Monday, November 06, 2006

No, I'm Not Done With You Yet, Frankenface

1. Kerry, to his horror, realizes he almost touched a peasant.

2. Uh, oh. Someone just sat on Sullivan's wet spot.

3. "And this is the face I make when Tuhrayzuh suggests 'maritals.'"

4. "My fortune reads, 'You're a complete putz and you'll never be president... in bed.'"

5. "So, exactly how much of a pathetic loser do you have to be to finish a night of Chuck-E-Cheese skee-ball with exactly one ticket?"

6. "I realize you're a little bit behind the times, senator, but Cheers was cancelled in 1993. It's much too late to do a 'Massachusetts Politician Cameo.'"

7. "Well, since you told the waiter he was 'too stupid even to serve in the military,' I'm not surprised he blew a loogie into your white wine spritzer."

8. "I just have this weird feeling there's a nerd in a striped shirt staring at me."

9. A typical Democrat, Kerry opts to cut and run before the bill arrives.

10. "Senator, they did warn you that botox injections could cause your face to freeze, did they not?"


Best of sonicfrog
Looks like someone finally had the courage to sit him down and show a video montage of his various gaffes. Finally, he gets it.

Best of Steve B
It was exactly at this time he finally figured out how bad his Bush/Iraq joke really was... albeit two weeks later.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offer to pick up the tab."

Best of Adjustah
SHIT! Have I mentioned my Purple Hearts already?!

Best of Van Helsing
Kerry realizes that while he wasn't paying attention, his mouth opened again.

Best of Cricket
I hate it when Tuhrayzuh gives me our 'secret signal.'

Best of prince of leaves
Where will YOU be when your conscience kicks in?

Girl: "Wow, mister! That's a really scary costume, and realistic too! But you know Halloween was a week ago, right?"

"Too...much...quiche...can I...please...have the...men's room keys...NOW???"

Best of Anonymous
"That philly I just ate had Cheeze Whiz and not Swiss on it? Quelle horreur!!!"

Best of Jay Guevara
"Jesus Christ, I just realized I accidentally voted for myself!"

Best of cricket
My stupid comments are seared, seared into my memory.

Best of Rodney Dill
"...and now at our new Karoake night, we have John Kerry singing Feelings."

Best of curly
"Here's my impression of Teresa when she found out that we had to fly coach one time back in '04."

Best of David Simon
Senator Kerry tries to squeeze off a SBD, but ends up with a greasy rim instead.
Source: New York Magazine

25 comments:

Jonathan said...

Senator Kerry just read the note handed to him by the waiter: "Harold Ford says 'Call me'!"

sonicfrog said...

Looks like someone finally had the courage to sit him down and show a video montage of his various gaffes. Finally, he gets it.

jeff said...

"Bob the Veteran scored a direct hit with his taser disguised as a microphone."

The Man said...

Kerry: Oh you are a veteran? Well then I will speak a little slower then.

sonicfrog said...

Sudden realization: Oh My God! I'm John Kerry!!!

Steve B said...

It was exactly at this time he finally figured out how bad his Bush/Iraq joke really was... albeit two weeks later.

Rodney Dill said...

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offer to pick up the tab."

Adjustah said...

SHIT! Have I mentioned my Purple Hearts already?!

lawhawk said...

Now, a week later, and another campaign season sabotaged by his ill timed gaffes, does he realize the error of his ways.

Kerry's Crouching Woose, Hidden Fighter technique left much to be desired.

That squishing sound you just heard was my chances of getting nominated in 2008.

Van Helsing said...

Kerry realizes that while he wasn't paying attention, his mouth opened again.

Cricket said...

I hate it when Tuhrayzuh gives me our 'secret signal.'

Anonymous said...

Girl: See, I told you he had none.

prince of leaves said...

Where will YOU be when your conscience kicks in?

prince of leaves said...

Girl: "Wow, mister! That's a really scary costume, and realistic too! But you know Halloween was a week ago, right?"

prince of leaves said...

"Too...much...quiche...can I...please...have the...men's room keys...NOW???"

Anonymous said...

"That philly I just ate had Cheeze Whiz and not Swiss on it? Quelle horreur!!!"

prince of leaves said...

"I'm in the vee-eff-what lounge..?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Jesus Christ, I just realized I accidentally voted for myself!"

cricket said...

My stupid comments are seared, seared into my memory.

Girl laughing: "Senator Kerry, you have a way with 'botch'ulism."

Rodney Dill said...

"...and now at our new Karoake night, we have John Kerry singing Feelings."

WALSTIB said...

[obligatory cap]

Where will you be when your laxitive kicks in?

Cricket said...

"You want me to make a donation to VALOUR-IT?"

curly said...

"Here's my impression of Teresa when she found out that we had to fly coach one time back in '04."

"Here's another good one...You want to hear the Democtrat plan on Iraq?"...Pffft!..."Whew! Now that's a stinker!"

David Simon said...

Senator Kerry tries to squeeze off a SBD, but ends up with a greasy rim instead.

David Simon said...

"Shit, missed the Lotto by one number again. Excuse me, blondie, but by any chance are you an heiress?"