of 2spotlefty
Just as I taught your brother Habib,allah rest his soul,so to shall you learn the great muslim art of separating the infidels' head from its body.Now,just pretend that this log is a screaming monkey jew pleading for mercy...
Best of prince of leaves
Lumberjack Ed never knew what hit him when the cloaked Predator ripped out his still-squirming spine.
Best of curly
“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, because I’d chuck his infidel head off, lickedy split.”
Best of attmay
I didn't want to be a 5th grader. I wanted to be...A LUMBERJACK!
Best of Submariner
Uncle Al? Dad said I could only help you until you broke out the Binford T2000 "personal massager..."
Best of Rodney Dill
"Gee I wish I could pinch a log like you dad."
Filed Under: Saturday Americana