Monday, January 29, 2007

Dhimmi, Dhimmer, Dhimmiest

1. "Ya got TROUBLE/With a capital "T"
Which is a letter like "J"/And that stands for Jews!"

2. Seeing the microphones, Jimmah flashes back to the probing he got on the UFO .

3. "Look, I'm a mime trapped in glass box... by the Jews!"

4. "And then I took some of the headache pills I found in Amy's bedroom and went on an amazing psychadelic journey."

5. "And when I saw what Arafat was doing to Emmanuel Lewis, I made a face like this."

6. (Cap This Classic) "And then Hillary turned around and, no lie, it was this big."

7. "And that's why Ahmadinejihad deserves the Nobel Peace Prize."

8. Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

9. This is also the exact face he made the first time Arafat penetrated him.

10. "I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?"

Best of Submariner
I'm coming, Elizabeth...

Best of Submariner
...and then Kissinger walks in, touchin' things in mah oval office with his slimy Jew hands and givin' me bad Jew advice. As IF I'd a evah asked HIM!

Best of curly
“We had to recall all of the Billy Beer in the late 70’s because after one sip your body would palsy like this.”

Best of curly
“No, you drink the strychnine before you grab the rattle snake and shake it over your head.”

Best of curly
“Thank you for coming. Today’s topic will be my favorite tried and true: amerika the cause of all evil that ever was and ever will be.”

Best of Van Helsing
"And if you're not careful the Jews… LEAP OUT AND GET YA!"

Best of curly
“Sure, Ronald Reagan salvaged the country following my pitiful time in office, but could he samba like this?”

Best of Silhouette
The word on the podium seal is as close as Jimmah will ever come to the truth.

Best of WALSTIB
"...she has vast....tracks o' land!"

Best of Occasional Reader
When speaking at universities noted for their "high Jewish enrollment", President Carter always tries to win over the audience with his patented "Jazz Hands".

Best of prince of leaves
[intoning ominously] "Jeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwsssssssss!"

Best of divine miss m
ORA "...and that's where we found Amy, up in a tree, eating bananas with Abbie Hoffman."

Best of attmay
The Dhimmitude Players present "A Star is Born" with Jimmy Carter filling in for Judy Garland.

Best of dusty
"-----and then there was this rather awkward moment when Pres. Cahtah paused, urinated on the podium and then demanded a towel."

Best of Jack Reacher
"And then the brave naval officer destroyed the evil swamp-devil-rabbit, and the animals of the forest rejoiced, and sang, and built houses for low-income animals."

Best of Bubbalove
"..and now young Jew, you will die!" said Emperer Jimmah as bolts of dark Farce flame flew from his fingertips. Seconds later, Darth Clinton snatched Jimmah and the Jew up and tossed both of them into the nearby bottomless Pit of Pelosi thereby bringing balance back into the ranks of the Democratic KKKnights. THE END

Best of Cybrludite
Jimmy finally realizes that it was AIDS that killed Arafat, and that this related to how gracelessly he himself was aging.

Best of Jason
Jimmy Carter show us his "war face."


Hat Tip: Walstib
Source: JPost

36 comments:

Submariner said...

ORA:

I'm coming, Elizabeth...

Submariner said...

Trust ol' Jimmah on this one; what happens at Avalon Manor NEEDS to stay at Avalon Manor...

Submariner said...

...if Gerry were alive today he'd be scratchin' at the lid on his coffin!
hee hee; That one cracks me up ever time...

Submariner said...

...and then Kissinger walks in, touchin' things in mah oval office with his slimy Jew hands and givin' me bad Jew advice. As IF I'd a evah asked HIM!

Submariner said...

Kobe? I'm open over here. (provided you ain't no Jew...)

Submariner said...

So the lust gets aholt of mah heart and Ah grabs Nell Cahtah's bosoms in the Lincoln bedroom lahk this. I figured that we MUST be related somehow, so it was ahlright...

curly said...

“Yes, these are the very hands that ushered in Islamofacism, caused 15% inflation, dismantled the amerikan military, and massaged the prostate of Yasser Arafat.”

“We had to recall all of the Billy Beer in the late 70’s because after one sip your body would palsy like this.”

“No, you drink the strychnine before you grab the rattle snake and shake it over your head.”

“Sure, I’m the oldest living ex-President. I’m also the oldest living Communist, the oldest living Jew hater, the oldest living prick, and the oldest living anti-amerikan seditionist with a background in treachery!”

curly said...

“I don’t get much credit for my tenure in the White House. For example, all of the episodes of ‘24’ that revolve around the treacherous, weak-willed conniving Commander in Chief are based on me!”

“Thank you for coming. Today’s topic will be my favorite tried and true: amerika the cause of all evil that ever was and ever will be.”

“Sure, Ronald Reagan salvaged the country during my pitiful time in office, but could he samba like this?”

Van Helsing said...

"And if you're not careful the Jews… LEAP OUT AND GET YA!"

curly said...

I meant to say:

“Sure, Ronald Reagan salvaged the country following my pitiful time in office, but could he samba like this?”

Silhouette said...

The word on the podium seal is as close as Jimmah will ever come to the truth.

curly said...

“You are getting sleepy…Oh, never mind. Everyone falls asleep when I speak anyway.”

“Sure, I sanctioned the rigged election that established Hugo Ch├ívez as President, allowed the Ayatollah Khomeini to return to Iran and thereby usher in the era of Islamofacism that we battle today, and almost ushered in the collapse of the dollar by ignoring the Hunt Brothers’ cornering of the silver market; but hey, nobody’s perfect.”

“Watch me pull a killer rabbit out of my hat.”

“Since my Presidential legacy is tarnished at best, I hope to be remembered as the first ex-President to break the unwritten rule of not criticizing the foreign and domestic policies of a sitting administration. This is the chief reason most Americans wish I were long dead.”

“Sanctimonious blow hard a$$hole? Me? Just because I wear my religion on my sleeve, build a house or two for the less fortunate with great fanfare, certify the election of every would-be tin pot dictator, and only criticize the policies of Republican administrations?”

Submariner said...

Who the heck let a Fox News reporter in here?

Submariner said...

Imagine there's no country, it's easy if you try...

curly said...

“Habitat for Humanity provides a plethora of metaphors akin to my vision for amerika: a substandard hovel built in third-world areas, heavily subsidized by the government, built by amateurish do-gooders, occupied by illegal immigrants or other losers. Draw your own parallels.”

WALSTIB said...

"...she has vast....tracks o' land!"

Occasional Reader said...

When speaking at universities noted for their "high Jewish enrollment", President Carter always tries to win over the audience with his patented "Jazz Hands".

prince of leaves said...

"There's a...what...on mah podium? Hebrew?! Egads! And I touched it, too!"

prince of leaves said...

[intoning ominously] "Jeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwsssssssss!"

divine miss m said...

ORA:

"...and that's where we found Amy, up in a tree, eating bananas with Abbie Hoffman."

divine miss m said...

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

attmay said...

Jimmah tries to put a spell on Israel that will make them capitulate to the Arabs. It fails.

attmay said...

The Dhimmitude Players present "A Star is Born" with Jimmy Carter filling in for Judy Garland.

dusty said...

"-----and then there was this rather awkward moment when Pres. Cahtah paused, urinated on the podium and then demanded a towel."

prince of leaves said...

"Wooohooooh! Next next time you might want to warm up that truth before shoving it into my innermost parts!"

Jack Reacher said...

"And then the brave naval officer destroyed the evil swamp-devil-rabbit, and the animals of the forest rejoiced, and sang, and built houses for low-income animals."

"And I said 'Whoa, Yassir, you can occupy my territory any time.' But he was already leaving."

Anonymous said...

"Kobe, I'm a friggin' dumb ass...er, I mean I'm open."

Bubbalove said...

"..and now young Jew, you will die!" said Emporer Jimmah as bolts of dark Farce flame flew from his fingertips. Seconds later, Darth Clinton snatched Jimmah and the Jew up and tossed both of them into the nearby bottomless Pit of Pelosi thereby bringing balance back into the ranks of the Democratic KKKnights.
THE END

Cybrludite said...

Jimmy finally realizes that it was AIDS that killed Arafat, and that this related to how gracelessly he himself was aging.

Jason said...

Jimmy Carter show us his "war face."

Submariner said...

an ORA only a lizard will understand:

"...and then as I was walking up the east wing's stairs, a Pusher Robot approached..."

Anonymous said...

6. (Cap This Classic) "And then Hillary turned around and, no lie, it was this big."

Baslim says, if so is it a clenis or a penoris she's got.

Anonymous said...

And then, Adm. Rickover shoved a Mk 48 up my ass and it as this big around.

Submariner said...

"...and then there was this one time at band camp when Rosalyn asked would I mind 'receiving' the clarinet for a change..."

Submariner said...

That's when I saw Prough91's "girl"friend, bless her heart...

Submariner said...

Worst.President.Ever.

(Thank you. Thank you verah much.)