1. "Ah, Helen Thomas, so glad you could make it. When Ms. Pelosi arrives, we will convene the coven."
2. "Wow, what a creepy Hallowe'en shrunken apple head doll. Oh, wait, that's grandma!"
3. Then, one day, the painting in her upstairs boudoir was destroyed and Cher turned into this.
4. "The realtor said I'd never sell this Gingerbread House. How much are you offering, Mr. Foley?"
5. Joy and Crabman, the later years.
Best of Silhouette
Great, now my hair looks like the guy's in the background.
Best of Straight8
Of course, some other areas of personal hygene have also been neglected for the past 30 years.
Best of racerboy
Gee, thanks, V... You know, there's some slightly-less disturbing ways of reminding us it's not Thursday yet...
Best of Submariner
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
Nobody illustrated the old adage better'n Grandma...
Helen smiled; "Once i hook a really good booger, I never use that nail again... Wanna see my toes?"
Sometimes SOTG just pees in an available corner at parties. Looks like he hit an outlet this time...
Best of Silhouette
"Do you like my sweater? I knitted it myself."
Best of the paperboy
George Bush made me sleep for forty years!
Best of prince of leaves
The truth can now be revealed: Howard Hughes faked his death in 1976 and has lived the quiet life of a modestly successful (if eccentric and germophobic) transvestite salon owner in South Beach ever since.
Ten thousand years in the Atlantis hibernation chamber aren't kind, even to an Ancient.
Best of Anonymous
No caption could possibly be as funny as the thought of her wiping her ass.
Best of MI-Matt
Graveyard caretakers discovered formerly deceased TX Gov Ann Richards propped up and unable to sign autographs.
Best of Mr. Right
"And now, Young Skyywalker... you will die!"
INDY: "...And Willie, whatever you do, just make certain you never, ever look directly into the Ark... I suppose I should have mentioned that a little bit sooner, huh?"
H/T: K the P
34 comments:
Another one nailed by VtheK
Great, now my hair looks like the guy's in the background.
Why would V the K ask me for a picture "scratching my itch" for Thursday?
Of course, some other areas of personal hygene have been neglected for the past 30 years.
Behold the amazing powers of gelatin!
"I'm a proctologist... why?"
Gee, thanks, V... You know, there's some slightly-less disturbing ways of reminding us it's not Thursday yet...
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
Nobody illustrated the old adage better'n Grandma...
Ms. Cryptkeeper showed the proof that nails keep on growing after death.
The new "bodies" exhibit turns into a freak show
Grandma was a human tester for female Rogaine and brought valuable data to team about soaking your hands in the product
"Do you like my sweater? I knitted it myself."
"Secretary Rice, did you notice any side effects after your trip to North Korea?"
The line, "I'll get you, my pretty... and your little dog... a tutu!" leaves me with the image of this being lifting the little girl's dress with her fingernails.
It's something that escaped from a Clive Barker film.
Burdened by the stress of deservedly poor ratings, Katie Couric decided to try a new segment - "seeBS manufactures the news."
Unfortunately for her career, the public responded with a collective yawn, and a listless "what's new about that?"
George Bush made me sleep for forty years!
The truth can now be revealed: Howard Hughes faked his death in 1976 and has lived the quiet life of a modestly successful (if eccentric and germophobic) transvestite salon owner in South Beach ever since.
She may look emaciated here, but under that black robe are shoulders and arms to rival Schwarzenegger's.
Ten thousand years in the Atlantis hibernation chamber aren't kind, even to an Ancient.
Coochie, coochie, coo!
No caption could possibly be as funny as the thought of her wiping her ass.
Ah, jeeze, VtK, I was eating. There goes my appetite... for the next year!
... they're only inconvenient when I have to scratch my nose...
OK, she's freaky. But I wanna know what hair raising thing the guy in the back is looking at!!!
Helen smiled; "Once i hook a really good booger, I never use that nail again... Wanna see my toes?"
Guess what! Grandma won the audition for the part of the crypt keeper in the new 'Tales From the Crypt!'
Wow! Elvira has really let herself go!
Sometimes SOTG just pees in an available corner at parties. Looks like he hit an outlet this time...
"Just tell your old Granny why you missed dinner last night; I'm sure I'll understand..."
"I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa."
On a recent campaign stop, an incredulous Barney Frank responds to a constituent's weight loss tip: "Funny, I smoke crack and bone, and I never lose a pound."
"...and Grandma, what big fingernails you have...".
"The jokes on you...My Welfare Nails prove I haven't worked in 30 years -- AND YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT! Ha Ha!"
"Drugs? I never touches 'em."
"I'd like to try the Internet and email, but..."
Graveyard caretakers discovered formerly deceased TX Gov Ann Richards propped up and unable to sign autographs. --Michigan Matt
"And now, Young Skyywalker... you will die!"
INDY: "...And Willie, whatever you do, just make certain you never, ever look directly into the Ark... I suppose I should have mentioned that a little bit sooner, huh?"
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