1. "Look Mom. No STDs!"
2. "Look, we all got letters from our Prison Pen Pals!"
3. "Big deal, Jon-Benet. We all got a hot, steaming letter from that new teacher, Mr. Karr."
4. "Mr. Strickland, we heard you were a Democrat and so we all got restraining orders."
5. "We'll let you in on a little secret, Janet. In Mr. Strickland's class, a paper in the genre 'Dear Penthouse, I didn't believe your stories were true until...' is an automatic A+"
6. "Aw, come on Janey. All the other kids signed JD's Suicide pact."
7. "Lynx! Lamb! Over here! Autograph our manifesto!"
8. "I can't believe none of us scored above 11 on the Purity Test."
9. "Here's a list of our demands. We throw out the body of the first hostage in 30 minutes. Do you understand, Mr. Bauer?"
10. "Here's our assignments, Mr. Strickland. Now, what does logging our bowel movements for a month have to do with Math?"