Out in the Woodsy Woods

1. "We've only been in these woods for half an hour, and there's a state highway right over there. I don't think we need to resort to drinking each other's urine just yet, Mr. Sullivan."

2. "Are you telling me the only trace of the teenagers you've found at this abandoned summer camp is some old hockey mask?"

3. "I think you should go ask those inbred rednecks for directions, Ken. After all, you do have the purtiest mouth."

4. The Revenuers still haven't found the still V the K's family keeps in the woods behind the homestead.

5. "I got a better idea. Before those meddling kids foil our plans, let's butcher them and their little dog, too."

6. "Now, I don't want you guys to panic, or anything, but this is the exact same Oregon wilderness where Bear Grylls ate his entire camera crew out of sheer desperation."

7. "This looks like a good place for the concentration camp. Soon as we clear out the trees, we'll start trucking in the homos and leftists."

8. Mythbusters Tackles the Question: If you pull a man's finger in the forest, does it make a poot?

9. "Look, all we have to do is survive in Dick Cheney's woods for 24 hours, and then we're free."

10. "OK, Gina, we'll set up the camera here, you, Buck, and the dog strip down and get ready for the scene."