Monday, October 16, 2006
1. "Congressman Frank, I'm pretty sure this is NOT one of the normal duties of a House Page."
2. "And now, let me demonstrate how I made Florence 'Wessonality' Henderson my personal biyatch."
3. "I don't have a drinking problem. I can quit any time I want."
4. "Mom, I'm going to be in the bathroom for the next, oh, two or three hours."
5. "Yeah, I now save all my urine. That Sullivan guy pays me $50 a bottle for it."
6. "Hey! I'm just trying to make some french fries here. You people are sick. Sick! Sick! Sick!"
7. "That creepy pervert Gerry Studds is dead? Dude, I'm gonna celebrate by frying up the biggest batch of chicken you ever saw!"
8. Ang Lee remakes Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This time, instead of the road trip to Chicago, Ferris and Cameron stay home and give each other hot oil massages.
9. "OK, we got the cooking oil, styrofoam cups, and Windex. Now, according to the Anarchist cookbook, all we need are some mothballs and Bam! No school tomorrow."
10. "So, dad, I'm still the will, right? Cool, let me whip you up some deep-fried pork chops."