Monday, January 29, 2007

Jabba The Hutt Gets Angry

1. "BALLS!" --- CJ

2. Louie Anderson was pissed at coming in second at the Janet Reno lookalike contest.

3. "Where the hell are those Asian chicks with my hot dogs?"

4. "Grab your partner, do-si-do, promenade and don't be slow ..."

5. "Oh, Susanna, oh don't you cry for me..."

6. Rosie O'Donnell launches another tirade, next on The View

7. "But what about my needs?" Lesbian marriage counseling, a growth industry for the next decade.

8. "It's funny because fish don't need bicycles. Laugh, damn you!" Audience reaction to the First Feminist Comedy Jam pretty much guaranteed there would be a Second Feminist Comedy Jam."

9. ORA "Isn't Despair support to be naked and Death supposed to be Hot?" Purists didn't care for Hollywood's treatment of Neil Gaiman's Sandman.

10. "Ooooh! This one won't be silent, but it will be deadly!"

Best of Kevin Walker
"MY BAR GRAPHS MY BUSINESS!"

Best of prince of leaves
"Governor and Geico customer Kathleen Blanco recently suffered a catastrophic homeowner's insurance event...since she's not a professional spokesperson, we've hired Billy Mays to speak for her..."

Best of prince of leaves
Blanco thought bubble: "'Bout time...I was wondering when that crawfish that crawled up his pantleg was going to make it to his junk..."

Best of curly
"We could not deploy the school buses because the there’s only so much room on the back of these buses for the people of color, you racist pig!”

Best of Rodney Dill
"...AND I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!"

Best of curly
“Thanks to Bush’s mishandling of the Hurricane Katrina catastrophe, all of the whores that used to work Bourbon Street were forced to move to Houston; subsequently, I haven’t had sex in almost two years!”

Best of WALSTIB
She: "Waiter, on second thought, don't bring me what he's having."

Best of Jay Guevara
"Boy, he never saw that wedgie coming..."

Best of attmay
♪ AND IIIIIIIIIII-E-YIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU-U-U-U-U ♪

Best of Double the U
I am woman, hear me *ROAR!!*

Best of Jason
Rosie O'Donnell shows us her "war face."

Best of Jason
SOTG reacts to his daughter's prom date

Best of Kevin Walker
"WHERE ARE MY TWINKIES!" ----- Michael Moore, the early years.



Again: Sondra K
And from: Yahoo News/AssPress Photo/Bill Haber

37 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Scientology became a lot more interesting after its head started channeling Sam Kinison.

Van Helsing said...

"And we want even more federal money for New Orleans, and if we don't get it we're going to scream and cry at the top of our lungs until nobody can stand it anymore."

Kevin Walker said...

"MY BAR GRAPHS MY BUSINESS!"

prince of leaves said...

"Governor and Geico customer Kathleen Blanco recently suffered a catastrophic homeowner's insurance event...since she's not a professional spokesperson, we've hired Billy Mays to speak for her..."

prince of leaves said...

Blanco's thought bubble: "She gets so passionate when she rants about dikes...probably a closet case..."

prince of leaves said...

Blanco thought bubble: "Yet another guy I'd rather not see in buttless chaps on Bourbon Street."

prince of leaves said...

"...and then the guy says: 'You gots yo shoes on Bourbon Street!' Aaaarrrgggghhhh! They get five bucks out of me EVERY DAMN TIME!"

prince of leaves said...

"We at the Large People's Alliance DEMAND an end to the use of the derogatory and humiliating term 'Fat Tuesday'!!!!!!!!!!!!"

prince of leaves said...

Blanco thought bubble: "'Bout time...I was wondering when that crawfish that crawled up his pantleg was going to make it to his junk..."

curly said...

“We could not deploy the school buses because the there’s only so much room on the back of these buses for the people of color, you racist pig!”

Jack Reacher said...

I am appalled, I tell you, that Bourbon Street bars are selling a drink called "hurricane." How long has that been going on?

Jack Reacher said...

I don't care if the woman next to me looks like Roseanne. For the last time, NO, I am not John Goodman.

SixDegreesOfBlondness said...

(Eyeing the prominent microphone):
"Keeeerrrraaaaapp, Andrew! How do you take it up there night after night?"
Blanco: "Calm down and enjoy it, noob. Just lie back and pretend it's Hillary with a strap-on. That's what I do."

**********


"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!"

attmay said...

A demonstration of the foghorn belch that damaged the levees in New Orleans.

Cybrludite said...

"Ok, I've had it with Gov. "BlankStare", "Dollar Bill" Jefferson, Mayor "Short Bus" Nagin, Judge "Revolving Door" Eloise, a police department that's more dangerous than the thugs they're supposed to protect us from, needing to take a locked & loaded .45 to check my snail-mail, and paying $1.26 a square foot for a tiny apartment in a neighborhood that's going down faster than Linda Lovelace on roofies! I'm moving to Memphis!" - Me on a bad day here in the Chocolate City (Only I'm taller, fuzzier, and less round)

Rodney Dill said...

"...AND I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!"

Submariner said...

And the obvious;
Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Submariner said...

Lousianna's fare share? I'll tell you Lousianna's fare share - zip, Nada, ought, ziltch, NOTHING you freakin' losers! That's what you get for buildin' BELOW freakin' SEA LEVEL!

curly said...

“Thanks to Bush’s mishandling of the Hurricane Katrina catastrophe, all of the whores that used to work Bourbon Street were forced to move to Houston; subsequently, I haven’t had sex in almost two years!”

jeff said...

He didn't mention us in the State of the Union Address! He didn't mention us in the State of the Union Address! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

WALSTIB said...

She: "Waiter, on second thought, don't bring me what he's having."

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Boy, he never saw that wedgie coming..."

attmay said...

♪ AND IIIIIIIIIII-E-YIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU-U-U-U-U ♪

dusty said...

Gov. Blanco often wonders why every dang meeting has to to be opened with the National Anthem.

Anonymous said...

Watching as a fellow Democrat was forced to fellaciate the Invisible Man, Gov. Blanco wisely decides to keep her pie hole shut lest she be next.

Double the U said...

I am woman, hear me *ROAR!!*

Double the U said...

Ow! Ow! Paper cut!

WALSTIB said...

Her thought bubble: "Note to self - choose surgery over passing a stone naturally"

Cybrludite said...

(Wasn't going to go there, but Subbie hit a nerve...)

The rest of the nation's fair share under Subbie's plan? 25% less fossil fuels, a sizable chunk of the chemical industry goes away, nearly a third of the nation's seafood is gone, and the midwest returns to being a frigging desert because the farmers can't economically export their grain. I didn't know you were a Green, Sub-ster...

What, you thought we were living here for our health?

Cybrludite said...

Louisiana's fair share? 50% of the Federal aid, despite recieving 85% of the storm damage.

Submariner said...

Sheesh, cybr - don't go 'Dawn' on us. It was a freakin cap based on the things in the photo. You aren't the only one; I'm relatively certain that every one of us that post regularly have had a nerve touched at one time or another. Some of us are made fun of to the point that we ARE the continuing joke. Lighten up.

Jason said...

Whaddaya mean there ain't no cookies?!?!

Jason said...

Rosie O'Donnell shows us her "war face."

Jason said...

SOTG reacts to his daughter's prom date

Submariner said...

cybr - reread what I posted and realized that it may get misconstrued. At the risk of sounding like a bleeding heart - I'm the Veep of a non-profit support group that has made 22 trips into the heart of Katrina ravaged areas - we've focused primarily on Long Beach and Pas Christian and are a first-responder org. My heart goes out to everyone that was hurt in these storms, however, I also think we HAVE to be able to laugh at what hurts us, if for no other reason than it is that ability that separates us from the lesser beasts. To do otherwise would just make us liberals. Try to keep laughing.

Kevin Walker said...

"WHERE ARE MY TWINKIES!"
-----
Michael Moore, the early years.

Cybrludite said...

Sub,

Sorry for the Dawn-esque reaction. Been hearing the same comments for a year & a half from folks as serious as a heart attack over it. Thank you for your help in rebuilding the area. We really do appreciate it.

Jon