Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Nipple Pinchy

1. The NFL salutes 'Breast Cancer Awareness Month.'

2. "I can't breathe in this helmet, Andrew. Can't we just get out the hood and the dog collar and play Abu Ghraib again?"

3. When the ref discovered the butt-plug, the penalty was changed from 'Holding' to 'Illegal Block in the Back.'

4. "S'cuse me while I penetrate your End Zone."

5. "Dude, this is the field, not the Redskins locker room."

6. "Hans is going to pump you up, while Franz is going to gently fondle your tender nipple buds."

7. Rick didn't mind Bruce's tender shows of affection, but he was livid that Bruce was wearing white shoess after Labor Day.

8. You know how I can tell you're gay? Because you hold each other oh-so-tenderly while in Dallas Cowboys fetish gear.

9. "Bruce... I need some space.

10. "Nothing to worry about, folks. Just a simple system lock-up. Just let me get into the access panel for his neural network."

Best of The Man
[insert Brokeback gay cowboy joke here]

Best of Rodney Dill
I wish I could Blitz you.

Best of Frank IBC
The Purple Nerple complemented the blue and white uniform perfectly.

Best of Adjustah
Despite the hippie protests, Hugs knew that he'd never really be free...

Best of prince of leaves
Enraged by his unconscionably lousy performance, Bruce tore open the kicker's ribcage and disemboweled him with his bare hands in front of a sellout crowd of 75,000.

Best of Submariner
Now that's what I call some high quality H2O!

H/T: Christopher Mayer

14 comments:

The Man said...

[insert Brokeback gay cowboy joke here]

Rodney Dill said...

"Aren't you the wide receiver?"

Rodney Dill said...

I wish I could Blitz you.

(saw this used somewhere before. can't remember where.)

Rodney Dill said...

Guy in Front: "Well I guess this really is PeeWee ball."

Frank IBC said...

The Purple Nerple complemented the blue and white uniform perfectly.

Adjustah said...

Despite the hippie protests, Hugs knew that he'd never really be free...

Anonymous said...

"We put the man in Cowboy. Literally."

Straight8 said...

Foooootball been very, very good to me.

prince of leaves said...

Enraged by his unconscionably lousy performance, Bruce tore open the kicker's ribcage and disemboweled him with his bare hands in front of a sellout crowd of 75,000.

jeff said...

With the quick application of the Heimlich maneuver, Bruce saves both the kicker and the Cowboy's season after Rick choked on his mouth guard.

Submariner said...

Two Cowboys enter.
One Cowboy leaves!

Submariner said...

ORA:

Now that's what I call some high quality H2O!

Submariner said...

ORA:

Now that's what I call some high quality H2O!

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

"Damn! How I love playing for the Dallass Cowboys! Woohoo!!!"

[Hmm. There was a certain satisfaction (however juvenile) with that one. :) ]

(#5, V... Ouch! That said, even this diehard 'skins fan can't argue much with that!)