Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Where Does One Begin, Exactly...

1. After Grandma got run over by a reindeer, grandpa became bitter, perverted, and often photoshopped.

2. John McCain lets the voters know how he feels about Free Speech.

3. "Can't use the ladies room, can I? Well, here's what I say to that!"

4. "Try to put me in a burqa? Here's what I think about that."

5. 'The Boyfriend' doesn't care to have his picture taken.

6. "Pick some giant psycho-hallucinatory insect over me for your running mate? F-You Kucinich!"

7. We've replaced grandpa's Alzheimer's meds with discount Mexican "Vi@gr@." Let's see if he notices.

8. "Because you can't get a Rosie O'Donnell Blow Up Doll and this was the next best thing. Now, frak off!"

9. How nature says, 'Do Not Touch!'

10. Tim Johnson was never the same after the stroke.*

I think the HT goes to Frank, or maybe Right Wing Conspirator. Maybe SondraK?

* That's gonna put a potato in some tailpipes. If that offends you, mentally substitute the ORA Caption: "He said 'Garp' and then he said 'Good!'"

Best of divine miss m
Charlotte could only look on in horror from the ceiling; this was not the future she'd imagined for Wilbur.

Best of prince of leaves
"The imam says: if the pig's inflatable, it's not haram. So f-you!"

Best of Cybrludite
Dr. Kevorkian relaxes after "assisting" another terminally ill patient.

Best of Silhouette
Though treasured by two generations, for many the last season of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood spoiled its memory forever.

Best of lawhawk
So, now we see what the real Joy Behar household looks like. It explains much.

Best of Van Helsing
It looks like Howard Dean could face some competition for Chairman of the DNC.

Best of Submariner
So how did you THINK the "other, other" meat got white?

Best of Submariner
'Ow to Speak Awstraylian:
"Pulled Pork"

Best of Submariner
We always referred to him as "Inflated Scrotum Guy" but I didn't really think...

Best of sonicfrog
Only in California. Well, at least he's not running for Governor... or is he???

Best of Submariner
Grandpa! When you asked if I "wanted to tackle a few pigskins" I thought we were gonna play football...

Best of Submariner
Bill fretted, "I thought Monica was MY girl..."

Best of Anonymous
"Back off or the sheep gets it too!"

"What happens in the Gimp's bedroom stays in the Gimp's bedroom. Literally."

Best of divine miss m
So THIS is how the Heaven's Gate guy is doomed to spend eternity...

Best of Adjustah
Merry Christmas, love Bob Dole

Best of Andrew Sullivan
I wish someone would put a potato in my tailpipe.

Best of Jonathan
"No, Gramps, I don't care WHO you're supposed to be...you're not getting any 'crazy candy'!"

Best of Submariner
"Piggly Wiggly!"
Gramps was the greatest at charades.

Best of Frank IBC
To his credit, he uses a "butt-coaster" (towel between naked butt and furniture).

Best of racerboy
The #1 reason "The Harvey Korman Story" hasn't hit VH1 yet...

36 comments:

divine miss m said...

Charlotte could only look on in horror from the ceiling; this was not the future she'd imagined for Wilbur.

prince of leaves said...

"The imam says: if the pig's inflatable, it's not haram. So f-you!"

Cybrludite said...

Dr. Kevorkian relaxes after "assisting" another terminally ill patient.

Nobody said...

Kicking out the Salvation Army was one thing, selling Che T-shirts was another, but Target's "Alternative Santa Claus" may have crossed a line.

Submariner said...

Latex ain't pork, so the house is still Kosher, right Rabbi?

Silhouette said...

Though treasured by two generations, for many the last season of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood spoiled its memory forever.

lawhawk said...

So, now we see what the real Joy Behar household looks like. It explains much.

Van Helsing said...

It looks like Howard Dean could face some competition for Chairman of the DNC.

Submariner said...

So how did you THINK the "other, other" meat got white?

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstraylian:
"Pulled Pork"

Submariner said...

We always referred to him as "Inflated Scrotum Guy" but I didn't really think...

sonicfrog said...

Only in California. Well, at least he's not running for Governor... or is he???

sonicfrog said...

Pork - the other white meat!

sonicfrog said...

"Yeah? Well we both voted democrat, so piss off !!!"

divine miss m said...

Grandpa reacts to the news that his outfit looked a whole lot better on the train-track gal.

Submariner said...

Grandpa! When you asked if I "wanted to tackle a few pigskins" I thought we were gonna play football...

Submariner said...

Bill fretted, "I thought Monica was MY girl..."

Anonymous said...

"Back off or the sheep gets it too!"

"Babe 3: Midnight Pig"

"I don't know how to get over ewe"

"What happens in the Gimp's bedroom stays in the Gimp's bedroom. Literally."

divine miss m said...

So THIS is how the Heaven's Gate guy is doomed to spend eternity...

Adjustah said...

Merry Christmas, love Bob Dole

Anonymous said...

During WWII the nazis made their POWs dress up like French whores.

Submariner said...

Grandpa said; "V, you had me at '* That's gonna put a potato in some tailpipes.'"

Submariner said...

Coming to a theatre near you next spring;
Ang Lee remakes "Grumpy old Men."

Submariner said...

Damn... al'Gore has really let himself go!

Submariner said...

All I'm sayin' Gramps is that I really hope Gram Scotchguarded the couch...

Andrew Sullivan said...

I wish someone would put a potato in my tailpipe.

Cricket said...

There's more than one way to stuff an animal.

Submariner said...

Inspired by Cricket:

When Gramps said he was takin' up taxidermy I had a different picture of the technique he'd use...

Jonathan said...

"No, Gramps, I don't care WHO you're supposed to be...you're not getting any 'crazy candy'!"

Submariner said...

It's kinda hard to blame him. I mean - Redskins fans really haven't had much to satisfy them since John Rigggin's days, right?

Submariner said...

Arthur Fonzarelli - the 'second childhood' years; "Aaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!"

Submariner said...

"Piggly Wiggly!"
Gramps was the greatest at charades.

Anonymous said...

It's Jonathan Leffingwell's new Xmas card.

Kevin Walker said...

Where did you find my family's photo album, V?!

Frank IBC said...

To his credit, he uses a "butt-coaster" (towel between naked butt and furniture).

racerboy said...

The #1 reason "The Harvey Korman Story" hasn't hit VH1 yet...