1. "I hope you don't mind if I breast-feed some abos during the press conference."
2. "The thing crapping on my right shoulder? I'm pretty sure its supposed to be an emu. Next question."
3. "As soon as I can get Scotty to beam the infestation to the Klingon ship, they'll be no tribble at all."
4. "What Mr Kangaroo? I should kill them? But Mr Emu says it would be wrong."
5. "On behalf of the government of Australia, welcome to Murkinfest."
Best of Rodney Dill
"No I don't think we're over politicizing the passing of Steve Irwin... Crikey."
Best of Cybrludite
Crikey, some deranged leftist has beaned the PM in the head with a ninja star!
Best of Silhouette
The pageant tiaras sometimes go overboard in their attempt to be "different."
Best of Zeke
Small murmuring began about John Howards increasing messianic dreams, and the "HolyRoo Halo" that surrounded his head each time he spoke.
Best of Frank IBC
Evariste: "I recognize the kangaroo, but what's that other animal?"
Frank IBC: "I think it's the Prime Minister of Australia."
Best of Submariner
Having affixed his tiara, John Howard wowed the White House Press Corps with his rousing renition of "I Feel Pretty."
Yes, Dawn, my vest IS made from the scalps of two NAACP leaders. Why?
Mr. Gregory; while it may be true that your Vice President Cheney IS "a hell of a lay," there's an excellent reason I'm referred to as "The Great White From Down Under" by my home press...
Best of prince of leaves
In a press conference today, John Howard announced he will undergo surgery this month to reduce the size of his hairy manbreasts.
Best of the paperboy
'Ow to speak Austraylian: Nativity Scene
Best of divine miss m
The Aussie Haircare Company needs a better spokesmodel.
Best of Curly
Now that Steve Irwin has passed, the creatures of the wild move on to their next feed.