1. "Soylent Green is made out of dumb peasants who didn't study hard and got stuck in Iraq!"
2. "Why does this 'foie gras' have little lumps of Tidy Cat stuck to it?
3. "Are these scrambled eggs, or someone's idea of a botched joke?"
4. "See if you can get one of these dumb peasants who didn't study hard and got stuck in Iraq to hold my hair while I purge."
5. "Why do these bran flakes taste like boogers?"
6. "I do believe one of these dumb peasants who didn't study hard and got stuck in Iraq pissed in my apple juice."
7. "Would one of you dumb peasants who didn't study hard and got stuck in Iraq get some gin for Tuhrayzuh's Raisin Bran?"
8. "No, senator, I'm afraid there's no booze in the officer's club. Howard Dean's kid came by and cleaned the place out."
9. "Actually, Tuhrayzuh is just as good in the kitchen as she is in the bedroom; in both places, I end up handling my own meat."
10. "When is that stupid waiter who didn't study hard and got stuck in Iraq going to get back here with my Parmesan?"
Best of Van Helsing
"The last time I sat at a table this empty was when Tuhrayzuh let one rip after a few too many anchovy hors d'oeuvres."
Best of Submariner
That's ok - none of you un-educated military rubes would be ABLE to understand the subtley layered nuances I use anyway. Do any of the rest of you have hotcakes that smell like a latrine?
Best of The Man
John Kerry burnt his tongue on his latte and then applied for his fourth purple heart.
Best of Charlie
"I know I asked that illiterate messcrank for geedunk...and he gave me this shit on a shingle"
Best of Submariner
"They'll sit down and talk to me when I get them a can of 'relative bearing grease' Great! Just freaking great! Where the heck am I going to get one of those?"
Best of Doubting Nick
"I was fed my meal in a fashion reminiscent of Jen-Jiss Caan...."
Best of Targetpractice
In the next photo, Sen. Kerry cut himself with his plastic knife, claiming he was attacking the Vietcong who popped out from under his table. He later put in for his fourth purple heart and a bronze star.
Best of Submariner
"...ah, yes - I remember Christmas in Cambodia. There I was, surrounded by enemies; unable to tell anyone about it for fear of offending party leadership."
Best of Anonymous
No, that white patch on my lips in not leprosy. And no, you really don't want to know what it really is, either.
Best of southchild
“Well, I asked for some dinner companions before I decided against it…"
Best of Rodney Dill
"Whaddya mean Jane Fonda isn't gonna be here. Damn that Cheney punked me again."
Best of 2spotlefty
"Who ARE these people!?! I mean reeeeeally,this place is soooo not the Hamptons! Garsone! DO YOU MIND!?! Freshen my beverage(with the funny spittle flavor)would you?"
Best of Adjustah
Senator Kerry dines with his Army supporters...
The pic Everybody is talking about comes from Powerline and Captain's Quarters.
42 comments:
"The last time I sat at a table this empty was when Tuhrayzuh let one rip after a few too many anchovy hors d'oeuvres."
"Excuse me, does anyone have any Grey Poupon".
"British? This is a British dining facility? I'm gonna kill that Lieutenant!"
John Kerry - dissed by the soldiers of two countries.
"What do you mean their aren't any French soldiers here - isn't this Afghanistan?"
john who?
"You know I served in Vietnam AND Iraq."
I'm sorry, Senator, we only "kerry" Hunt's Ketchup.
Would the Senator care for some rice in the hopes of "winning" another purple heart?
You see, in MY plan we simply convince the patriots of the so-called "insurgency" to participate in multi-lateral peace talks for their country. BRILLIANT! But then I may be talking to myself...
That's ok - none of you un-educated military rubes would be ABLE to understand the subtley layered nuances I use anyway. Do any of the rest of you have hotcakes that smell like a latrine?
SEE? If you KNEW how to make something as simple as a bowl of cereal you wouldn't BE stuck here...
No, no I am saving these seats.
Hmmmm Humble pie...again
VtheK realizes that he should probably switch over to the New Blogger.
Andrew Sullivan was also at the table...but was not in the photo as he was on his knees.
John Kerry burnt his tounge on his latte and then applied for his fourth purple heart.
"I know I asked that illiterate messcrank for geedunk...and he gave me this shit on a shingle"
chasnh stssn(ss) USS GW Carver Gold
Charlie said...
"I know I asked that illiterate messcrank for geedunk...and he gave me this shit on a shingle"
Well done, sea pup - but ya shoulda added something about bug juice for us old-timers.
bwahahahahahahahaah
"They'll sit down and talk to me when I get them a can of 'relative bearing grease' Great! Just freaking great! Where the heck am I going to get one of those?"
"I was fed my meal in a fashion reminiscent of Jen-Jiss Caan...."
"...so as I was saying, I was in..."
Hi Submariner...maybe he'll get a can of relative bearing grease right after they find him 3 feet of chow line!...and by the way...I have a great bug juice story for you
Maybe you fellows can help me out. I'm looking for a couple of soldiers from this unit who wrote and said they'd like to meet with me; Lt. Betty Humpder, and Sgt. Phil McCracken.
Look guys, the democrats are not going to be able to get you out as quickly as we promised the people during the election... However I can show you how to get three purple hearts and you will be out of here inside of four months.
"No wonder there isn't anyone here this food sucks!"
"Notice the response..."
"Notice the soldiers' lack of response..."
"Notice the soldiers'..."
"Uhm, is this a trick question?"
Don't look now, but this photo just sank some Lieutenant's career.
"Don't these peasants know how to make a proper breakfast? Oh, I'm in the British mess hall..."
In the next photo, Sen. Kerry cut himself with his plastic knife, claiming he was attacking the Vietcong who popped out from under his table. He later put in for his fourth purple heart and a bronze star.
Tonight, J. Forbes Kerry will recall all of those "plastic turkey" jokes he made...and weep into his pillow.
"...ah, yes - I remember Christmas in Cambodia. There I was, surrounded by enemies; unable to tell anyone about it for fear of offending party leadership."
No, that white patch on my lips in not leprosy. And no, you really don't want to know what it really is, either.
Now I've been served in both Iraq and Vietnam...
I didn't know it GOT this cold in Iraq...
“Well, I asked for some dinner companions before I decided against it…"
"There's a lot of sand, so there aren't any swiftboats here, right?"
"Whaddya mean Jane Fonda isn't gonna be here. Damn that Cheney punked me again."
Actually, the soldiers are just leaving room for Jack Bauer... (blue blood is hard to get out of digital camis).
V. think you'll love this web page - http://boortz.com/more/funny/jack_bauer_truths.html - my favorite is "Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars."
"An Army of One!
"Who ARE these people!?! I mean reeeeeally,this place is soooo not the Hamptons! Garsone! DO YOU MIND!?! Freshen my beverage(with the funny spittle flavor)would you?"
jfk reading ingredients of his meal,"Hmm,flour,granulated sugar,partially hydrogenated k-9 fe-ce-ce-ce-ce-ceeeeeesshurrrrrrllll!!!"
"Like my mother said to me on her death bed,'No spaghetti
No spaghetti
No sraghetti!
Stick with pate son,stick to what you know'."
Hanoi Times Exclusive
"FATHER OF OUR 'GREAT VICTORY' DINES WITH LATEST VICTIMS"
Senator Kerry dines with his Army supporters...
Post a Comment