Tuesday, November 28, 2006

So, How'd You Guys Like The Show?

1. "Get him!"

2. "Guys, just to show you there's no hard feelings, I'm taking you to see Lisa Lampanelli and Sarah Silverman at the Comedy Store."

3. Hey, Kramer, you know what you can shove a fork in? Your career... it's done.

4. Jesse grimly concedes that Sheehan was more spongeworthy.

5. Negotiations went awry after Kramer ordered some Brazil nuts from a passing vendor.

6. "No, no, that's my water fountain. You guys's is over there."

7. "Bow-da-dow, Won't you take me to, bow-da-dow, Hymie-town!"

8. "So, Reverend Jackson, why don't we got to your church so I can pray for... what do mean you don't have a church?"

9. After consulting with Jesse Jackson, Mel Gibson, and Pat Buchanan, Michael Richards blamed his outburst on 'the dirty, sneaky, money-grubbing Jews.'

10. "Sure you can have an autograph, I had no idea you were a fan, Senator Byrd."

Best of Van Helsing
A chastised Richards resolutely fails to notice as Jackson helps himself to his wallet.

Best of prince of leaves
"But most of all, I'm sorry that my insensitive remarks offended Dawn..."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Ya know Jesse, Having Michael Richards appear on the Def Comedy Jam for pennance was a little over the edge."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Uh... he's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

Best of elliot
Million Man March II...999,999 black guys chasing after Michael Richards.

Best of Straight8
You gonna eat the rest of that watermelon?

Best of Rodney Dill
"Why yes, Kramerica is an equal opportunity employer."

Best of Dave
My attorney, Jackie Childs, has advised me not to answer that question.

Best of Submariner
Just to show there's no hard feelings about you crashing my career with that "Racist Richards" crap, I'm inviting the whole damn lot of you NAACP ni, er, brothers to my house for fried chicken, collard greens and watermelons...

Best of Submariner
Pardon me, but I speak jive. May I help?

Best of Adjustah
"I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about it!" - This year, the airing of grievances was going to take a while.


Photo: Van the Helsing

22 comments:

Van Helsing said...

A chastised Richards resolutely fails to notice as Jackson helps himself to his wallet.

prince of leaves said...

Taking a cue from Mark Foley, Richards blamed his outburst on a history of alcholism and being molested by a black priest as a child, before hieing off to a "rehab center" in an undisclosed location until the storm passed.

prince of leaves said...

"In fact, some of my best friends..."

prince of leaves said...

"But most of all, I'm sorry that my insensitive remarks offended Dawn..."

prince of leaves said...

"Fo' me ta be at uh comedy club an' flip out an' say dis here crap, I'm mad sorry, fo sho y'all. I be no racist. That's what's so whack about dis here. --- So, you like it? My new friend Jesse here, he taught me to speak in your language, see?"

Jonathan said...

"Yo, Richards...Samuel says you DO look like a bitch!"

andthenblammo! said...

"It was either kissing Jesse's, Oprah's, or Al Sharpton's big ass, or the Lexus was on the repo hook and goodbye, Manhattan, hello, TinTown Trailer Park!. So cut me some slack."

Cybrludite said...

Damn you, VtK! Number 5 resulted in a monitor full of coffee! :-p

Anonymous said...

What do you mean their not my bodyguards?

Rodney Dill said...

Black Man on Right: "Ya know Jesse, Having Michael Richards appear on the Def Comedy Jam for pennance was a little over the edge."

Rodney Dill said...

"Uh... he's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

Anonymous said...

Million Man March II...999,999 black guys chasing after Richard.

Rodney Dill said...

"... and I like Black people so much, even my lawn jockey is black."

Rodney Dill said...

"I wish I know how to obit. you."

Straight8 said...

You gonna eat the rest of that watermelon?

Rodney Dill said...

"Why yes, Kramerica is an equal opportunity employer."

Anonymous said...

Thought bubble: "Hmmm, I wonder how much I can shake this honkie down for..."

Dave said...

My attorney, Jackie Childs, has advised me not to answer that question.

Submariner said...

Just to show there's no hard feelings about you crashing my career with that "Racist Richards" crap, I'm inviting the whole damn lot of you NAACP ni, er, brothers to my house for fried chicken, collard greens and watermelons...

Submariner said...

Just one question - have any of you caught Chris Rock's act?

Submariner said...

Pardon me, but I speak jive. May I help?

Adjustah said...

"I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about it!" - This year, the airing of grievances was going to take a while.