Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Dah Bears... and Some Kid


1. Ang Lee's NC-17 version of Goldilocks was never fully embraced by Red State America.

2. "Yes, Uncle Sully, your leather vest is fetching. Speaking of fetching, should I grease up and put on the dog collar now?"

3. "Sorry to interrupt your plushy role-playing, Mom and Dad... and Uncle Roy. Carry on."

4. And then Billy accidentally came between Momma Bear and Baby Bear. Death came swiftly.

5. "Wow, who would have thought Bears would have such an elaborate sexual dungeon in their basement?"

Best of the Man
The producers of 24 decided to cast Ricky Shroder and a few other cast members to bring in younger viewers for Season 6.
Mama bear was a terrorist mole while Papa bear hibernated the whole season.

Best of Adjustah
It was truly sad day when they released The Star Wars Christmas Special: Special Edition.

Best of floranista
Rex Grossman was lulled into a false sense of security during the photo-op with the Bear's owners.
After the media left, they tore off his head and marinated his ribs for the next tailgate party.

Best of Anonymous
On a very special ABC after-school special, Billy Flannigan learns about the dangers of taking Ecstasy and attending non-human raves.

Best of Submariner
Hey, Hey, HEY! What the heck are you doing to my bum, Baby Bear?

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yep son, your mother and I never used protection, that's why we named you Boo-Boo."

Best of Silhouette
"No I don't know. Tell me, what IS bear back?"

Best of prince of leaves
"Bears, Ewoks, what's the difference? You people all look the same to me."

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Now if I mimic their every move, maybe they'll think I'm one of them....there's gotta be a way out of this place somewhere!"

Submariner said...

Hey big daddy! Where's that Goldielocks bi-yotch? I'm in the mood for a little "porridge" if you know what I mean?

Submariner said...

Now y'all promise that "What happens at Avalon Manor STAYS at Avalon Manor" right?

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan woke from his dream and screamed "Ahhhh I would never wear pleated pants".

The Man said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Man said...

The producers of 24 decided to cast Ricky Shroder and a few other cast members to bring in younger viewers for Season 6.
Mama bear was a terrorist mole while Papa bear hibernated the whole season.

Adjustah said...

It was truly sad day when they released The Star Wars Christmas Special: Special Edition.

floranista said...

Rex Grossman was lulled into a false sense of security during the photo-op with the Bear's owners.
After the media left, they tore off his head and marinated his ribs for the next tailgate party.

Anonymous said...

On a very special ABC after-school special, Billy Flannigan learns about the dangers of taking Ecstasy and attending non-human raves.

Submariner said...

Hey, Hey, HEY! What the heck are you doing to my bum, Baby Bear?

Submariner said...

Look, Mr. Bear; I know we're different species and all, but I really dig hirsute women, so...

Rodney Dill said...

"Yep son, your mother and I never used protection, that's why we named you Boo-Boo."

Silhouette said...

"No I don't know. Tell me, what IS bear back?"

Submariner said...

Took me a while to catch him, but here's the "fast food lunch" you ordered Pa...

prince of leaves said...

"Bears, Ewoks, what's the difference? You people all look the same to me."

prince of leaves said...

"Ho-boy, Billy, spiking the shower soap with Rogaine was funny, but not nearly as funny as what Mom and I are going to do with your college fund..."

Straight8 said...

Why yes, Billy, you are adopted.