Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Confident, Confident, Communist Pigs


1. "Congratulations, comrade. I told you those 'Hooked on Phonics' courses would work."

2. The curtains fumed, "Either these two smelly Marxists go, or I do."

3. "To Serve Man... is a cookbook!"

4. "How can Heather have two mommies? Grrrr! Noriega-Hulk mad! Crush! Kill! Destroy!!!"

5. "Comrade, I spent hours choreographing 'Y-M-C-A' and you have to screw it up!"

6. "I don't know who stole your pressed prom corsage, but I promise to keep executing villagers until we find it."

7. Finding the pr0n0graphic murals bolted to the wall, Noriega and Chavez steal the guestbook as a souvenir of the Enumclaw bordello.

8. "One of the popular kids signed your yearbook? Let me see!"

9. "Seriously, does this look like a tumor in my armpit?"

10. "I don't know why you're so excited. 'Who's Who in Latin America' is just a scam. For $300, they put anybody's name in it."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I wish the leftards would stop repeating the myth that Adama was busy showing off his copy of My Pet Goat when the Cyclons attacked.

Best of nuts for tuna
Carlos Mencia's work with disabled Mexicans earns him the title of 'The Mexican Jerry Louis'.

Best of curly
"No kidding, Cindy Sheehan autograghed your copy of the Communist Manifesto? I didn't think the broad could write!"

Best of lawhawk
I just saved a bunch of gas money by switching to CITGO!

Best of Jonathan
Manuel celebrates his "Paper, Rock, Scissors" finals victory over Hugo, thrusting his winning "Rock" into the air while Hugo, still holding his vanquished "Scissors", stares in disbelief. Of course, Manuel was executed before dawn.

Best of Jack Reacher
See? Half the pages are blank. I'm not really a speed-reader.

15 comments:

jeff said...

"I'm secure - I use Sure!"

Rodney Dill said...

Chavez: "What? You're Waldo? I thought you were s'posed to be in the book."

Submariner said...

If Kobe throws you the ball vice me, it will NOT be pleasant for either of you...

Submariner said...

Yes, Pedro. Celebrate your victory tonight while you still have arms and legs...

Submariner said...

Congratulations on your acceptance as the newest Avalon Manor member; wanna go try out the "benefits?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I wish the leftards would stop repeating the myth that Adama was busy showing off his copy of My Pet Goat when the Cyclons attacked.

A.M. Mora y Leon said...

My that's powerful Sandinista armpit funk you have, Danny boy! I don't know if we Chavistas can match it. Not only can I smell it, I can see it! I better go get my sunglasses!

nuts for tuna said...

Carlos Mencia's work with disabled Mexicans earns him the title of 'The Mexican Jerry Louis'.

prince of leaves said...

Learning to read: another job Americans won't do.

curly said...

"Si, Hugo. It's high lierature, meaning we must hold it like this when we read it."

"While addressing the UN, hold up any Jimmy Carter book if there are no Noam Chompsky books availble."

"No kidding, Cindy Sheehan autograghed your copy of the Communist Manifesto? I didn't think the broad could write!"

Anonymous said...

I saved a bunch of gas money by switching to CITGO!

sonicfrog said...

Wooo Hooo!!! Second most anti-capitalist nation according to the WSJ!!!

Now if we can just buy off Li'l Kim Jong, get him to loosen up a bit, we'll be number one in no time!!!

Anonymous said...

Manuel celebrates his "Paper, Rock, Scissors" finals victory over Hugo, thrusting his winning "Rock" into the air while Hugo, still holding his vanquished "Scissors", stares in disbelief. Of course, Manuel was executed before dawn.

Jack Reacher said...

"It says it! Right here! Noriega is the most communist of all."

"Would you like to hear the banker's offer, Hugo? Or shall we open the suitcase?"

See? Half the pages are blank. I'm not really a speed-reader.

Submariner said...

Not so ORA:

Juan: "Hey Hugo you big stud!"
Hugo: "That's me, honey."
Juan: "Take me to bed or lose me forever."
Hugo: "Show me the way home, honey."