Tuesday, October 17, 2006
1. President Bush met with Senator Dick Durbin today...
2. "No cherry Jell-O and whipped cream dessert for me, thanks. I'm, um, full."
3. Bush just hopes he's staring at the female body-builders and not the boy with the cooking oil.
4. "So, did you come to preach terror on a State Department E-Z Visa, or did you just walk across our undefended southern border? Either way, welcome. Welfare office is over there."
5. "Ah, another dupe willing to take the fall for the 9-11 plot I masterminded. Ex-cellent"
6. "Come on up to the Karaoke mike. We've got Slipknot's 'People = Sh*t' all cued up for you."
7. At a White House Ramadan ceremony, an imam toasted the birth of the 300 millionth American dhimmi.
8. "And the next Bachelor at our Bachelor Auction enjoys plotting global jihad and performing clitorectomies. Let's give a big infidel welcome to Imam Talal Eid."
9. "By the way, the NSA said to tell you, your dry cleaning is ready."
10. "It was just a security measure and we're all very sorry to have offended you. The Secret Service will return your bomb belt after the meeting."
Best of Capt. Queeg
"It's been like that for over four hours now, Talal?...Lemme get you to the ER..."
Best of jeff
"Cheney was more impressive."
Best of sonicfrog
Pissing on the shoes of dignataries is kinda an odd custom, but I won't judge ya. 'Cause I'm a decider, not a judger-er. So do you use the toilet paper wrapped around your fez to clean things up?
Best of Jonathan
"I'm sorry, Ibrahaim! Someone should have told you to avoid Toomer's Corner after Auburn football games!"
Best of Curly
"No Your Holiness, I don't think Laura's interested in a clitorectomy, but thanks for asking."
"No Your Holiness, I don’t perceive Islam as a misogynistic, myopic, homophobic, anti-Semitic, racist, suicidal death cult for big-nosed losers, but thanks for asking.”
“Judging from the amount of Charmin on your fez, you must be a Shi’ite.”
Best of Van Helsing
"That's all right, lot's of people have... accidents. But of course you'll have to clean it up."
Best of the paperboy
So, if I pull that finger down there does this thing up here pop up or something?
Photo: Ass Press /Gerald Herbert/Excite News