R-r-r-r-r-r-r-ipped from the Headlines

1. (Sigh) If only the initials on his jacket were I.N.S.

2. "I understand you've been referring to 'KFC' as 'K the C.' I have to cite you."

3. "I'm also going to have to cite the Chihuahua for piddling on my boots."

4. "You've discovered traces of polonium in the green onions? Man, the KGB was really out to get somebody!"

5. E. Coli. was nothing. 63 people were infected with syphillus after Paris Hilton used the Salad Bar.

Best of Van Helsing
This agent from the Flatulence Diminishment Agency has his work cut out for him.

Best of Targetpractice
"No no, see, FDA, not INS. They're busy over at the Home Depot."

Best of WALSTIB
Technically, this stuff isn't considered "food", but an order is an order.

Best of ColoardoPatriot
"From a Dumpster in the Alley"
"Found Dead Alone"
"Feeling Distended Again"
"Forward Directly to Alcee"

Best of Six Degrees of, uh, something...
"Fart Development Addict"

Best of prince of leaves
¡Yo quero escherichia coli!

Best of prince of leaves
Morgan Spurlock was surprised at how quickly he lost weight while filming the sequel to "Super Size Me"...until his doctor informed him the weight loss, like the frothy diarrhea, was the result of food poisoning.

Best of Capt. Queeg
Sadly, the outbreak might have been contained had the FDA agent understood "Pull to Open" before his third visit.



AssPress Photo/Mel Evans