Monday, November 20, 2006

Monday Moan


1. The cover of Emo band "Hip Pain's" latest album was too disturbing even for Marilyn Manson.

2. Snoop Dogg, the later years.

3. In the future, couples in their Golden Years will be pumped full of hormones and relocated to underwater retirement homes.

4. Admit it, you just threw up in your mouth a little.

5. "Oh yeah, baby Unh! You're a young worker! Unh! I'm living off the social security you'll never collect, Unh! Yeah, take it, bitch!"

Best of nevergrewup
"Honey,if you could see better, you could read on the bottle that this is the only way this pill can be properly inserted."

Best of The Man
$50 million dollars later, the K-Fed-Brittany sex tape airs.

Best of Anonymous
Hip Pain's follow-up release, "Rectal Itch," was even less successful.

Best of Submariner
Barney giggled; "push in your stool, Freshman?"

Best of divine miss m
This way, they can BOTH watch Hockey Night in Canada.

Best of Shayne
"I'm flaccid and I can't get up!"

Best of Jay Guevara
Latest movie release from the Middle East: "When Osama met Yasser"

Best of Rodney Dill
Chelsea Clinton: "Mom? Dad?"

Best of evariste
Remember, dear, pull the beads out gently and slowly this time. You're not trying to start the lawnmower!

Best of Submariner
Tonight on E! Hollywood Insider: David Nelson (the other son) takes you through his private, never-before-seen-by-the-public, collection of out-takes from the "Ozzie and Harriet Show."

Best of Anonymous
Some Imam from Australia who compares women to dogs filmed a demonstration of how to treat women in bed. In the demonstration, all participants are clothed, but the woman is not wearing her hijab. In such event, the, Imam states, the man is obliged to cause her hip pain by doing her from the small hole in the behind, all the while shrieking, "cover your face!"

Best of Anonymous
How not to remove a gerbil.

Best of Rodney Dill
Geriatic Sex 101: 'tis better to copulate than never.

Best of Adjustah
Thanks to YouTube, we can now all enjoy the U.K. versions of the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed commercials...

Best of Submariner
Is it in yet, Earl?

Best of Adjustah
Andy hated it when Grandma and Grandpa stayed in his room for Thanksgiving...

Best of sonicfrog
♫ ...We don't have to take outr clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance & party all night (all night)
And drink some cherry wine
Uh huh
Na na na na na na... ♫



Source: K the P

27 comments:

nevergrewup said...

"Honey,if you could see, you would be able to read on the bottle that this is the only way this pill can be properly inserted."

The Man said...

Metaphor for the Dems taking it to the voters.

The Man said...

$50 million dollars later, the K-Fed-Brittany sex tape airs.

Submariner said...

DRUDGBREAKING...
Keith Ohlberman's attempt last night to increase ratings actually caused the single biggest negative TIVO spike ever seen.
Developing...

lawhawk said...

And here, I thought I was having a bad day...

Anonymous said...

Hip Pain's follow-up release, "Rectal Itch," was even less successful.

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan is reported to have said; "Pain? I'm hip..."

Submariner said...

"Turning to the science desk; we now have conclusive proof there are rings around yer anus..."



v. word - azzsmn

Submariner said...

Barney giggled; "push in your stool, Freshman?"

divine miss m said...

This way, they can BOTH watch Hockey Night in Canada.

Anonymous said...

"Um, Maabel dear, how does this work again?"

Anonymous said...

"I'm flaccid and I can't get up!"

Jay Guevara said...

Latest movie release from the Middle East: "When Osama met Yasser"

Rodney Dill said...

Chelsea Clinton: "Mom? Dad?"

Rodney Dill said...

...and it only cost $15 million in taxpayer money for the government to come up with this idea.

Rodney Dill said...

"Of course this is covered by Universal Health Care, Eta."

evariste said...

Remember, dear, pull the beads out gently and slowly this time. You're not trying to start the lawnmower!

Submariner said...

Tonight on E! Hollywood Insider;
David Nelson (the other son) takes you through his private, never-before-seen-by-the-public, collection of out-takes from the "Ozzie and Harriet Show."

Anonymous said...

Some Imam from Australia who compares women to dogs filmed a demonstration of how to treat women in bed. In the demonstration, all participants are clothed, but the woman is not wearing her hijab. In such event, the, Imam states, the man is obliged to cause her hip pain by doing her from the small hole in the behind, all the while shrieking, "cover your face!"

Anonymous said...

How not to remove a gerbil.

Rodney Dill said...

Geriatic Sex 101: 'tis better to copulate than never.

Rodney Dill said...

"Man, I'm soft already, now where did I put that garden gnome."

Adjustah said...

Thanks to YouTube, we can now all enjoy the U.K. versions of the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed commercials...

Submariner said...

Is it in yet, Earl?

Submariner said...

Earl Pitts, Amur-ican. Pitts, uh, uh, off!

Adjustah said...

Andy hated it when Grandma and Grandpa stayed in his room for Thanksgiving...

sonicfrog said...

♫ ...We don't have to take outr clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance & party all night (all night)
And drink some cherry wine
Uh huh
Na na na na na na... ♫