Friday, December 22, 2006

Extreme Shrinkage... Surge!


1. "It's working, Sullivan is totally distracted. Now, throw the net on him and get him the hell back on his meds!"

2. He retired from comics at six with a fortune, embraced his 'personal truth' at 16, and by age 26, Calvin could pay studly models to pose for his 'erotic snowmen art.'

3. "And in my day, studly male models had to walk six miles to school in the freezing cold, uphill both ways.."

4. "F-f-f-f-f-f-*-*-k you! Al G-g-g-ore."

5. "Don't come any closer! We were doing watersports and we froze to each other."

6. "We've decided to freeze ourselves in hopes that someday medical science can cure us of 'the gay.'"

7. "Why it's Christmas Day, sir." Ang Lee presents, A Brokeback Christmas Carol.

8. Hey, dudes, do us all a favor and don some gay apparel, stat!

9. Next on the Hallmark Channel, How Icy Hot Stuntaz Saved Christmas.

10. "Crap! Why couldn't we have put on some clothes before we climbed through the back of the wardrobe."

Best of Submariner
Well I think the three of us ARE "man enough" to capture that multi-legged, multi-colored critter that's been terrorizing Fire Island this winter...

Best of The Man
Christmas 2003 was the last year live animals were used in the Enumclaw Babtist Church's nativity display.

Best of Adjustah
The Federation Chritsmas parties always ended with the traditional de-pantsing beam down of the most inebriated security officers...

Best of prince of leaves
Snowbound at UC Boulder, Jim, John and Joe come across Stan the Eternal Grad Student's peyote stash while foraging dorm rooms for food.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok hands down each others pants, we need it for the Christmas card.

Submariner said...

Well I think the three of us ARE "man enough" to capture that multi-legged, multi-colored critter that's been terrorizing Fire Island this winter...

Anonymous said...

At this point in his internship for Rep. Barney Frank, Stan realized that he should have been a Business major.

Anonymous said...

Christmas 2003 was the last year live animals were used in the Enumclaw Babtist Church's nativity display.

Anonymous said...

Ok, just how is this going to make us better bloggers Mr. Sullivan?

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sonicfrog said...

Middle Guy: "M-m-m-m-an, this s-s-sucks! I s-s-s-s-stink even out h-h-h-here!"

Silhouette said...

Poor shy things. I hope Santa brings them some self-confidence.

Anonymous said...

S-s-s-s-s-ome b-b-b-b-b-ody said s-s-s-s-s-omething ab-b-b-b-b-out deliver-r-r-r-r-r-ing a C-c-c-c-c-hristmas p-p-p-p-ackage?

Adjustah said...

The Federation Chritsmas parties always ended with the traditional de-pantsing beam down of the most inebriated security officers...

V the K said...

Adjustah, have you been watching the silly Voyager Marathon on Spike?

prince of leaves said...

[snap!] "Dude -- that wasn't an icicle..."

prince of leaves said...

To alleviate the boredom in snowbound Denver International, a Red Cross worker slipped some LSD into the free hot breakfast of a trio of Baja-bound frat boys.

prince of leaves said...

Snowbound at UC Boulder, Jim, John and Joe come across Stan the Eternal Grad Student's peyote stash while foraging dorm rooms for food.

prince of leaves said...

Jim's supernatural powers over the weather ruined the frat's Fiji vacation when, homesick, he dreamed of a white Christmas.

attmay said...

Doff we now our gay apparel.