Thursday, November 02, 2006

The retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt-sex with a fish-squirrel

Mike Stark... the parents-basement-dwelling, Hot-Pocket-swilling Kostard who disrupted a George Allen campaign event earlier this week. Politics really is Hollywood for ugly people.

1. "Now is the time on Shprockets vhen ve dance."

2. "Let me in, or I'll touch you with my baby-soft hands and doughy belly section."

3. Folk wisdom: When a whiny lib pushes his way through the kitchen door, odds are he's not gonna offer to help with the dishes.

4. "Outta my way, Fascist! I have to nuke some Velveeta and Doritos in your microwave."

5. "Outta my way, Fascist! The 'Squiggy' look-alike contest is about to start."

6. "Copping a feel as I force my pasty soft body through doorways occupied by other people is the closest thing I get to intimate human contact."

7. "Did someone say 'Free Desserts!"

8. "Hey! There are no free aluminum foil reflector beanies in here. Damn you Karl Rove!"

Best of jeff
"I gotta get out of here before I start thinking rationally!"

Best of andthenblammo!
"Boss! Change the sign from "All you can eat" to "All a normal human can eat" and we won't have this problem again!"

Best of Submariner
Now that you mention it; yes, your boobs ARE bigger'n Cindy Sheehan's...

What happens in the Avalon Manor coat closet, SHOULD stay in the Avalon Manor coat closet...

I KNOW there's mistletoe hanging there, Mirton, but we're kinda, sorta STUCK here until somebody gives one of us a push...

Best of Queequeg
Statistically, I guess it was bound to happen - a pot luck where every single family brought a dish of beans...

Best of sonicfrog
What's this?? Fraternal siamese twins???

Best of Straight8
We have to wait 'til we cross the border in to Massachusetts.

Whoa! Did you get a whif of the armpit funk on that dude back there?

Best of Frank IBC
After rubbing each others' doughy bellies together for a few minutes, foreplay would proceed to the next stage - fondling each others' hairy man-boobs.

Best of Rodney Dill
"SQUEEEEEL"

Source

Hat Tip: Right Wing Conspirator

17 comments:

Silhouette said...

"You rogue! You are waltzing me away from my chaperones. My father will expect you to make an offer in the morning."

jeff said...

"I gotta get out of here before I start thinking rationally!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son!"

andthenblammo! said...

"I wanna lead! You always lead!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Boss! Change the sign from "All you can eat" to "All a normal human can eat" and we won't have this problem again!"

Submariner said...

Now that you mention it; yes, your boobs ARE bigger'n Cindy Sheehan's...

Submariner said...

Sully and the boyfriend enjoyed their "maintenance closet escapade" until they found out it really wasn't a one-way mirror door.

Submariner said...

Although the main ballroom was swinging and his pick up line on the waiter was working, Mike was about to find out that he'd booked more than he bargained for on the Poseidon...

Submariner said...

Just come quietly, sir. You've been implicated in the theft of the "Best of" entries at CapThis!

Queequeg said...

Statistically, I guess it was bound to happen - a pot luck where every single family brought a dish of beans...

sonicfrog said...

What's this?? Fraternal siamese twins???

Straight8 said...

We have to wait 'til we cross the border in to Massachusetts.

Whoa! Did you get a whif of the armpit funk on that dude back there?

Frank IBC said...

After rubbing each others' doughy bellies together for a few minutes, foreplay would proceed to the next stage - fondling each others' hairy man-boobs.

Submariner said...

What happens in the Avalon Manor coat closet, SHOULD stay in the Avalon Manor coat closet...

Rodney Dill said...

"SQUEEEEEL"

Submariner said...

I KNOW there's mistletoe hanging there, Mirton, but we're kinda, sorta STUCK here until somebody gives one of us a push...

Submariner said...

Mike, what a relief! Tor a second there I thought you were Mikulski...