Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Confident, Confident, Communist Pigs
1. "Congratulations, comrade. I told you those 'Hooked on Phonics' courses would work."
2. The curtains fumed, "Either these two smelly Marxists go, or I do."
3. "To Serve Man... is a cookbook!"
4. "How can Heather have two mommies? Grrrr! Noriega-Hulk mad! Crush! Kill! Destroy!!!"
5. "Comrade, I spent hours choreographing 'Y-M-C-A' and you have to screw it up!"
6. "I don't know who stole your pressed prom corsage, but I promise to keep executing villagers until we find it."
7. Finding the pr0n0graphic murals bolted to the wall, Noriega and Chavez steal the guestbook as a souvenir of the Enumclaw bordello.
8. "One of the popular kids signed your yearbook? Let me see!"
9. "Seriously, does this look like a tumor in my armpit?"
10. "I don't know why you're so excited. 'Who's Who in Latin America' is just a scam. For $300, they put anybody's name in it."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
I wish the leftards would stop repeating the myth that Adama was busy showing off his copy of My Pet Goat when the Cyclons attacked.
Best of nuts for tuna
Carlos Mencia's work with disabled Mexicans earns him the title of 'The Mexican Jerry Louis'.
Best of curly
"No kidding, Cindy Sheehan autograghed your copy of the Communist Manifesto? I didn't think the broad could write!"
Best of lawhawk
I just saved a bunch of gas money by switching to CITGO!
Best of Jonathan
Manuel celebrates his "Paper, Rock, Scissors" finals victory over Hugo, thrusting his winning "Rock" into the air while Hugo, still holding his vanquished "Scissors", stares in disbelief. Of course, Manuel was executed before dawn.
Best of Jack Reacher
See? Half the pages are blank. I'm not really a speed-reader.