Monday, January 22, 2007

Kissing Hands and Shaking Babies


1. Hillary: "No Thanks, I already ate."

2. Hillary: “OK, Now, I see the resemblance to Bill. How much to make this little problem go away?”

3. Hillary: “I see my little organ bank is coming along nicely. Thanks, Missouri voters.”

4. Hillary: “All right, Damon Wayans, I admit I slept with you, but only because I thought you were Sinead O’Connor. I still don’t see how this kid could be mine.”

5. Hillary: “She’s a little femme for my tastes, but what the hell.”

6. Hillary: “So, when you see the mean black senator from Illinois, what do you yell?” Little girl: “That’s the bad man who touched me!”

7. Little girl: (thinking) “Holy cow, her knuckles are even hairier than Rosie O’Donnell’s.”

8. Little Girl: “Really?? You live in a real live gingerbread house?”

9. Little Girl: “Hey, I knows those three numbers on your hand! They’re sixes! I learneded it in Head Start!”

10. Damon Wayans: “It’s called a ‘child’ Mrs Clinton. It’s how humans reproduce in this Realm. If you keep calling them ‘spawn,’ people may get suspicious.”

Best of curly
"That's right honey. Always extend your left hand when meeting Evil Incarnate."

Best of curly
"No honey, just pull one finger."

Best of Submariner
"So if you work hard and keep at your studies, you too can go 'shopping' at Old Navy with Dawn when your hovel floods out."

Best of Submariner
Sorry Nate; even I can't vote for retro-active abortion. Go see Speaker Pelosi.

Best of Submariner
...and then Hillary asked for a wipe and blamed it on her new "Monk" obsession...

Best of Van Helsing
"Nice find, Damon. The Master will be pleased with this blood sacrifice."

Best of curly
"No sweetie; I wrote 'It Takes a Village'. Obama was the one who wrote 'It Takes a Madrassa'."

Best of Jack Reacher
"You have an imaginary friend? I have an imaginary marriage!"

Best of Submariner
Aren't you sweet and photogenic! I have a couple of Hollywood friends looking for a child just your shade...

Best of Jonathan
Nice. Making fun of a Hillary Clinton & Charles Barkley lovechild. Read their story. Educate yourselves. Morons.

Best of Submariner
Tamika looked up and said, "Daddy? Why'd that lady give me her phone number?"

Hat Tip: DivM

19 comments:

curly said...

"Aren't you the cutest little repository of youthful stem cells that I ever saw!"

"Apparently Dad here isn't in sync with my position on abortion."


"That's right honey. Always extend your left hand when meeting Evil Incarnate."

"No honey, just pull one finger."

Submariner said...

I am just so d@mn PLEASED to meet you, Tamika; you'll be paying Bill and my Social Security wages for the rest of your life...

Submariner said...

If MY health plan had been passed, you wouldn't have had to pay those horrendous pregnancy-related bills, Nate. You'd have aborted her lo-o-o-o-ong before then.

Submariner said...

"...and some of my best friends are your kind. Take Vince Foster for instance... uh, bad example..."

Submariner said...

"So if you work hard and keep at your studies, you too can go 'shopping' at Old Navy with Dawn when your hovel floods out."

jeff said...

"And just think dear, in Illinois you can vote for me in the next election!"

Submariner said...

Hillary? Your prom date is here! Oh; I see you've already met...

Submariner said...

Sorry Nate; even I can't vote for retro-active abortion. Go see Speaker Pelosi.

Submariner said...

...and then Hillary asked for a wipe and blaimed it on her new "Monk" obsession...

Van Helsing said...

"Nice find, Damon. The Master will be pleased with this blood sacrifice."

curly said...

"No sweetie; I wrote 'It Takes a Village'. Obama was the one who wrote 'It Takes a Madrassa'."

"Daddy says that since Bill was the first black president, you is the ho in da White House."

Jack Reacher said...

"I'll let go of your hand, Sweetie, as soon as I get that campaign contribution check. NOW!"

"You have an imaginary friend? I have an imaginary marriage!"

Submariner said...

Aren't you sweet and photogenic! I have a couple of Hollywood friends looking for a child just your shade...

sonicfrog said...

Oh, I see you brought dinner.

Submariner said...

Don't know 'bout the rest of you, but that grin reminds me of the Alien just before the extendible mouth shot out at the victim. I'm just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Nice. Making fun of a Hillary Clinton & Charles Barkley lovechild. Read their story. Educate yourselves. Morons.

Anonymous said...

"Honey, I ain't part of your village. Raise yourself."

nevergrewup said...

"Daddy, is she dead? Her hand is colder than my goldfish was when he died."

Submariner said...

Tamika looked up and said, "Daddy? Why'd that lady give me her phone number?"