Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Obligatory Christmas "What's She Singing" Caption Set

1. "Watch the parents freak out when I go Lewinsky all over this microphone."

2. ♪“You like how I look in the aqua green? Get your Vaseline/Roll some weed with some tissue and close your eyes/Then imagine your tongue in between my thighs.”

3. ♪ “Well, I’ve f**ked a sheep and I’ve f**ked a goat/I rammed my c**k right down its throat/So what, so what, you boring little c**t.”

4. "London Bridge Is Falling Down" was removed from the program when Becky's mom objected on the basis that "a 'London Bridge' is when two girls are being done doggy style, facing each other and making out while the two men high five each other." and "how dare you expose pre-schoolers to such filth."

5. ♪"Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again... Oh, no!"


6.
You can suck all the dick you want/ And still be a virgin ... Mary!

7. "And now, at the request of our PhysEd Teacher Ms. Brubaker, a medley of k.d. lang and Melissa Etheridge songs."

8. ♪ “I knew a house cleaner named Betty Jo/Took her to my home and she vacuumed the floor/The girl got fastidious and I tell you more/She was down on her knees regulatin’ the flow.”

9. "And now, in honor of Senator Clinton's visit, a medley of k.d. lang and Melissa Etheridge songs."

10. I like big butts and I can not lie...

Americana, of course. Lyrics 2, 3, & 8 ripped from the Blender.

21 comments:

prince of leaves said...

There wasn't a dry eye in the house at the end of Scout's performance of "Silent Night"...perhaps because her high notes were piercing enough to shatter human corneas.

prince of leaves said...

"...and I'd like to thank the Ramsays for their kind donation of slightly-used Christmas pageant costumes..."

prince of leaves said...

"...and like everyone, I just wish that Jeremy and the others could be celebrating with us today..."

prince of leaves said...

"And now the David Duke Elementary fourth grade class will sing 'White (Power) Christmas'..."

Submariner said...

♪ ...it's me and me crew and we're here for a screw, said Barnacle Bill the sailor. ♪

Submariner said...

♪I saw mommy kvitzing Santa Clause...♪

Submariner said...

Those three stud-muffins in speedo's on our snowy front lawn? Did 'em...

attmay said...

♪ Wasted away again in Margaritaville... ♪

prince of leaves said...

♪"Grandmaw got Enumclawed by a reindeer..."♪

racerboy said...

♪Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate...♪

(word verif: puduw!)

racerboy said...

♪I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all...
Oh I've got big balls...♪

racerboy said...

♪Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery...♪

sonicfrog said...

♫ ...acid on eyeballs, venerial rashes,
Jesus was jewish deserved forty lashes,
Dog bites and bees stings and birds without wings,
Thses are a few of my favorite things... ♫

Targetpractice said...

♫I'm on the Highway to Hell!...♫

Divine Miss M said...

...and God bless Uncle Harry and his roomate Andrew, who we're not supposed to talk about...

racerboy said...

My Uncle Joe says he'll buy me a pony once I learn to supress something called a gag reflex.

racerboy said...

"When I grow up, I hope my rack's big enough to fill out those cute outfits my sisters Holly and Ivy wore on Thursday."

Cybrludite said...

♪So fill my glass and I'll park my ass
and a tale to you I'll tell
Of Deadeye Dick and Mexico Pete
and the gentle Eskimo Nell...♪

Submariner said...

♪So we - drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and FIGHT!

Submariner said...

"Chlamydia
C - H - L - A - M - Y - D - I - A
Chlamydia"
(Sheesh! I wish they'd give me something I haven't had!)

Submariner said...

"...and when I grow up, I plan on getting posted on Thursdays by V. da K."