Friday, February 02, 2007

Debauchery

1. "This party is much better since we kicked out that fat guy in the leopard print speedo."

2. "Honey, I swear to you, I did not just 69 that mime. How could you think such a thing?"

3. "Wow, this coffee booth is a lot bigger on the inside."

4. "I like you, Rick. I think I'll falsely accuse you of rape last."

5. "It's just paint, darlin' I don't got that Michael Jackson disease."

6. "Quick! Lick the rest of the cocaine off my body before Courtney Love gets here."

7. "Yes, this is the best New Year's Eve party... but you do know it's February now?"

8. To compete with "Fluffer's," Starbucks makes Tuesdays "Clothing Optional."

Best of Capt. Queeg
"How 'bout a nice, hot steaming cup of I'm gettin' laid tonight?"

Best of Jason
Do roofies always make your eyes dilate like that?

Best of jeff
Pink outlining with leopard print? The Go Fug Yourself girls will see you now...

Best of prince of leaves
How to know you're the only straight guy in the room: the only girl in the room is a hot blonde in a lepoard-print bikini with her arm around you, and all the other guys are looking the other way.

Best of prince of leaves
The dean could ignore the nudity and underage drinking, but the racially-insensitive "Indian" warpaint got the frat banned from campus for three years.

Best of Rodney Dill
"...and never fall asleep right after teasing your girl friend about using WhiteOut on the computer screen."

Best of curly
“That’s not war paint on my face; it’s traffic directional markers to show her where to sit.”

Best of curly
"Put your $50 'donation' in the cup and then get in line like everybody else, Kemo Sabe."

Best of curly
Andrew Sullivan empathizes with the young man wearing Cortisone: “I break out in hives too whenever a woman touches me.”

Best of curly
"The warpaint is for hunting. I just captured the elusive leopard skinned bimbo."

Best of Submariner
Really? Your last name is Wurmer? We have a Dean Wurmer...

18 comments:

Capt. Queeg said...

"How 'bout a nice, hot steaming cup of I'm gettin' laid tonight?"

Jason said...

Julie really enjoyed being the only girl at a gay party.

Jason said...

Check it out! I've got the only girl here! Take a picture, quick!

Jason said...

Do roofies always make your eyes dilate like that?

jeff said...

Pink outlining with leopard print? The Go Fug Yourself girls will see you now...

Anonymous said...

Janice was so excited when she heard about the party that was full of guys. But there was a reason for that.

prince of leaves said...

...but at the stroke of midnight, Sinnerella turned back into the flabby, middle-aged man in the photo below, and had to slink home from the frat party alone and dejected.

prince of leaves said...

How to know you're the only straight guy in the room: the only girl in the room is a hot blonde in a lepoard-print bikini with her arm around you, and all the other guys are looking the other way.

prince of leaves said...

Sam Brownback just knew that his wild partying frat days would come back to haunt him someday.

prince of leaves said...

The dean could ignore the nudity and underage drinking, but the racially-insensitive "Indian" warpaint got the frat banned from campus for three years.

sonicfrog said...

Number 28 on the list of 101 uses for liquid paper.

Rodney Dill said...

"...and never fall asleep right after teasing your girl friend about using WhiteOut on the computer screen."

curly said...

“That’s not war paint on my face; it’s traffic directional markers to show her where to sit.”

curly said...

"Put your $50 'donation' in the cup and then get in line like everybody else, Kemo Sabe."

curly said...

Andrew Sullivan empathizes with the young man wearing Cortisone: “I break out in hives too whenever a woman touches me.”

wv = kydbx: KY by da box.

curly said...

"The warpaint is for hunting. I just captured the elusive leopard skinned bimbo."

Submariner said...

"...and seeBS has just uncovered this photo from 1972 showing what George W. Bush was REALLY doing when he was supposed to be on drill status with the TANG."

Submariner said...

Really? Your last name is Wurmer? We have a Dean Wurmer...