1. "Dammit, FedEx. Haven't you people ever heard of airholes?"2. "Pussy... box... open... there's got to be something there. Think, SOTG, THINK!"
3. "Hey, Hon? On your way to work, could you bury somethin' for me?"
4. Sully's friend's pets have developed the Pavlovian habit of hiding and shielding their anuses whenever he drops by.
5. One of LAX's trained 'sniffer car' encounters Aaron Sorkin's luggage.
6. "Hey, Remember how the cat went missing when we put away the Halloween decorations last year? Well, guess what?"
7. With help from UPS, Toonces finally escapes from the Mary Kay testing lab.
8. "Damn it, Anti-freeze. Why did you have to be so tasty?"
9. The take-out order from Beijing Express was a little undercooked.
10. Enlightened, free speech lefties send a friendly warning to a member of the Minutemen
Best of Son Of The Godfather
When V said he had a picture of a hairy pussy in a hiding space, I thought for sure it was another pic of Saddam's capture.
Kim Jong Il?... Your take-out is ready!
The "Shroedinger's Cat" experiment ends with a predictable result - Nancy Pelosi is still a skanky b*tch.
Best of prince of leaves
What was really in the FedEx box Tom Hanks delivered at the end of "Castaway".
Stephen King later sued the producers of horror flick "Pet Self-Storage" for blatant plagiarism.
Amazon.com's online pet store was somewhat less successful than its other lines of business due.
Best of divine miss m
The kitten Jack Bauer wasn't able to save.
Best of Silhouette
"But Dad, I heard you tell Mom the other night that this is just what you wanted for your birthday."
The Al Gore Pack-N-Send prides itself on using all biodregradeable packing materials.
Children cried. Parents were horrified. Frosted Flakes Cereal's groundbreaking prize campaign did not go over well.
Best of Anonymous
AP - The "Miracle Cat" whose nipples spelled Allah was summarily choked to death and delivered to the local museum.
Best of Submariner
Hillary chuckled cruelly; "Better enjoy it Bill - it's the only one you'll get until after the election in 2008."
I'm not coming out until the Korean kids are gone!
Best of Curly
"Dad, your pit bull food is here."
Best of champaignken
Rosie's Google search for a warm pussy in a tight box proved disappointing.
Best of Rodney Dill
Nermal is off to Abu Dhabi again?
Best of sonicfrog
All we need is a fish taco and we'll have a trifecta!
Best of Steve B
"Like, ah, snatch, box and pussy all have other meanings, man. Even in a Walt Disney movie, you can say, 'We're going to snatch that pussy and put him in a box and bring him on the airplane.'"
HT: Divine Miss M.
31 comments:
Not as spunky: Cats shipped via UPS Ground.
Re: #2... Ha! :)
Don't you wish you were this flexible?
"That Suess guy copyrighted the hat thing - so I went with a box."
"What? You've never seen CatYoga?"
"Hon, no more bringing the boxes they ship catnip in home."
When V said he had a picture of a hairy pussy in a hiding space, I thought for sure it was another pic of Saddam's capture.
Kim Jong Il?... Your take-out is ready!
The "Shroedinger's Cat" experiment ends with a predictable result - Nancy Pelosi is still a skanky b*tch.
What was really in the FedEx box Tom Hanks delivered at the end of "Castaway".
Stephen King later sued the producers of horror flick "Pet Self-Storage" for blatant plagiarism.
Toonces puts the "cat" in "catatonic".
Amazon.com's online pet store was somewhat less successful than its other lines of business due to the high rate of defective returns.
"We were sad to have to put Fluffy to sleep...but on the bright side, she makes a lovely stole."
Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat cold, dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant...
And furthermore, Opus now lives in my freezer.
"But Dad, I heard you tell Mom the other night that this is just what you wanted for your birthday."
The Al Gore Pack-N-Send prides itself on using all biodregradeable packing materials.
Children cried. Parents were horrified. Frosted Flakes Cereal's groundbreaking prize campaign did not go over well.
AP - The "Miracle Cat" whose nipples spelled Allah was summarily choked to death and delivered to the local museum.
ORA:
Stile was ecstatic! All he had to do was nail it to the wall and his genuine Xanth Cat Ass Trophy would be displayed for all to see!
Hillary chuckled cruelly; "Better enjoy it Bill - it's the only one you'll get until after the election in 2008."
hmmmmmm - first feline tesseract I've ever seen.
Felix was ticked - "Look dammit; if your owner had 3 foot long fingernails you'd hide too!"
I'm not coming out until the Korean kids are gone!
The last time I saw this I was bawling my eyes out looking through the phone books for the Humane Society, and that looser in the wizard hat was playing Everquest on my phone line for the 912th straight day.
Atta boy Ralphie. Now you know what to do next? BURN 'EM ALL!
Another failed attempt at global outsourcing...
Clone-a-Cat's services were overwhelmed after a request for Cat DNA
Tight pussy.
Cable's new FeliNEWS channel sports an unusual test pattern.
"Dad, your pit bull food is here."
Rosie's Google search for a warm pussy in a tight box proved disappointing.
Nermal is off to Abu Dhabi again?
The kitten Jack Bauer wasn't able to save.
All we need is a fish taco and we'll have a trifecta!
word ver: vdyvd
Bless you George Carlin...
"Like, ah, snatch, box and pussy all have other meanings, man. Even in a Walt Disney movie, you can say, 'We're going to snatch that pussy and put him in a box and bring him on the airplane.'"
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