Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thursday Just Barely Safe For Work

1. "Polishing the woodwork at the Clinton Foundation" can be a metaphor for a lot of things.

2. "And now you take me from behind with a strap-on? Really, Senator Clinton, you are so predictable."

3. Even though this is a lingerie ad, it still makes me want to buy Lemon Pledge.

4. "Polish your mahogany, Mr. Clinton?"

5. Stormee, the obsessive-compulsive lingerie model, can't tolerate a single smudge on her set.

Best of curly
In order to increase ratings, Hometime Network replaced crusty old contractors with voluptuous lingerie models.

Best of Submariner
What do you mean "The round wooden things are for setting your drinks on?"

"Wanna join me for a good after-dinner cigar?" C'mon Bill, you've GOT to come up with a better line.

Best of The Man
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you better have nice boobs.”

Best of Occasional Reader
These "Harold Ford, call me!" ads just keep getting better and better!

Best of jeff
ORA: Doing it on heirloom quality furniture gets her hot...

Best of lawhawk
See through leotard: $45
Classic 19th Century mahogany table: $12,500
Watching the look on your mom's face when you're caught in the act with Little Miss Sunshine: Priceless

Best of What, me worry?
The table must be made of naughty pine.

Best of Submariner
From the looks of things, I'd say she appears to be applying a silicone finish...

Best of What, me worry?
How much wood could a boob job rub if a boob job could rub would?

Best of Cricket
Is this what Kerry meant when he said something about 'stuck on a rack?'

Best of David
The picture Cindy Sheehan takes to the hairdresser. "Give me blonde highlights, so I'll look like THIS"

Best of Jason
'Just Barely Safe For Work?' I'll tell you that what I'm doing isn't

26 comments:

curly said...

"Have you seen Woody Woodpecker?"

- or should I say "Woody would peck her"?

curly said...

In order to increase ratings, Hometime Network has replaced crusty old contractors with voluptuous lingerie models on their home decorating shows.

Submariner said...

Subby said he'd get down on his knees for me if I got down on my elbows for him...

Submariner said...

What do you mean "The round wooden things are for setting your drinks on?"

Submariner said...

I want to model myself after you, Ms. Streisand, but no matter how hard I press, they stay firm...

Submariner said...

"Wanna join me for a good after-dinner cigar?" C'mon Bill, you've GOT to come up with a better line.

Submariner said...

Are you SURE I can get a pearl necklace this way?

lawhawk said...

This is the kind of stocking stuffer I've been looking for...

curly said...

One of the most successful realtors in town, Janet knew how to get potential buyers to view her open houses.

curly said...

"Honey, I'm sorry that I didn't have time to get dinner on the table. Perhaps I can make it up to you some how?"

The Man said...

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you better have nice boobs.”
-John Kerry

Occasional Reader said...

These "Harold Ford, call me!" ads just keep getting better and better!

jeff said...

ORA: Doing it on heirloom quality furniture gets her hot...

lawhawk said...

See through leotard: $45
Classic 19th Century mahogany table: $12,500
Watching the look on your mom's face when you're caught in the act with Little Miss Sunshine: Priceless

Anonymous said...

Like the old saying goes...

Plastic on wood, mighty good
But
Wood on plastic, ahhhh, fantastic!

Submariner said...

Looks like my tutor waiting for me in the "Study." Wonder if I'll get good grades this semester?

What, me worry? said...

The table must be made of naughty pine.

Jane is such wood furnature freak...You should see her dry-hump the oak entertainment center.

"While a good man would be hard to find, a hard wood makes a perfect grind."

Zeke said...

I just want to be respected for my mind! Is that so hard to understand?

Submariner said...

From the looks of things, I'd say she appears to be applying a silicon finish...
not that there's anything wrong with that!

catbat said...

that's a really slutty skunk costume.

What, me worry? said...

How much wood could a boob job rub if a boob job could rub would?

A boob job could rub all the wood if a boob job could rub wood.

Cricket said...

Is this what Kerry meant when he said something about 'stuck on a rack?'

David said...

The picture Cindy Sheehan takes to the hairdresser. "Give me blonde highlights, so I'll look like THIS"

Jason said...

'Just Barey Safe For Work?' I'll tell you that what I'm doing isn't

divine miss m said...

Prof. Ilsa Ericsson's physics class gives its undivided attention whenever she accompanies her lecture with 'visual aids.'

Anonymous said...

'Just Barely Safe For Work?'

You mean, like, if you work in the PORN INDUSTRY?

Steve O