1. ORA "And when this gets done, I'll be known as Arthur 'Three Sheds' Jackson."
2. Another ORA The Hallmark Channel presents an updated version of "Cask of Amontillado," sponsored by Home Depot.
3. "Anyway, the rest of the Habitat for Humanity crew got fed up with Mr. Nobel Laureate's 'Holier-Than-F*cking-Thou' attitude and buried him under a cement slab."
4. "Sorry, Ms. Pelosi. But everytime people see your botoxed mug on TV, we lose 2 percent in the polls, so Howard Dean said you had to be tied up in a shed until after election day."
5. "OK, torture shed's almost ready. Let's go pick us up some hitch-hikers."